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  1. #11
    Ruler of the Stars Asterion's Avatar
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    I think this works for some things. Like I hide that I like kind of girly music sometimes:







    But I've slowly been showing other people. Same with the enneagram MBTI, I tend to hide those thoughts, I have shown people I know, and they find it interesting... but I don't want to appear as obsessed as I really am, lol. Anime I hide too sometimes. It's just too fluffy to some people, and I don't want to be associated with it. It's good to be yourself in this sense, if you like something weird, or do something weird you should be open to others as opposed to secretiveness and withdrawing all of your thoughts.

    But if you try to become more yourself, and you're very schizoid, bossy, scattered, obsessive, disciplined or narcissistic... then you're obviously going to find yourself with a problem. You're going to become unbalanced and you develop problems.

    Oh, and sometimes I wear overly formal clothes to uni because I like them, lol. I have a favourite t-shirt, black pants and belt. It looks so flashy . People always ask me why I wear it because it's different than my more comfortable clothing, and they tease me saying that there must be a girl I'm trying to impress lol.
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  2. #12
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Of course I'm always myself. But I believe I understand your question. Your asking about when I deliberately suppress something about myself when dealing with other people.

    I guess that would be most things.

    I keep most of my thoughts to myself. I rarely start conversations and I generally let other people steer conversations because I believe that almost everything I have to say is too technical, too controversial, or too personal to be worth mentioning. I modify my body language because I think people will find it odd or inappropriate. I hide my taste in music especially but to a lesser extent film because I don't see what I'd gain out of mentioning it but I do see it as an opening to be attacked.

    For the record, I don't lie. I say I believe things I don't or pretend to like things I don't. I'm just very inaccessible to people.
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  3. #13
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    I can kinda relate... I don't tell many people IRL that I read manga.

    However, I'm not sure that would mean I'm not being myself... I do have a tendency to be shy and disclose little about my personal interests and opinions when in a not-particularly-healthy state. Does that mean I'm "not being myself"?
    Tentative typing: ISFJ 6w5 or 9w1 (Sp/S[?]).

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    the motto should be "Be yourself, as long as yourself isn't an asshole, weirdo, or creep" or "be yourself, as long as it's exactly how I want you to be"
    that's what they mean when they say "Be yourself" isn't it.
    That's right.
    However, sometimes I don't speak my mind to be accepted. I usually don't even think "ehy I'm not showing who I really am", it's automatic, it's about self-preservation I guess. When someone tells me not to do something, I don't care and I keep doing it. Why? Because I think being yourself means feeling ok, doing whatever crosses your mind. Faking is ok for some time, but it's so stressing!
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  5. #15
    Senior Member VagrantFarce's Avatar
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    I think what's important is to understand just how utterly malleable you really are as a person - you can be anything you want to be, so don't do yourself the disservice of thinking you can't change.
    Hello

  6. #16
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    the motto should be "Be yourself, as long as yourself isn't an asshole, weirdo, or creep" or "be yourself, as long as it's exactly how I want you to be"

    that's what they mean when they say "Be yourself" isn't it.
    Exactly. The same people who say that with a fake smile plastered on their faces are the same people who judge/ostracize anyone who actually does take the advice.
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  7. #17
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Qlip, I'm not even sure of my understanding in that last paragraph of the opening post. If you've honestly changed something about yourself to make life easier, why wouldn't you be yourself?

    As far as being yourself, do it. Otherwise what happens when you hook someone by "fooling" them and then your real self comes out after you've relaxed? Not too many people can maintain a public face forever. How about, say goodbye to the relationship or friendship?

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecTcelfeR View Post
    I truly don't believe you can be anything other than what you are; it isn't creation it is discovery.
    Both.

  9. #19
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    Qlip, I'm not even sure of my understanding in that last paragraph of the opening post. If you've honestly changed something about yourself to make life easier, why wouldn't you be yourself?

    As far as being yourself, do it. Otherwise what happens when you hook someone by "fooling" them and then your real self comes out after you've relaxed? Not too many people can maintain a public face forever. How about, say goodbye to the relationship or friendship?
    I just wanted to hear people's thoughts on how they represented themselves to the world. This wasn't about anything specific, really. Well, actually, I'm in kind of this midlife adolesence, so I can't say my question is totally unattached to anything real.

    My real problem is with people's perceptions. I don't want to fool anybody about who I am, but people seem so quick to judge who you are on a snapshot. I'd like this snapshot to be somewhat accurate.

    I think a lot of people kind of engineered some sort of image for themselves at adolesence, consciously or subconsciously. I was preoccupied at the time and am doing some exploring now.

    As far as my answer. Well, right now I tailor myself to some degree to who I'm interacting with. But I'm more conscious about it now, and make sure not to misrepresent myself. I've got a very wide variety of life experience, it's easy sometimes for people to believe that I am more like them than I am because I share some sort of common experience.

    I don't correct besides-the-point factual inaccuracies with my laid back acquantances or tell them about my robot. I don't lightly share any of my youth mini-hoodlum stories with my straight laced friends, or try to spark up conversations about John Waters films.

    I'm always shy to discuss my insatiable interest in HS romantic comedies, and historical period movies for similar reasons. And clothing wise, I've been actually buying and wearing stuff that I like. Which I believe was responsible for me getting invited to a GLT Halloween party (which I couldn't attend). I suppose that can be considered validation or failure for just being yourself, depending on how to look at it. I haven't figured it out yet.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    I think the proverbial "be yourself" is intimately connected to the proverbial "know thyself".

    So it's not even about the image one has of oneself. Definitely not about the clothes your wear or your interests....but about being able to throw aways stupid labels like "I'm sexy, I'm cool, I"m a leader,I'm a failure,I'm geek,I'm a jock,I'm a self-made man, I'm a bum etc" and just BE beyond labels and boxes and other people's interpretation and our own interpretations of who we are.

    It's also about being a dick, if that's how you really feel inside, or being a loving person if that's how you feel inside. It's about non-judging and not taking façades too seriously and also about facing your inner demons. Being able to admit your afraid when you are, being able to admit your biggest faults.

    It's really all about transparency without the heavy layer of dramatic "i'm gonna show the world who I really am now!!!". It's not about being special. It's about being who you are without labeling everything as either good or bad.

    At least that's my take on it. It's not about personal pride or about feeling ashamed. It's about being who you are rather than interpreting who you are.

    For me a good example of a situation that can clarify this issue is about people coming out of the closet and admitting they are gay. For some people this means a period of gay pride, and going to gay things, and identifying with gay causes and dressing differently etc etc. But at the end of the day gay is nothing to be proud of, or ashamed. Being gay is nothing something you need to DO. You either are or aren't. The same can be said for anything else. Being gay is not wearing this or that or being like this or like that. It's what's beyond the social labels, pro or against.

    Our society is SO obsessed with image and style over substance it's fucking ridiculous. Who you are doesn't need to be communicated all the time. Actions speak louder than words, so just be. Obviously that takes guts, but that's what the expression "be yourself" is calling us to do, imo.

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