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Made.to feel like a failurr

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
25 still no direction no degree and people being like well what have you been doing. Fine I'm a failure but do people have to point it out?
 

Stanton Moore

morose bourgeoisie
Joined
Mar 4, 2009
Messages
3,900
MBTI Type
INFP
You should read a book called 'They F*** You up' by Oliver James. It will make you feel a lot better. You can get a used copy on Amazon for $1.70!
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
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Jun 11, 2007
Messages
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yupp
You should read a book called 'They F*** You up' by Oliver James. It will make you feel a lot better. You can get a used copy on Amazon for $1.70!

Ill check it out after im done with American Gods
 

thisGuy

New member
Joined
Mar 14, 2009
Messages
1,187
MBTI Type
entp
If you empathize with them, you'll prolly discover that they have attempted some things in that time and were simply wondering if you did the same. I'm sure most don't do it for the fun of pointing out but to connect and find common ground.

How you react to the question is up to you, not them.

Easier said than done! Its hard as hell but thats my view on life...people are people, can't do anything about them. All you can do is learn and possibly change yourself.
 

Stanton Moore

morose bourgeoisie
Joined
Mar 4, 2009
Messages
3,900
MBTI Type
INFP
Not knowing what you want out of life at 25 is hardly failure. Give yourself a break. You have time.
 

Betty Blue

Let me count the ways
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Jan 19, 2010
Messages
5,063
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ENFP
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7W6
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sp/sx
See: Inner child.
 

xisnotx

Permabanned
Joined
Sep 24, 2010
Messages
2,144
Tell them

I'm doing me. I'm doing me. I'm living life and this is what Imma do till it's over..till it's over..but it's far from over.

Then ask them how their slow death march is working out for them...and thrill them with all the possibilities you still have open to you. No responsibility. No commitments...the world is literally your oyster. Figuratively speaking of course.

It's what I do.
 

Rail Tracer

Freaking Ratchet
Joined
Jun 29, 2010
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sx/so
Poor prpl, as long as you are happy(?,) who needs them?

As a women in her 60's told me (she goes to college like I do,) "20s is a lot of time, I mean, compared to me, you still have quite a bit of time to think about what you want to do."
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
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yupp
Poor prpl, as long as you are happy(?,) who needs them?

As a women in her 60's told me (she goes to college like I do,) "20s is a lot of time, I mean, compared to me, you still have quite a bit of time to think about what you want to do."
I like this woman. I use to want to be a writer and 3 years ago I changed my mind and ever since than I've been searching
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
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i'm 23 and haven't figured it out either. i was really down about it earlier this year but i keep meeting more and more and more people around our ages who are in the same place. and people older than us. and people older than us who have changed life directions multiple times.

i feel like the people who get on our backs about it are the ones who have the problem, not us. why do we have to have it all figured out now? just to suit their cookie cutter model of how life should go? no, thank you. we will dance our lives to our own rhythms.
 

prplchknz

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Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
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yupp
i'm 23 and haven't figured it out either. i was really down about it earlier this year but i keep meeting more and more and more people around our ages who are in the same place. and people older than us. and people older than us who have changed life directions multiple times.

i feel like the people who get on our backs about it are the ones who have the problem, not us. why do we have to have it all figured out now? just to suit their cookie cutter model of how life should go? no, thank you. we will dance our lives to our own rhythms.
:wubbie: I think I like you
 

CrystalViolet

lab rat extraordinaire
Joined
Oct 24, 2008
Messages
2,152
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XNFP
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5w4
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sx/sp
Prp,
33, and still feel like I haven't gotten out of the gate. People are like why haven't you got married, and squeezed a few kids out yet?
Sure, I have a degree, travelled a bit, failed in a business venture....I've had interesting life, but I'm not doing things the way I should.
Never let any one make you feel bad about your life. You are interesting, the way some people will never be following the prescribe WAY. You're cool, in a non- cookie cutter way. They are the best people IMHO.
 

prplchknz

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Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
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yupp
I was getting flack from my 27 yo old brother who has his life figured out, married has a degree going to start a vineyard. good for him, but it's like dude! I'm not you. planning to start a family in the next 6 years ect. the only goal i have is to make it to australia and new zealand in the next 5 years and all I know is I want to travel the world. How I earn money to do that, I don't have a clue
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
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:wubbie: I think I like you

:hug:

i'm glad we're alike. i am tired of people who have their whole lives planned out. i think we're more interesting, anyway. more room for possibility :)

things can change so quickly too... last spring i was single. now i am thinking i am in a relationship with someone i might just maybe be with for the rest of my life. and that scares my Pness.

why do we want to have our lives figured out anyway...? too confining...
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
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yupp
:hug:

i'm glad we're alike. i am tired of people who have their whole lives planned out. i think we're more interesting, anyway. more room for possibility :)

things can change so quickly too... last spring i was single. now i am thinking i am in a relationship with someone i might just maybe be with for the rest of my life. and that scares my Pness.

why do we want to have our lives figured out anyway...? too confining...

that's how I feel. I've always rolled with the punches but brother is like you can't be successful if you don't have goals and plan plan plan plan. I suspect he's an ENTJ or ESTJ I'm Bad at typing people
 

Rail Tracer

Freaking Ratchet
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Jun 29, 2010
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sx/so
I like this woman. I use to want to be a writer and 3 years ago I changed my mind and ever since than I've been searching

I'm sort of on the same boat as you, though I still don't even know what I want to do. Been trying different things to see what fits. I mean, excuse me that some people already know what they want to do since birth, right?

But basically, unlike the people in their 40s and 50s, we have quite a lot of time. But, if you are ok the way you are, I don't see how that constitutes as a failure. Doing what you want to do will come.

[MENTION=10496]skylights[/MENTION] I'm a year younger than you.
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
25 still no direction no degree and people being like well what have you been doing. Fine I'm a failure but do people have to point it out?

Fi says: listen to me first and others second.
 

Stanton Moore

morose bourgeoisie
Joined
Mar 4, 2009
Messages
3,900
MBTI Type
INFP
True story:
I used to play music with a keyboard player from NJ. He decided to change his life and drove across country to do so. He had no destination in mind. He ended up working as a janitor at the University of Montana in Missoula. He got two masters degrees there. Now he is a tenured professor and the director of the Media Arts program.
he did all of this in his mid-40s!
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
True story:
I used to play music with a keyboard player from NJ. He decided to change his life and drove across country to do so. He had no destination in mind. He ended up working as a janitor at the University of Montana in Missoula. He got two masters degrees there. Now he is a tenured professor and the director of the Media Arts program.
he did all of this in his mid-40s!

that's pretty awesome
 

miss fortune

not to be trusted
Joined
Oct 4, 2007
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I'm 28 and apparently appear to have my life together from the outside- have a job, have been with the same guy for almost 4 years, have a house... all the trappings of being an adult... and I'm completely lost :shrug:

can't judge people from the outside I guess :laugh:
 
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