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So what have you learned about yourself?

VagrantFarce

Active member
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
1,558
So you've been on this site for god-knows how long - what have you learned about yourself in the process?

Personally, I've learned how utterly self-neglecting I've truly been my whole life - on an almost fundamental level. It's incredible how much more comfortable I was withdrawing and hiding than truly asserting my own presence and taking responsibility for my own happiness. That I was content to live with so little for so long is kind of incredible. I might as well have not existed.

I felt so threatened by what people expected of me that I preferred to not even get involved. "God forbid I speak up and make my presence known, who knows what might happen?" That I made things worse with silly excuses (including typology) only exacerbates the incredulity.

While I don't think I'm out of the hole I dug for myself yet, I now feel more able and present and connected than I have in a very long time. And all it took was a bit of belligerence and positive action on my part. :)

What about you guys?
 

Lark

Active member
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
29,569
I've learned a hell of a lot of people project to an insane level, they'll give you a run down on what they consider your type to be without considering why or what is says about them, although the greater lesson has been to not take them seriously.
 

Silveresque

Active member
Joined
Jul 28, 2011
Messages
1,169
I feel like I haven't learned a thing. I know less about myself than when I first started, if that's even possible. Maybe it's that I've eliminated some misconceptions I had about myself without actually learning anything new to replace those. Maybe it's that I'm actually changing a lot so that what used to be true about me is no longer true. It feels like I'm losing my identity. :(

And I still can't figure out my type. I've been changing types over and over again since I came here, and I can't seem to settle. Now I have no idea about my mbti type, and I'm still not entirely sure about my enneatype either.
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
I need to assert myself, not worry too much about what others think of me, things will usually turn out....
 

Inverness

New member
Joined
Jul 14, 2011
Messages
99
MBTI Type
INFJ
Well, I haven't been here long in comparison to most. But I've found it interesting how research into typology has given me another method by which I can see the puzzle pieces of myself and others fall into place. But also, I do wish more people more people knew about typology near to the degree expressed here. It saves a good bit of time in reading people and understanding particular limitations (in the most general sense).
 

Mole

Permabanned
Joined
Mar 20, 2008
Messages
20,284
What about you guys?

I have learnt that I am dissociated. I am dissociated into my controlling part and my creative part.

My creative part hates my controlling part and wants to kill him, while my controlling part overrides my creative part.

I have a sad relationship with myself, and I have identified first with my controlling part, then with my creative part.

And now I am starting to hold both in my warm hands, together.
 

xisnotx

Permabanned
Joined
Sep 24, 2010
Messages
2,144
I've learnt that trying to limit yourself to eight functions, and expecting yourself to be happy as a result, is borderline insane.
I've also learnt that some of the smartest people I've ever interacted with spend a significant amount of time thinking of themselves.
 

Chloe

New member
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
2,196
I've learnt that trying to limit yourself to eight functions, and expecting yourself to be happy as a result, is borderline insane.

:thumbup::thumbup::worthy:

I learned from this site that "analysis paralysis" because I frankly dont think people progress more than they regress by talking about MBTI too much. :dry: And I learned that they become adictive to analysing so they dont even notice that is not beneficial. I learned I should avoid that completely. :)
 

Viridian

New member
Joined
Dec 30, 2010
Messages
3,036
MBTI Type
IsFJ
I've learned that I seem to be a lot more affectionate than I formerly believed myself to be, for one...
 

SilkRoad

Lay the coin on my tongue
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
3,932
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I have a better understanding of why there are so many different communication problems between different types - and just different PEOPLE - because everyone can see things so differently.

I've understood that at different times and in different circumstances I can be either too unselfish, or too unforgiving. I'm working on being a bit more selfish. It's going reasonably well. I'm not sure about the unforgiving part. I don't really want to relax that (although in a way I feel I should), because when I have sometimes tried to be forgiving against my better judgment it's resulted in worse hurt.

I've realised that I'm terrified of getting hurt.

I've realised that there are people who think/feel more like me than I would ever have believed possible. I've also realised that INFJs are indeed unique and unusual people, but that it's not all good. (It's not all bad, either).
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Great thread. :solidarity:

I'm going to answer this as "What have you learned about yourself from the forum" instead of "What have you learned about yourself through MBTI", because I have a hard time separating my MBTI-related personal growth from my overall growth as a person since I joined, because I discovered it when I was a rising high school senior and now I'm a college junior. A lot has happened in my life, you know? And I don't know how different a person I would have been if I never knew about the MBTI.

I think, since I joined this forum, I've discovered that I'm wiser than I thought. I didn't know before because I wasn't very good at articulating my deepest thoughts and values, but I've gotten very good at that since I joined -- and I think that easy expression of my Fi is why some people on the forum suspect that I could be ENFP. The way that I post -- i.e. stream-of-consciousness with a minimum amount of proofreading and then posting immediately -- is very similar to how I might talk in real life (and it's why I'm not all that eloquent on the forum!), which means that any skill I've gained at self-expression, through this forum, has carried over into my everyday life. Also, the degree of "thinking out loud" that I've done in this process -- especially on the "Ask an ESTJ" thread -- has really allowed me to figure out what my neuroses really are, how I operate, etc. And all the debates on this forum have helped me realize that I always need to pick my battles, and sometimes I just have to let go and let crazy people continue to be crazy. (I'm still learning this lesson btw...)

I've learned, through my friendships on the forum, that I'm nicer than I think I am. I thought initially that it was just because they "don't know me well enough" to see me in douchebag mode, but then I realized that all the conflict resolution/moderation/avoidance that I do on the forum, I often do in real life as well. (The difference is that I open up to people quicker here because there's no awkwardness.) Because I was such a domineering, obnoxious, and arrogant person up until maybe junior year of high school, I've been actively trying to be a nicer, more level-headed, less hot-tempered, more reasonable, and less irritating person, and the forum has shown me that my efforts are succeeding so far. Obviously it's an ongoing process -- isn't all personal development ongoing? We're all striving to be better -- but it's good to know that I'm, at the very least, on the right track.
 

King sns

New member
Joined
Nov 4, 2008
Messages
6,714
MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
This is a good thread, and I don't know where to start.

I've learned that the hard shell that I developed in teen-hood was good for some things, but it isn't going to work forever.

What people think of you is so varied that it doesn't have any weight, unless you've known them for years and years. The "shortnsweet" experts if you will- and some of them know more about me than I know about myself. And of course, I am the ultimate expert. (Applies to others as well- what I think of them doesn't matter.)

I need a lot of alone time (to think/ absorb things) to be happy. (I found this out indirectly- this site makes me evaluate my own habits outside of the site too- I guess that's one benefit of this site- more self analysis.)

I thought I was more present moment, but I'm actually quite distracted, thinking of three or four things at once. I'm a bit bewildered and daydreamy a lot of the time.

Speaking of that, I think and over analyze too much.

I'm very sensitive. (Again, indirectly, that was an epiphany one day.)

How I act under stress and how to combat it.

The terrible things that I want to suppress are kind of a package deal with my best qualities, (which will be suppressed as well if I don't acknowledge the whole thing.) And they aren't as terrible as I was making them out to be.

Nobody is more important than the other, and we all fight our own battles. (The site helped internalize it.)

These are the general things that pop into mind first.

Other random adjectives that pop into mind: (Most I would have said walking in here, but have a better understanding of how they all work together now.)

creative, tired, short attention span, lazy, smart, haphazard, procrastinator, short temper, perceptive, charming, individualist, empathic, moody, dreamer, broken, selfish, independent, funny, and lucky.
 

Synapse

New member
Joined
Dec 29, 2007
Messages
3,359
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4
I have sampled the vista of exquisite energy signatures that visit this forum and in that sharing of energy I have seen a glimpse into the lives and lives of mighty extraordinary individuals who are on their way to their individuation process as we know it. ;)

I'm pretty sure I learned something somewhere somehow about myself too.
 

Lightyear

New member
Joined
Jul 3, 2008
Messages
899
By talking to people via PM on this site I have learnt so much about different lives, experiences and backgrounds. I have also met two amazing individuals in person because of this site.

I have learnt that though I like to analyze even I think there can be too much navel-gazing going on, go out into the world and experience life people, instead of overthinking things and rolling over the same stone again and again!

I have realised that I get on remarkably well with types that are quite different from me (for example ESTPs) but sometimes find people of my own type or similar types exhausting (I really don't like the apocalyptic "Woe is me!" attitude in some INFxs)

I have started to truly understand how different people are and I admire the talents that I don't possess (For example I am generally unaware of my environment so well-developed Se is like magic to me, a highly sensitive Ninja superpower!)
 

Tamske

Writing...
Joined
Oct 22, 2009
Messages
1,764
MBTI Type
ENTP
I've recognized my weakness of procrastination (not only on boring work, but on projects as well) as being part of my Perceiver preference; and I learnt that my improvising ability/flexibility is the shining side of the same coin.
"Ps need external pressure to be productive" - I've tried out external pressure and it works very well. I've learnt to ask for external pressure, just by telling hubby "I want to get this ready by then."
I've learnt that staring at a blank piece of paper is the best way to kill my Ne-driven imagination, and going out for a walk, do boring manual work,... is the best way to revive it. I've learnt to steer it a little bit, such that it generates ideas about the current novel instead of all new stories.
In short, I stepped up my production rate of finished novels. If I ever become a real writer, it'll be thanks to the forum/MBTI.

Edit: and I also learnt what I've wanted to learn when I came to the forum: create different, cool, realistic characters for my novels. What Lightyear said: Se superpower!
 

Little_Sticks

New member
Joined
Aug 19, 2009
Messages
1,358
That most of the stuff other people value or rationalize (like the OP) has very little in common with me and my motivations or how I care about things. Maybe I shouldn't post this cause someone will think I'm being an asshole, but it's how I feel most of the time, damit. It's not good or bad, I guess, just uncomfortable sometimes.
 

Mole

Permabanned
Joined
Mar 20, 2008
Messages
20,284
That most of the stuff other people value or rationalize (like the OP) has very little in common with me and my motivations or how I care about things. Maybe I shouldn't post this cause someone will think I'm being an asshole, but it's how I feel most of the time, damit. It's not good or bad, I guess, just uncomfortable sometimes.

Perhaps you would like to belong. Perhaps you would like to find those like yourself to belong to. But instead you find those who are different and this makes you feel uncomfortable.

Is that right?
 

entropie

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
16,767
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
783
I have learnt that instead of always redirecting my opinion to that of others to please them and to be accepted more, I can be actually pride of who I am and my ability to do the right thing so I can look at myself in the mirror in the morning and not be disgusted by what I see.
 

ygolo

My termites win
Joined
Aug 6, 2007
Messages
5,988
I have learned that, for me, giving up on my dreams is tantamount to giving up on myself.
I've learned that I know how to fail gracefully.
I've learned to tap into my curiosity.
I've learned to be more confident in my ability to well in life.
 
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