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  1. #11
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CrystalViolet View Post
    I can't see what possible satisfication could be had, say for example, by watching an excited child become crestfallen. It breaks my heart a tiny bit. I can't imagine what it would be like for a parent to see that. Yet I've seen a couple of my friends parent's to do to thier grand children over something they've set their heart on. I'm talking small kids. I don't care how crappy your life is or has been, how can you crush a wee kid like that.
    My step kids mother is like this, she has always been like this. It takes every bit of willpower I can summon to keep from punching her in the face. The bad part is the kids don't know any different from her. She is miserable and she wants everyone around her to be miserable but the outside world, no. She is a completely different person and everything is done for appearance. We simply minimize her ability to wound the kids this way by not giving her the opportunity.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  2. #12
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    it's not that i want others to be miserable, I just want to punch the overly friendly people in the mouth
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  3. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    it's not that i want others to be miserable, I just want to punch the overly friendly people in the mouth
    Two sides of the same coin. Nobody likes a ruse.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  4. #14
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iwakar View Post
    Two sides of the same coin. Nobody likes a ruse.
    what coin are you talking about?
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  5. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    what coin are you talking about?
    Self-presentation.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  6. #16
    Senior Member TenebrousReflection's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    The bolded is what inspired me to make this thread. It seems like people like this don't want anyone to be happy if they aren't happy, but I question if that's what's really going on? Like perhaps they're just defending and protecting their belief system that brings them comfort instead, which has the side effect of making others miserable. Maybe it's not deliberate.
    When I feel miserable, seeing happy people heightens my misery because it reminds me of the things missing from my life that put me in a state of misery to begin with.

    When I am miserable, I don't want to make others feel the same, but I also have a tendency to want to talk about it which can leave me feeling a bit conflicted as to how much of my misery experience to share. I also want to find others that already feel that way (or have felt that way) so I feel less alone in my misery - there is comfort in knowing that others are or have gone through what you are going through. I don't know if I would say that people that feel this way "enjoy being miserable", but its more that they have accepted it as a part of themselves and as a part of life and part of being alive (when you have felt the depths of misery, then you also can have greater appreciation of joy and happiness through knowing the contrast and the phrase "I'd rather feel pain than feel nothing" may also apply in the case of emotional misery) and they may try to express their oneness with misery through some form of art such as music or poetry (this seems fairly common in gothic music and poetry).

    As you mention, there are those that want to inflict their misery on others, but I don't think those people actually enjoy being miserable, but they may enjoy bringing other people down. I think anger and bitterness are the factors at work there, and doing so may make them feel good (I can understand it if they actually blame that person for their misery, but when its a third party, I think its a case of lashing out at those that they can because they feel powerless regarding the source of their misery - they may or may not want others to share their misery, but more often than not (in my observations, but it also depends on how unhealthy the person doing it is) they are simply having a natural lack of self control due to stress and are "not themselves"). A person doing that could just be a highly stressed individual, or they could be a bitter sadistic person, but in either case, unless they are also a masochist, I highly doubt they enjoy misery (or even have reached a point of misery acceptance as described above).

    That is different than those that want to share/express their misery either as a form of expression or as a way of crying out for help and support.

    There is another category that I forgot to address initially as well. There are those that feel they deserve it, so they embrace it as a form of penance for their perceived wrongs. I don't think such persons would want to bring others down to their level of misery, but they want to show they are suffering so others see them as repenting.
    (keys2cognition) Fi (47.6), Ne (36.8), Fe (36.8), Si (31.6), Ti (29.7), Ni (27.4), Te (17.2) Se (12.5) - subject to change - last updated 11JAN2012
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  7. #17
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    when I'm unhappy I tend to try and hide from humanity

    when I catch someone else being unhappy I try to cheer them up and receive evil looks from them for doing so most of the time
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  8. #18
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    When unhappy, I usually withdraw from people. Not much into public whining.

  9. #19
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LadyJaye View Post
    They're feeling victimized, and they want you to sit in the hole they're in, instead of trying to climb out.
    EXACTLY. Well stated!

    Quote Originally Posted by LadyJaye View Post
    Whether they don'tknow any better, or are completely aware and doing it anyway, the result is the same. It's a very toxic attitude. I treat it like an attempted hijacking.
    Spot on, once again.

    If They Don't Know They are Doing It = "Victim Complex" or "Wallowing in their Own Self Pity"

    If They DO Know They are Doing It = "Manipulative Behavior" of "Baby Manifestation of Sociopathy/Control Freakism"

    I have no patience for people like this.
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  10. #20
    ThatGirl
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    When I am unhappy I do enjoy company. Not so they can sit and wallow with me. It is because frequently I can't think my way out of it, until I have had a break from focusing on it. Then I can view the situation from a fresh perspective.

    If I am suffering (any kind of pain) I prefer to be completely alone. There is no reason someone would need to watch that since I am clumsy in figuring out how to deal, not to mention impatient and angry.

    The absolute LAST thing I want to do is be around other miserable people. I am way too irritated to deal with that shit.

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