One of my weak areas is dealing with advice from others, so I'm curious how others see the process of recieving advice from other within themselves.
*** This assumes that the advice was requested by you ***
Person gives me advice.
If there is a conflict with one of my values, I become argumentive or defensive.
(my sense of honor has been the most frequent cause of that)
If there is no value conflict, the following steps occur
I evaluate probable outcome (value)
I evaluate what is needed to enact advice (cost)
I do a cost/benefit analysis and take action (or lack of action) based on that.
The problem I find with myself is that more often than not, what I think will be the probable benefit does not match what the advice giver thinks will be the probable outcome, and I end up ignoring their advice. Another common result is that I feel the advice is sound, but not a good fit for me (if the advice requires extraversion for success for example).
Because this has caused problems for me both recently and in the past, my new approach (if the advice giver is someone I care about, or if I specifically asked for advice and did not challenge the merits of the notion) is to try to follow the advice, but I often end up doing so halfheartedly because I have the preconception that it is a waste of time and I'm just doing it to be more courteous of the feelings of the advice giver (and to void the "well, I told you should have done ____" scenario). Another problem with this, is that it sometimes creates a sense of resentment if I'm doing it to avoid an arguement.