User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 33

  1. #1
    Senior Member Silveresque's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    1,280

    Default Don't Trust People?

    For those of you who consider yourselves to be suspicious, wary of people, or simply not trusting, what exactly do you mean, and why are you that way? Do you fear people will hurt you or say mean things about you behind your back? Do you believe people have bad intentions or only care about themselves? Or is it something else?

    I'm curious because I can't imagine what it's like to not trust people. In my experience, people generally aren't mean and aren't out to get you. That doesn't mean I leave my purse unattended in public places, that would be stupid. But as long as you look out for yourself and aren't asking for trouble, why should you be suspicious?

  2. #2
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    9,494

    Default

    I trust people to be self serving, including myself. Sometimes this is done in such a way that screws over other people, sometimes not. Until I feel like I have a bead on somebody's motivations, they essentially have a low access level to me. I can have a great time with somebody who will steal a $20 out of my wallet if I'm not looking, I just wouldn't ever let them know where I keep a spare key. There's no reason to assume a random person off the street won't steal $20 out of my wallet.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Silveresque's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    1,280

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    I trust people to be self serving, including myself. Sometimes this is done in such a way that screws over other people, sometimes not. Until I feel like I have a bead on somebody's motivations, they essentially have a low access level to me. I can have a great time with somebody who will steal a $20 out of my wallet if I'm not looking, I just wouldn't ever let them know where I keep a spare key. There's no reason to assume a random person off the street won't steal $20 out of my wallet.
    I kind of relate to that. I wouldn't tell anyone where I keep my spare key, or give out any important information, probably not even to my friends. But it's not that I don't trust them, I just feel like I need to be careful. I assume that most people are good people and wouldn't betray my trust, but I there's a limit to how much trust I'll give out. Does this make me suspicious?

  4. #4
    From the Undertow CuriousFeeling's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    INfJ
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Socionics
    EII
    Posts
    3,456

    Default

    Yeah, I can be quite suspicious and cynical. Due to a couple things... questioning people's intentions, fear of getting hurt and abused by people, and knowing what some people out there are capable of. Trust is something that is earned for me. When someone shows me that their actions and intentions are good, and it is genuine, then I will open up. But in order to survive where I live, especially the closer in proximity to the city you get, you have to keep your wits about you.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Johari/Nohari

    “Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings -- always darker, emptier and simpler.”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche




  5. #5
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    9,494

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by RevlisZero View Post
    I kind of relate to that. I wouldn't tell anyone where I keep my spare key, or give out any important information, probably not even to my friends. But it's not that I don't trust them, I just feel like I need to be careful. I assume that most people are good people and wouldn't betray my trust, but I there's a limit to how much trust I'll give out. Does this make me suspicious?
    Nah.. sensible. I'm suspicious. And the the difference is that you trust people who have treated you well while I don't trust people until I figure out what they are after.

  6. #6
    morose bourgeoisie
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    3,860

    Default

    I generally don't trust people, because they say one thing then do another, don't take responsibility, and generally have selfish motives, etc; It gets tiring for me. I know I expect too much from people, but I can't change that without changing something fundamental in myself, and I'm not willing to do that.

  7. #7
    Junior Member plaminal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    MBTI
    xSFP
    Enneagram
    7?
    Posts
    28

    Default

    I don't trust people, not because I think they're all bad, but because there are a few who are. I'm 57 years old--I've met some of them, and heard stories that I assume are true. However, when I first meet someone, I'm not suspicious, just interested. They can't really do much to me at that stage anyway.

    When I've accidentally left things somewhere, even my wallet, it's always been returned, so I really think there are a large number of people who don't want to hurt anyone even when it would be easy. Still, I have a professionally-monitored security system, and no one but my son knows where my spare key is--not even my brother.

    I wouldn't call this "suspicious" either, just being careful.
    ********* Alphabet soup--trying to find the right four letters **********

  8. #8
    Senior Member Tiger Owl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    584 sx/sp
    Socionics
    ILI Ni
    Posts
    1,084

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by RevlisZero View Post
    For those of you who consider yourselves to be suspicious, wary of people, or simply not trusting, what exactly do you mean, and why are you that way? Do you fear people will hurt you or say mean things about you behind your back? Do you believe people have bad intentions or only care about themselves? Or is it something else?
    NF much?

    Quote Originally Posted by RevlisZero View Post
    I'm curious because I can't imagine what it's like to not trust people. In my experience, people generally aren't mean and aren't out to get you. That doesn't mean I leave my purse unattended in public places, that would be stupid. But as long as you look out for yourself and aren't asking for trouble, why should you be suspicious?
    Because the predators in this world can see, smell, sense this mentality and specifically target those who believe that their security bubble is anything more substantial than a dangerous idea. Bubbles pop when you least expect them too, and if you base your world view on an illusion - how likely are you to be prepared to act appropriately and survive when things get dangerous.
    Selfish suspicious people are realists who see the dangers and keep themselves sheltered from potential risk as a self protective measure.
    Selfless suspicious people are realists who know that if they do not stand up for the naive, no one will. They are your police, your men and women at arms, your parents, neighbors, senior citizens, schoolchildren, etc. who, when the chips are down and someone is being victimized will stand up and stop the aggressor by becoming the aggressor and it is either victory or death.

    Why don't I trust people? Because people are unworthy of trust until it is earned on a case-by-case basis but people are always worth defending whether or not they are known or trusted by the defender.
    INTJ 5w4 sx/sp 584 ILI-Ni

  9. #9
    Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    1w9 sp/sx
    Socionics
    ILI
    Posts
    437

    Default

    I am suspicious of other people, because you can never tell what they're thinking, and they can stab you in the back at any moment. I've heard people talking about me behind my back before: people who don't know me well enough to be justified to do that and even one of my friends who told complete lies about me to someone (because he's a pathetic, insecure idiot). When making deals with someone, I always make them do their end of the bargain first, because I know I'm going to do my part, but there's always a chance that they might not do their's. This may be due to me having social anxiety disorder, making me afraid (and therefore suspicious) of other people. But I don't even trust my friends or family enough to openly discuss my inner thoughts, which is why I came to these forums.

  10. #10
    Senior Member VagrantFarce's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    1,557

    Default

    I had trouble trusting people when I was younger, but the truth is that I had trouble trusting myself to deal with things without knowing precisely what would happen. I've had to get over that for me to really loosen up and enjoy myself.
    Hello
    Likes Noon liked this post

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 06-09-2017, 01:54 PM
  2. Why don't people "get" you?
    By Sunshine in forum The Fluff Zone
    Replies: 41
    Last Post: 09-19-2008, 04:25 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO