things do get better... right?

[prplchknz]

it hasn't yet for me, but at the some time it could get a lot worse.

 

[ygolo]

it hasn't yet for me, but at the some time it could get a lot worse.

Keep going prpl. It does get better.

I joined this site after a break up with my fiance (about the same time as you, whatever). I think my first post was something like "I am a sorry excuse for a human being, but I can sill post on the internet :Hi:" I was depressed for a long time, and a lot of that is documented on this site. There was even a time when suicidal ideation was quite common for me.

I still feel like my mood gets the better of me quite often, and I spend an amazing amount of time sleeping. But things are definitely better than they were. I am much more clear on what I want, and who I am now, and I am making changes to better align with what I have learned.

 

[SingSmileShine]

Honey, I'm having not-the-best-Christmas and you just brightened it up by being so genuine. You are a wonderful human being, and I admire you so much! You've got so much character and depth - that is what hardships do to us. They make us stronger, more "evolved" (as my mama puts it) people.

You are very right - everything, everything gets better. You just have to remember that. And you definitely seem to be! Nothing will get you through it like believing that. Enjoy the moment - find something you're grateful for, make a decision to just go shopping or hang out with a friend or see a funny movie. Enjoy the day. When things are at their worst, you know what I tend to do, even when I can't find something at the moment to enjoy? I tend to find something to look forward to. For example, I had a really rough few weeks, so what kept me smiling and bright was the thought of Christmas. Now that Christmas is over, and I didn't exactly have the best holiday, I'm looking forward to the next thing. And that's what I'm doing until my stress and anxiety blow over enough for me to enjoy living, and not anticipating.

You truly are an amazing human being, and I look up to you for surviving. You're not only a survivor, but you're a liver. As in, you live. You're not a liver like in someone's body. That wouldn't be good if you were the kind of liver that's in someone's system.

Lots of love and have a very happy holiday season!

(P.S. When all else fails, just watch this.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMmjSE_d6J0

 

[miss fortune]

as a funny note on this thread, we were driving to the man's grandfather's house yesterday for the third of the many christmas celebrations that we attended when, for a few minutes, I felt this strong feeling of "I WANT to live"... it was strange... it was a lovely sunny day and I really just wanted to get back to LIVING, which is something that I really haven't done in years I guess. It's like I have gone through the motions of becoming a grown up and have forgotten to actually live my life along the way... or like I've forgotten to actually take care of my own living because I've either been drowning it or trying to make up for having done so by living for everyone else. what the fuck?!

I've decided to take some time out and go hiking tomorrow, even if it's just for a little bit... going back to finding myself bit by bit and day by day

thank you to those of you who have posted in this thread and the best of luck to you... it sucks, but things really do turn around

 

[FDG]

as a funny note on this thread, we were driving to the man's grandfather's house yesterday for the third of the many christmas celebrations that we attended when, for a few minutes, I felt this strong feeling of "I WANT to live"... it was strange... it was a lovely sunny day and I really just wanted to get back to LIVING, which is something that I really haven't done in years I guess. It's like I have gone through the motions of becoming a grown up and have forgotten to actually live my life along the way... or like I've forgotten to actually take care of my own living because I've either been drowning it or trying to make up for having done so by living for everyone else. what the fuck?!

I've decided to take some time out and go hiking tomorrow, even if it's just for a little bit... going back to finding myself bit by bit and day by day

thank you to those of you who have posted in this thread and the best of luck to you... it sucks, but things really do turn around

Take more (short) vacations! As a fellow 7, I know what you mean - I was beginning to feel that way by the end of my master's

Anyway, your OP was really moving, it radiated sincerity and openness. If you're wondering if you're doing something out of other's expectation, chances are IMHO that you are not overdoing it.

As a final note, comparing my own life with all these stories always make me feel too normal and goody-good, so tonight maybe I want to get drunk, lol

 

[Giggly]

I love the movie Jerry Maguire. I especially love the clips of Dicky Fox.

Finding things you're passionate about in life (things that are nondestructive) is good.

[YOUTUBE="Ax4qZN1ta8Q"].[/YOUTUBE]

 

[Sparrow]

Things really do get better if you really want it to be better!!! Life is what you make it right . Im sorry to hear about the drama you have dealt with...I can totally relate. I have had my fair share of abusing drugs to escape, it works only temporarily and only makes life even more hellish. Its so not worth it. I'm glad that you are doing better and are being positive !! BIG HUGE HUGS!!!!

 

[INTP]

They do if you are true to yourself and willing to learn and develop

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

Why would't they? Find that internal focus. Believe you impact your world, force yourself into the responsibility and prove to yourself that you can overcome.

 

[Flux]

Thanks for posting this it took a lot of honesty and guts to write. I really admire that honesty. Sometimes things get a bit rough and I get impatient for them to get better. So thank you for reminding me how things will get better....you just have to do it step by step.

 

[entropie]

I think that I'll be honest for a bit:

I've been a member of this forum for a little over 4 years now, having joined at the beginning of october in 2007. Today is the 5 year anniversary of my having a rather unpleasant mental breakdown... I refused to speak for a little over a week, barely moved from my chair, didn't sleep- you know, the usual shit. After attempting to overdose on sleeping pills and rum the friend who I had considered a little brother drove me to a therapist who kept me well medicated for a few months. I felt like I was suspended in jello, but that was, at the time, better than what I had been feeling.

For the past 5 years I've been trying to figure out who and what I really AM in the aftermath of that... what pieces are me, what pieces are what I'd hoped to be, what pieces are what other people have wanted me to be? I tried to shut my brain off from it's questions by drinking (thankfully I've never enjoyed any of the illegal drugs that I've tried!), but that wasn't the wisest idea. I quit that and found out that a majority of my friends had been drinking buddies, and most of the others I'd either moved away from or alienated with my own antisocial behavior... not that I've ever been one to have many friends in the first place

I've moved on and done what I'm supposed to by this stage in life- I've got a job, I've got a significant other, I've got a house and I pay bills and at times I wonder if I'm just going through the motions- I LIKE what I have, don't get me wrong on that, but I kind of wonder if I fell into things just out of expectations from others. To avoid disappointing others. I've started talking to my family again on a weekly basis... something that I'd cut out in order to avoid disappointing them- I was enough of a disappointment to myself that I was convinced that they would disown me if they heard anything about my life. I've been desperate, I've done bad things that nobody who is close to me knows about still. I learned that if I stick with my lies they somehow become true.

I've worked on being good lately- trying to make amends with the world, trying to give back to humanity to make up for the things that I've done. I have respect at what I do, I have a wonderful and supportive boyfriend and my family actually seems to like me. I'm still not sure who I am- where I end and the mask begins- for goodness sake, I just randomly picked a type to be on the site

In the end, things do get better though... this is for any of you who are lost- things do turn around... it's slow and you feel like you're muddling through, but you get into the territory of "better" bit by bit

ok... that was icky enough to type that I think I shall take a shower

I figured that your thoughts, which were similiar for me, maybe the moment for people our age, when we somehow grow up or like my gf says it: have a level up. I have achieved a lot for myself as well the past years and still I am questioning myself, by giving me other mbti types and that way hoping to find something to settle with and be happy with. The key motivation from which all this self-search related stuff started for me was me not knowing my place in the World and being unhappy with the person I was (drugs alcohol all massively). And nowadays, about 5 years later, I have achieved everything I was looking for but somehow shaking off that old feeling never seemed to work for me. On the contrary this quest for self for identity was the one thing that fueled my endeavours and kept me from throwing myself in front of a train.

So I am basically now at the first finish line of my life but I havent shaken off the bad feeling that got me here.

For about a year I figured by engaging myself in hobbies that really intrest me, a lot of the energy I had spare (which is a lot) and which I subconciously devoted to the quest of self, now goes into the hobbies and that has been a way to relieve myself. Still I am not sure what to do with the bad feeling.

My conclusion so far is that ignoring it or telling myself that I should be thankful for what I have now is the wrong way. I think that I inherit a certain melancholy which is part of my personality and which I need to attend to at times and which I need to let out at times. For that I so far, one time a year got heavily drunk and lamented over my existance to then on the next day start freshly again having let all those negatives out. I dont know if you suffer from that as well and I actually dont think this is an illness, I rather think that the constant need to question your situation is the one and true thing that lets you grow that lets you level up.

This is the true ability of a dominant perceiver, who will never stagnate, but he will always grow and better himself. Nobody tho, who is not a dom p, does understand that this, your greatest talent, is also your greatest burden of your existance and little to none people as well do understand that every talent in an individualistic society like ours, does always mean paying a price for it; cause an individualistic society needs to operate on a common denominator to function at all and that means that mavericks will have an advantage and a disadvantage at the same time, giving the perspective you look at them.

I wish you the best and can only tell you, if you want to have a beer, you know where to find me.