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  1. #11
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    c) Prove them wrong in a smartass style .

    Heh. Let's see...for the most part I:
    State I agree with the points I didn't mention, if it is the case.
    Quote opinions I agree with.
    Don't bother correcting dumb/stubborn people (so, if I'm correcting you, it's a good sign...if I just , I probably don't think you can be saved).
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


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  2. #12
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    d. make a lewd joke and smirk

    bonus points for tying the reference into the discussion being made while not actually taking any side... more bonus points for deliberately twisting Freud's theory as well
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  3. #13
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    I am type B IRL. On forums I am not looking for social harmony as much as ideas. If those ideas are presented in a non combative learning fashion - awesome. THis is the sweet, sweet nectar that allows a pure exchange of ideas without as much social reserve and hangup. Though common sense tells us that small obstacles can get in the way of more important concepts (see infuriating intp-intj debates) I generally attempt to remain honest while open and polite.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  4. #14
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    When someone picks one particular thing they disagree with, it means that they agree with rest or see that you are close enough to the truth with that other stuff that it would be just useless nit picking.
    I tend to leave alone aspects of the discussion that could get muddled, and pick a point that is more clear to debate. If I think the point of disagreement is going to end up emotional or personal, I'll leave those alone regardless of whether or not I agree.

    Also, if I look back at the point I made that is disagreed with and I can see it could push a button, I don't continue it because I would rather start it again more simply. I'll also generally leave points alone at least for a while if I disagree strongly as much as if I agree to be sure I have time to think it through and then sometimes I forget about the thread.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  5. #15
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    Slightly more B than A. I will see details I don't agree with but I don't think I make a habit out of pointing out every little thing I don't agree with. If its some more important detail that affects the integrity of the whole, I will point it out.
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  6. #16
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    I'm generally more B than A, although I'm unsure that social harmony is my motivation. Maybe it is, dunno. If I sense the other person is actually open to a differing viewpoint, I'll more likely state my opinion or say I disagree or whatever. If I sense the other person is incredibly rigid and it's utterly pointless/futile for me to offer a different viewpoint, I simply won't bother. It's really what is or is not worth the effort for me, honestly. Is there or is there not a point?

    I also typically won't point out little details, if they aren't an 'important' detail that the entire story/view hinges upon. If the detail is incorrect but doesn't make or break the overall theme, I won't point it out. I'll often note it internally, but there's no need to point it out imo, if the person is totally on-track as far as everything else and the conclusion being drawn. But if the detail is something that the other person is totally leaning on as a main element to their conclusion/logic/etc, then I'll be more likely to point it out.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  7. #17
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    Cool stuff, good viewpoints.

    I think I've tended not to recognize the implicit (potential) message of "I agree with everything you said, except for ___" that comes along with pointing out where one disagrees. That's my own bias, and this is helping me get past it.

  8. #18
    Senior Member wildflower's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SuchIrony View Post
    Slightly more B than A. I will see details I don't agree with but I don't think I make a habit out of pointing out every little thing I don't agree with. If its some more important detail that affects the integrity of the whole, I will point it out.
    i think i pretty much do this but i would consider it more a than b, lol. er, i just did it.

  9. #19
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bologna View Post
    (b) try to look for a common understanding with others' points of view--not just with me, but with most people.
    I always hope to find at least some point of agreement. Even though that looks like it is creating harmony, it actually helps remove ego and self investment from the discussion and focus on ideas instead. When it is noted that there are areas of agreement, then it helps avoid the dismissive mode that just creates several brick walls and dead ends for discussion.

    My ideal discussions are ones in which it is alright to admit my own errors. If too much ego investment drives the debate, then to admit a flaw becomes this extreme social faux pas for anyone which halts intellectual progress. Once people are at ease and not focused soley on defending their own legitimacy, then idea space opens up and a real discussion can begin.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  10. #20
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    fia said it. I want to feel free to admit my own errors and shortcomings without feeling like a huge jackass or something.

    --
    I've figured something else out.

    When someone tears apart details in my statements and doesn't lead in with an "I agree, but", I can't even figure out if they and I have the same fundamental axioms or basis for discussion, and I often don't want to discuss what I perceive as useless tangents.

    The point that I'm trying to make is the thing that I'm trying to say, and often I don't care about the rest--it's often just needless fluff or metaphors to help support that point. From my point of view, addressing one stupid metaphor or one word choice isn't addressing what I've said at all.

    I often find myself trying to be as clear as concise as possible so that something I say isn't needlessly picked apart and my major point isn't left unaddressed, because that point is the thing that I want to put out there and learn about.

    I don't mind minor corrections here and there, but to base an entire discussion on them? No thanks.

    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    more bonus points for deliberately twisting Freud's theory as well
    Wait, this too. The extent to which people take it so seriously that they're blue in the face about it.. oh man..

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