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  1. #21
    Senior Member ICUP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    Hey Jiggly,

    Statistically, they say that the best predictor of therapy is a therapist's empathy, nothing else. I haven't read those studies, but it's a popular statistic they teach you in psych grad school.

    I think different styles work for different people depending on their background, how they think, and what they need. That applies for both therapists and patients.

    Personally, I've had a bunch of experience counseling friends and I've decided that people benefit most not from getting answers or creating plans, but from creating a genuine connection to another person. I think most dysfunction comes from people not being settled, mentally and emotionally, and I think bonding helps them do this.
    Yep. I say that I never would've recovered without my relationship, without trusting and bonding with another. Alot of my dysfunction stemmed from being unable to trust my family from an early age, on. In fact, I was never able to trust anyone in my life until my current S.O. Took me 32 years to find a way out. Also, I needed someone who provided consistency and stability; the environment I never had, and therefore, I was unable to develop. I needed someone who set boundaries for growth and stuck to them. My situation was such that I never had a safe environment to grow within. When I finally got one, I was able to move on and develop.
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  2. #22
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    I tried several therapies. Like, practically any. Paid much money etc. They were usually empathic, very..famous and well respected... but we didnt even 'touch' core issues! when i look back at it now. Then one random thing i found by accident made 100x MORE change in 1 hour of audio self-help programme, than 50 hours of therapy. Go figure. I have a friend who really had tough past, a lot of sexual abuse etc., and she tried many therapies, without help, I gave her that audio programme, and she said that she experienced freedom, that it was the first thing that works for her, too.

    Here it is, The Thing. Mod Note: Torrent link has been removed.
    Last edited by Patches; 12-07-2011 at 09:57 PM.

  3. #23
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    She shouldnt be anything else than cognitive behavioristic therapist, even for that, she should look at her attitude a bit..
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  4. #24
    A Mystery Jacques Le Paul's Avatar
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    I've had to see more than a few before and I must say. The ones I've seen in my adolescence are better than the ones I've seen when I was younger.
    Always forward, never back!

    "I always love talking to people and hearing their story. People always have a good life story to tell ya know?"



    My blog in regular blogs

  5. #25
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HisGirl View Post
    I had a short session with a woman who seemed like she hated me personally (I've seen two therapists before for my phobias) and this time I just got tested, for a professional-related assessment test. I basically came in to the office and took the test and was given a couple of consultation sessions. There are a number of therapists in that firm, but I was unlucky to get this one.

    She was very judgmental as opposed to empathetic or methodologically understanding. Wow. I was quite baffled. She basically asked me how much I earned as a writer (!) and asked me my employer's salary system and implied I was lazy and unmotivated. I came in with a couple of classmates (in graduate school) and they came out fine. Their therapists helped them figure out what kind of work environment they would fit in best and what kind of work they should do upon graduation. My therapist was almost spiteful with me! She kept putting me down. I was really surprised. Wow!
    Hopefully you filed some complaint about her to the company and some phychology association shes involved
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  6. #26
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    It is best for the therapists to understand their patients and not just rely on tactics they've learned. To conceive their own methods supports their own understanding. I have witnessed some family counselors and as comforting as they are, they can be kind of dull. It is important not to share just optimistic bullcrap or even pessimistic nonsense. But maybe that's only important in psychiatry. However, it is important to acknowledge all the potential emotional variables. I have noticed that some counselors remain blind to some important factors of the patient's mind and fail to see the whole picture. You have to know when to apply particular methods and when to get creative.

    Oh, and also it is very important to be unbias and remain open-minded.
    Last edited by FlatteringlyDerisive; 11-17-2011 at 08:14 AM. Reason: The future calls for it...

  7. #27
    Junior Member ESFP's Avatar
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    Well, I didn't the like the therapist who told what kind of person I should be. However, I think it's not good not to rate the behaviour of a client either. A good therapist should help a person become a better person, like a teacher. Those who are not like that are not very good therapists in my view. In my opinion, a therapist should have strong moral values. Otherwise the clients will abuse the help to go on doing bad things.

  8. #28
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    The Problem and the Solution

    The difference between a good therapist and most of us here is that the good therapist has been trained in empathy, while most of us here are still limited to sympathy.

    Sympathy is natural and intuitive, while empathy needs to be learnt and practised.

    And empathy is uniquely helpful, while sympathy amplifies the problem.

    So sympathy is part of the problem, while empathy is part of the solution.

  9. #29
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    Sympathy is natural and intuitive, while empathy needs to be learnt and practised.
    Its the other way around.
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  10. #30
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    What makes someone a good therapist and what makes someone a bad therapist?

    I imagine there's such a thing as them having different styles and some being good and some bad.

    This came to mind because a friend of mine wants to be a therapist. She has a "tough love" approach to everything and is very blunt. It's like Dr. Phil but without any finesse (do they teach finesse in school?) She says that she's all about making people accountable and that she's not interested in providing long-term therapy for anyone. She said that short-term therapy is what she wants to do because in her words "people will drain you if you let them". I thought this was odd.

    When I think of a therapist, I think of patient, enduring, understanding and helpful. Maybe that's what I think I need if I went to a therapist, but I can see how some people need tough love.
    The Dr. Phil persona is pop psychology. It is drive-through therapy. There are some contexts mostly within the behaviorist school of psychology in which the therapy is short, to the point, and focuses modifying the external behavior of the client. For short-term therapy this approach can be the more effective than trying to dig deeper. It sounds like that most closely matches what your friend is describing although it does have a system of underlying theory that is applied and is not just personal opinion. It is used when there isn't funding for deeper analysis. It is worth mentioning that it is considered unethical in counseling to deliberately impose your own values onto a client because as a vulnerable individual it is wrong to coerce their thinking. This is why various schools of counseling focus on helping the client sort out their own issues. Even back as far as Freudian psychology the therapist was to be a blank slate not communicating any individuality or opinions. This allowed the patient to project their issues onto the therapist as a way of drawing them out. Humanistic psychology focuses on the individual as the expert of their own life needing the therapist as a helper who listens deeply enough, and provides enough unconditional positive regard to create a safe enough environment for the client to exam self on a deeper level to work out their issues.

    Counseling programs may not admit an individual determined to tell others what to do and then move on to the next without any deeper investigation. There is a great deal of risk of harm and that approach is best left to call in radio shows with "Dr. Helper" or whomever.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

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