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Why do people want to drag you down to their incompetence?

Lily flower

New member
Joined
Jun 28, 2010
Messages
930
MBTI Type
INFJ
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When I was in school, there was always this pressure from my peers not to do too well, not to "shine" in any way. Then when I started my first jobs, there was pressure not to work too hard or too well.

Why are people like that? If you don't want to make an effort, why drag down the people who do?
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
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Apr 18, 2010
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27,230
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It takes far less effort than raising themselves up to your level of competence, and the contrast makes them look bad.
 

CzeCze

RETIRED
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Sep 11, 2007
Messages
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GONE
When I was in school, there was always this pressure from my peers not to do too well, not to "shine" in any way. Then when I started my first jobs, there was pressure not to work too hard or too well.

Why are people like that? If you don't want to make an effort, why drag down the people who do?

People are afraid of being failures so they don't try. When they see people around them trying and succeeding it only reminds them that they are too [X, Y, Z] to even try, it reminds them of their fears, and it seems like an affront to them. Also, some people feel entitled and have a chip on their shoulders. They don't want to earn anything, they feel everything is beneath them, and they feel they should be recognized on the spot.

You should surround yourself with positive people. It's not about a fixation on appearances or succeeding but rather having a positive 'can do' attitude and healthy self-esteem and respect for oneself and others.

The thing about misery is that while it loves company, as soon as a miserable person comes into a windfall they are peace the hell out. People are only miserable because they see no other alternatives, not because there is anything inherently enjoyable or beneficial to being miserable.

If you feel negative people are trying to influence you, politely nod and keep on walking. They can only drag you down as much as you let them.
 
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