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When people are drunk: in vino veritas, or a load of rubbish?

Randomnity

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Thanks all, interesting so far and I think I more or less agree that it can vary so much dependent on personality etc that being conclusive about it would be hard.

Question: What if someone you really liked and felt close to as a friend got really drunk and told you they hated your guts or something like that? How would you react? How would you approach it after you'd all sobered up? These things do occasionally happen out of the blue.

I'd want to follow up later, for sure. But I'd also consider the possibility that they are like me, though, and hate your guts at that moment and not necessarily any other. This would be particularly applicable if you'd had some kind of minor conflict or whatever that evening. I'd also consider the possibility that they just like saying random stupid words without necessarily meaning anything, since some people are like that.

edit: I just noticed it sounds like I'm saying I hate your guts some moments. :rofl1:
 

Betty Blue

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Oh it varies hugely.
When i used to drink, and it was alwayscopiously (note used to) i could get into this peculiar self destruct mind space where i would say the most awful, embarassing and rude things. This had a devastating affect on my personal life.
I have always been a person on a natural high, add alcohol or drugs and you have a road crash.
 

Randomnity

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It'd be awful if something so random as simultaneously being intoxicated was the origin of a life term relationship.
This sounds pretty silly to me. To me, it'd be awful if you ruled out a potentially amazing life relationship simply because you were both drunk when you met.

I mean, it's one thing if you have to be drunk every time you see each other, but how you meet shouldn't really be an issue after a few sober dates...
 

Lark

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This sounds pretty silly to me. To me, it'd be awful if you ruled out a potentially amazing life relationship simply because you were both drunk when you met.

I mean, it's one thing if you have to be drunk every time you see each other, but how you meet shouldn't really be an issue after a few sober dates...

I think SilkRoad phrased it better but its essentially the same point I'm making as she made. I wouldnt want at some future point to be saying "And if we hadnt both been drunk..."
 

Giggly

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Although I think someone's quite capable of apologizing for something mean they said, that they might have meant but are afraid of the ramifications now if they don't apologize.

Hmmm. So I guess I don't agree.
(Sorry, I started out by thinking I did, lol!)


Ugh. I forget that people sometimes lie and act like cowards like this after they've done something they wanted to do. That sort of cowardice disgusts me so much I almost can't believe it happens. :sick:
 

Randomnity

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I think SilkRoad phrased it better but its essentially the same point I'm making as she made. I wouldnt want at some future point to be saying "And if we hadnt both been drunk..."

I dunno, to me that's not really a big deal and I'd rather be saying that than "I really wish I'd talked to them, maybe we'd be together now..."

I guess everyone is different, though. In the circles I run in, this happens a lot. It'll probably happen less as I get older, but I don't really see it as a huge deal now unless it's a signal for underlying problems , which can definitely be the case.
 

Totenkindly

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Ugh. I forget that people sometimes lie and act like cowards like this after they've done something they wanted to do. That sort of cowardice disgusts me so much I almost can't believe it happens. :sick:

Sigh. Yeah. Unfortunately, it does: People lie, to avoid feeling embarrassed or taking responsibility for their comments. :(
 

Lark

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I dunno, to me that's not really a big deal and I'd rather be saying that than "I really wish I'd talked to them, maybe we'd be together now..."

I guess everyone is different, though. In the circles I run in, this happens a lot. It'll probably happen less as I get older, but I don't really see it as a huge deal now unless it's a signal for underlying problems , which can definitely be the case.

I wonder what the correlates for drunken hook ups and happy marriages is.
 

Giggly

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Thanks all, interesting so far and I think I more or less agree that it can vary so much dependent on personality etc that being conclusive about it would be hard.

Question: What if someone you really liked and felt close to as a friend got really drunk and told you they hated your guts or something like that? How would you react? How would you approach it after you'd all sobered up? These things do occasionally happen out of the blue.

I had that happen to me once. I was completely shocked and got really scared so I stayed away after that. I didn't approach them afterwards but sometime later they came to me apologizing and blamed it on their condition at the time. I felt like I couldn't trust them because the hurtful and scary words just kept ringing in my head, not to mention that I think they meant it, esp. after thinking back and realizing that they were showing little signs of that all along that I just missed.
 

Stanton Moore

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I like alcohol. I have a couple of beers most days. Fortunately, I am a light-weight, and can't drink very much without feeling very bad, so that's a good thing.
I usually have a few before playing music in public, because it settles my nerves a bit, and makes me play more openly. But there is a very fine line between just enough and too much.
 

Redbone

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Basically I think the alcohol removes restraint, so the more someone has repressed or cannot voice when sober, the more likely it will be expressed somehow when drunk.

There's also some impulsivity; I know there's more chance I would physically mess around with someone, no strings attached, when drunk. But that might also be the repression too, since I typically am consciously controlling that and/or downplaying any random attraction.

This is very true for me. I am most aware of suppressing anger more than any other emotion. I've said some intensely ugly things in the past when drunk. I stopped drinking like that when I was in my early 20s. Now the only danger is turning into an ENTP if I've had a couple of drinks.
 

King sns

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I do know that many thoughts are like a war. You can have two opposing thoughts at the same time. Truly believing one thought, while truly believing the other. Constant subconscious decision making processes. The ego, (or whatever word you want to use) may choose the thought that you often wish to follow and present to the world. I wonder if being drunk takes away that inhibition, and perhaps in that moment, you will present the other side of the war.
 
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Glycerine

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I usually know what i am doing and saying but will sometimes let it hang out because I don't care and like letting go of the self-regulation. I get really zoned out, talk a lot and pass out when I am drunk. eNFJ!
 

SRT

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I think drinking just makes it much harder to lie, so I'd say that most of the time what people say when drunk is true, or at least partly true.
 

entropie

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Deep down we're all a bunch of vulcans
 

Magic Poriferan

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The way a person behaves while drunk is very dependent on how they believe they will behave.

A universal rule for drunk people, though. Don't let them excuse anything with their condition.
 

SilkRoad

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The way a person behaves while drunk is very dependent on how they believe they will behave.

This is interesting, what exactly do you mean? Do you mean it's more deliberate than we tend to think?
 

Totenkindly

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Deep down we're all a bunch of vulcans

Are you saying I was not born this way and that in fact my ears were damaged by an encounter at an early age with a Chinese rice picker?

This is very true for me. I am most aware of suppressing anger more than any other emotion. I've said some intensely ugly things in the past when drunk. I stopped drinking like that when I was in my early 20s. Now the only danger is turning into an ENTP if I've had a couple of drinks.

Pe-style people make fun drunks. :)

I honestly don't understand people who get mean when they've been drinking. I tend to view it as at least partly a biochemical effect, I guess.
 
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