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  1. #11
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    sometimes i don't let people cut in front of me, but i don't think I'm a selfish person because of it, they usually look like dicks. So yes some amount of selfishness is normal.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  2. #12
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by plaminal View Post
    Does the fact that I stood in the line trying to weigh my need to catch the bus against another person's hurry and how serious her need was, say anything about my personality type?
    Well, I arrive at work early but usually will park farther from the office building because those who arrive later might need to park nearer so that they can clock in on time. Not sure if that tells you anything though
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  3. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by William K View Post
    Well, I arrive at work early but usually will park farther from the office building because those who arrive later might need to park nearer so that they can clock in on time. Not sure if that tells you anything though
    You're sweet. I park where is available. I will go out of my way to help friends and family though. So it would depend if I knew someone that was going to be late.Now, does that say something about my personality?

  4. #14
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    You're sweet. I park where is available. I will go out of my way to help friends and family though. So it would depend if I knew someone that was going to be late.Now, does that say something about my personality?
    That your priority goes Me -> Family/Friends -> Work?
    Unrelated question : I thought Japan's mass transit is so good that you don't need to drive to work
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  5. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by William K View Post
    That your priority goes Me -> Family/Friends -> Work?
    Unrelated question : I thought Japan's mass transit is so good that you don't need to drive to work
    I live in the countryside. Everyone has cars here. I include some workmates in the friend circle. Here is a useful Japanese word, 仲間 :なかま: nakama (n) company; fellow; colleague; associate; comrade; mate; group; circle of friends; partner

  6. #16
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    I include some workmates in the friend circle. Here is a useful Japanese word, 仲間 :なかま: nakama (n) company; fellow; colleague; associate; comrade; mate; group; circle of friends; partner
    Same here. Not all my colleague's are my friends on my FB account.
    To me, nakama will always = fellow member of your kick-ass RPG adventuring team!

    To get back to the thread, I think we need to differentiate between selfishness in the sense of prioritizing self needs ahead of others vs not thinking about other people's needs at all. I remember writing about it before somewhere but I don't remember the thread...

    Edit : Ok, the word I was searching for was self-centered instead of selfish
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  7. #17
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by plaminal View Post
    A separate thing, about Personality Type:

    Does the fact that I stood in the line trying to weigh my need to catch the bus against another person's hurry and how serious her need was, say anything about my personality type?

    Also, does the fact that I was uncertain about the seriousness of her need, but decided to give her uncertain need precedence over my risk of waiting an hour (mild to moderate inconvenience, but not really bad) say anything?

    How about that my first response was, "Of course, you can go in front of me." This may be just common courtesy, even habit. I've never heard anybody say "No" to such a request.
    Sounds like Fe to me, but I am no expert.

    A good analogy about selfishness is what the flight attendants tell airline passengers about emergency oxygen: put your own mask on before helping others. If you pass out, you can't help at all, and instead become a burden.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  8. #18
    Blind Guardian Haven's Avatar
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    Here's a question you can ask yourself when making a decision to help someone out: "Am I being selfless, or am I catering to their selfishness?"

    it's great to want to help people, but if you end up encouraging selfishness in others at a cost to yourself, you're not really helping anyone in the long run.
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  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by plaminal View Post
    A separate thing, about Personality Type:

    Does the fact that I stood in the line trying to weigh my need to catch the bus against another person's hurry and how serious her need was, say anything about my personality type?

    Also, does the fact that I was uncertain about the seriousness of her need, but decided to give her uncertain need precedence over my risk of waiting an hour (mild to moderate inconvenience, but not really bad) say anything?

    How about that my first response was, "Of course, you can go in front of me." This may be just common courtesy, even habit. I've never heard anybody say "No" to such a request.
    balanced giving. you are considerate at the same time careful to not compromise interest as well. if you have no issues with saying NO and you can say no but you see what you can give anyway, I would say that your a good person, decent guy or girl.

    to your question, are you normal??


    well that depends on where you are living. if you are living in a place where people are looking out for number 1, then you might get a few points bumped up into saint hood. should you have managed to keep whats yours and perserve your mind set. you get the added bonus of "integrity" you only get that badge though when you give and no one is watching.

    if you lived in a neighbor hood where everyone gives occasionally like you, then in its normal.



    anyway, you are just under the guy who gives the shirt off his back.
    "I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine. "
    -Bruce Lee

  10. #20
    Senior Member Little_Sticks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by plaminal View Post
    Over the last week or two, I've been taking the various fairly-serious psychological tests I've found here and elsewhere. One question has me wondering; it's something like, "Do you put others first?"

    Well, no, not really; not me. For example, let's say that I've been craving chocolate cake for days. So I finally make myself one, and the frosting has cooled just enough that I can cut it cleanly, and I get myself a knife, a plate, and a fork, and start to sit down and enjoy.
    The doorbell rings. It's a friend or neighbor or family member. She says, "I can only stay for a minute." She sees the cake. She says, "Oohhhhh, I've been craving chocolate cake for days."
    So I get another plate and cut her a big piece, and wrap it for her to take home. Maybe I cut her two big pieces. But I keep enough of that cake to satisfy my craving. I'm DEFINITELY not giving her the whole thing.
    Contrary to popular belief, thinking of your own needs and desires before someone else's isn't selfish. You wouldn't have a will if you didn't do that. It's thinking of your own needs and desires while willfully ignoring someone else's that's selfish.

    Isn't this where the phrase "It's the thought that counts" comes from? Or I don't know, but it sounds good.

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