User Tag List

First 123 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 29

  1. #11
    Anew Leaf
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lily flower View Post
    I read in the news once that the "falling in love" stage differs from the "in love for many years" stage only by adding an element of anxiety. In other words, that heady rush where you feel head over heels is a result of good love + anxiety. I suppose if you are absolutely sure the guy likes you then there is no anxiety, and therefore, there is no head over heels feeling. I think also, when anyone shows too much interest, the other person starts to wonder if they could do better. We all want someone that we could get, but not too easily.
    That's interesting... Falling In Love: now with more personality disorders!

    I think there has to be a balance between the two extremes. On one hand part of the fun is that flirty ambiguous stage. On the other, nothing is more aggravating than having someone play games with you.

    In regards to the OP... I've had two extremes. A few times learning a guy liked me did make them seem more attractive... But these were men I already found attractive. Other times if I learned this and I had zero interest, then it caused me to avoid them.

  2. #12
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    3,939

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    In regards to the OP... I've had two extremes. A few times learning a guy liked me did make them seem more attractive... But these were men I already found attractive. Other times if I learned this and I had zero interest, then it caused me to avoid them.
    Exactly - totally agree with this.
    Female
    INFJ
    Enneagram 6w5 sp/sx


    I DOORSLAMMING

  3. #13
    Senior Member Wanderer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    160

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lily flower View Post
    I read in the news once that the "falling in love" stage differs from the "in love for many years" stage only by adding an element of anxiety. In other words, that heady rush where you feel head over heels is a result of good love + anxiety. I suppose if you are absolutely sure the guy likes you then there is no anxiety, and therefore, there is no head over heels feeling. I think also, when anyone shows too much interest, the other person starts to wonder if they could do better. We all want someone that we could get, but not too easily.
    The ending of this post is quite true :| - which is sad, because I always thought love and relationships were based off of honesty, so if you're interested in someone there shouldn't be an issue expressing that.. oh idealism.

    I suppose Hitch's phrase of "if there's no guile and no game, there's no girl" is quite applicable.

    PUA's have it mostly right, unfortunately :P - I think it's just when they use said skills to move from woman to woman that it becomes an issue.

  4. #14
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Wanderer View Post
    The ending of this post is quite true :| - which is sad, because I always thought love and relationships were based off of honesty, so if you're interested in someone there shouldn't be an issue expressing that.. oh idealism.

    I suppose Hitch's phrase of "if there's no guile and no game, there's no girl" is quite applicable.

    PUA's have it mostly right, unfortunately :P - I think it's just when they use said skills to move from woman to woman that it becomes an issue.
    I don't think it's true. It's not true for me and maybe a few other women in this thread. It would be most beneficial to a man to realize that there are women who feel all different types of ways.

  5. #15
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    Yin
    Enneagram
    One sx/sp
    Posts
    13,908

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lily flower View Post
    =We all want someone that we could get, but not too easily.
    I want it to be easy. I want it to be real easy.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


    _________________________________
    INTP. Type 1>6>5. sx/sp.
    Live and let live will just amount to might makes right

  6. #16
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Poriferan View Post
    I want it to be easy. I want it to be real easy.
    Yeah I'm not into having to work real hard to start a relationship either, but I will work hard to keep things good once it's started and established as mutual.

  7. #17
    small potatoes NotOfTwo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    511

    Default

    Too easy = not valued
    "It's never enough." The Cure

  8. #18
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by NotOfTwo View Post
    Too easy = not valued
    I can kind of see this. For some people, things only really start having value and meaning to them when they are sacrificing for it.
    But this is a strange existence to live in, imo, because it seems tied up in their ego and/or boredom. Not to mention some people have already assigned great value to their potential S.O. before they've even found him or her.

  9. #19
    small potatoes NotOfTwo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    511

    Default

    I think I get your point, but I have experienced both sides of "easy come, easy go". (just saying)
    "It's never enough." The Cure

  10. #20
    Senior Member Wanderer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    160

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I don't think it's true. It's not true for me and maybe a few other women in this thread. It would be most beneficial to a man to realize that there are women who feel all different types of ways.
    I think it's entirely possible for there to be exceptions to the rules (I know my sisters are, and I'm super proud of them ^_^) and maybe you and a few other women on this forum are similarly exempt from this (in which case.. why can't there be more of you!?!?) but I think overall, this "alternate interest with disinterest"/"playing hard to get" tactic is used by both genders. Girls do it as often as guys do xD

    It's just another aspect of the games most people play when they're in the dating world.

    Personally? I think it's immature and stupid, and I'm not any good at it.
    But if that's how everyone else is playing the game..

    ..then some of us cross our arms and sit on the sidelines.

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFP] Question for ENFP's and initial attraction
    By thescientist in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 36
    Last Post: 09-15-2009, 10:12 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO