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  1. #41
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    It is just as important for the patient to be committed and open-minded as it is the therapist. More-so infact. We each hold the key to ourselves.. but a good therapist will know which locks they go in and how to open them when the key breaks off.
    There were a number of excellent comments in your post, but this last line struck me in particular. If a person goes to a counselor expecting them to "fix" the problem then they will be disappointed. Counseling is about fixing your own problems, but having someone who listens carefully enough to be able to help you hear yourself. We are not always conscious of how much we don't listen to our own selves or how much it is possible for a human being to settle into a state of cognitive dissonance filled with contradictions. The counselor helps increase an awareness of what you feel by showing you ways to identify emotional cues early on, they can give you strategies for regulating emotions, they can point out your contradictions and circular reasoning, etc.

    I do think it is possible for someone to be a "bad" counselor as has been described in some examples in this thread. It is actually bad if they do not have respect in the treatment of their client, or if they impose their own values rather than understanding the complexities of their client's individuality, personal relationships, culture, etc. Also, it is a bad counselor who violates the ethics of their profession by taking advantage of people in a vulnerable state, and that has happened as well. But a person is not a bad counselor if the client refuses to explore their own issues or refuses to grow or make use of the opportunity they have been given.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  2. #42
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I was wondering why you'd even need a degree for biblical counseling but I'm thinking the degree makes them seem more credible to someone religious who is seeking counseling.
    Pastors are considered qualified to do Biblical counseling. I think there is a whole range of approaches that fall under religious based counseling with some being based on the same or similar ethics to the profession as a whole. It is worth noting that this idea of not imposing values would also apply to an atheist/agnostic counselor not changing their client's values regarding religion.

    The ideal way for a religiously influenced counseling practice to work is if the therapist and client have the same value system so that there is no coercion or imposing of values on a psychologically vulnerable person. There is also Buddhist influenced counseling that by nature is more neutral, but could still be imposed. There is something of the idea that the client will seek out a counselor with similar values. I think the biggest difference between church-worker counseling and professional Christian or other religious-based counseling is that the basic ethics of the profession are more strongly enforced and the counselor has studied more psychological theories and strategies for dealing with issues. Confidentiality is a huge area of ethics that the non-professional church-worker counselor is not bound by, but a licensed religious counselor cannot practice without abiding by. Trust is formed differently - for the church worker it is a personally evaluated trust, and for the licensed religious counselor there is professional trust.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  3. #43
    morose bourgeoisie
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    I think Carl Rogers had it right. He found that methodologies were less effective than empathetic listening and support, with some challenging of ideas, as needed to keep self exploration going.
    Alice Miller stopped performing traditional psychotherapy, because she found the same thing to be true. She called an empathetic listener the enlightened witness. They both surmised, from years of practice, that humans want to change, and will often resolve their own problems if given this kind of empathetic support from someone, not necessarily a therapist.

    You can read about this in: ‘On becoming a person’ by Carl Rogers, and the Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller

  4. #44
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    Its the other way around

    Empathy is feeling what other person is feeling, sympathy is feeling bad because other is feeling bad/understanding what the other is feeling and having compassion because of those
    I've had this discussion many times on Central and every time I have been shown to be right. Do I have to do it all again or would you be prepared to go away and do a little research yourself. Do it for me, don't think of yourself, don't think of winning the argument. Be a good fellow and do the research.

  5. #45
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    I've had this discussion many times on Central and every time I have been shown to be right. Do I have to do it all again or would you be prepared to go away and do a little research yourself. Do it for me, don't think of yourself, don't think of winning the argument. Be a good fellow and do the research.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sympathy

    Empathy is about you mirror cells activating and you getting the same feelings because of that than the person you are perceiving.

    You do the research if wiki of sympathy isnt enough
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

    Read

  6. #46
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    Smile The Inner Therapist

    Of course the most important therapist is the therapist we internalise.

    The most important therapist is our inner therapist.

    And for most of us, before we can internalise our therapist, we need to meet a good therapist in the outer world. And it is only then we can internalise them, and have our own inner therapist.

    So creating our own inner therapist is a way of growing up.

    Patients need an external therapist in the same way children need their parents. But a grown up carries their therapist internally, all the time, in every situation, ready to listen, ready to be there for us.

  7. #47
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    Both sympathy and empathy come from the Ancient Greek. And sympathy means to feel the same as, whlie empathy means knowing what the other feels but without feeling it yourself.
    Whenever I've spoken to my friend about problems and see her deal with other people who have problems, she shows sympathy but not empathy.

  8. #48
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Smile Tea and Sympathy

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Whenever I've spoken to my friend about problems and see her deal with other people who have problems, she shows sympathy but not empathy.
    One of my favourite movies is, "Tea and Sympathy", with Deborah Kerr, just click on -

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zluIH...eature=related

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