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  1. #11
    Senior Member Beargryllz's Avatar
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    I have been known to make outrageous fabrications while shitfaced

  2. #12
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Also, the really ugly side of the "friendships" based around getting together and drinking seems to be that if people were real friends to each other, they would try to stop each other from drinking more when it gets to the stage of being dangerous and ridiculous. But no, that so often doesn't seem to be the case. Ok sure, you can show yourself a "friend" by calling the ambulance when the other person passes out, or helping to get them home. You would have shown yourself a much better "friend", though, if you'd said "hey man, I think we've all had a bit too much. It's time for water now, or I'll go home with you."
    I've definitely seen that, I think it'd be great if people would actually say to one another, this round I'm only having a soft drink, what about you soft drink too, maybe drink a bit again before closing time but for now just skip a round. That used to be how it was when I was socialising when I was much younger, like first times heading out. Instead it seems to be about who can do the most damage now and it really is damage. Mind you I think everyone is so sold on the idea of free will and choice that they're too awkward to figure that questioning poor judgement is wrong or socially a faux pas, a lot of people are even less happy to hear it.

    It'd be awful if something so random as simultaneously being intoxicated was the origin of a life term relationship.

  3. #13
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Wow, ambulance? We must be thinking about rather different levels of drunk-ness...
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  4. #14
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    How you tell is if they apologize the next day. If they apologize, it wasn't true. If they don't apologize, it is true.

  5. #15
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Wow, ambulance? We must be thinking about rather different levels of drunk-ness...
    Yup, ambulance. This actually happened (I wasn't there but heard about it.) Welcome to the UK. Or Sweden in the UK, also not great - the guy was a Swede and definitely an alcoholic.

    Someone else told me about it and kind of took the moral high ground because they were with a group and while the rest of them took off to go to a nightclub (how sad is that?), he hung around and went in the ambulance with the guy to the hospital. Which of course was a good and responsible thing to do, but I think they're all somewhat culpable for not stopping the guy from drinking quite so much in the first place. It's not like someone can drink THAT much without you even noticing.


    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    How you tell is if they apologize the next day. If they apologize, it wasn't true. If they don't apologize, it is true.
    The trouble is, sometimes they don't remember anything. A guy "friend" offered to punch me when he was drunk, because I'd made a joke which had annoyed him. Even at the time I didn't exactly fear for myself physically, but I wasn't remotely amused. When I cast it up to him the next day, he didn't remember. I had to convince him that he'd actually said it. Then he was kind of horrified and profusely apologetic. But people use drunkenness as all kinds of excuses. Sorry, but if you were drunk, it is not an excuse to offer to punch someone, to actually punch someone, to commit murder or rape, or whatever it is. You chose to get drunk, no one forced you.

    I'm glad I don't have many people like this in my circle of acquaintances these days. I did for a few years, and was always caught between feeling left out because they didn't include me much, and feeling uncomfortable when they did include me because they were drunk and I didn't want to be.
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  6. #16
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Well, you must be very, very drunk if you don't remember what you have done the night before. I've been like that only twice in my life, only once kinda badly (the first and last time I vomited). If such a thing happens frequently, it seems to be extremely damaging health-wise.
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  7. #17
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    The trouble is, sometimes they don't remember anything. A guy "friend" offered to punch me when he was drunk, because I'd made a joke which had annoyed him. Even at the time I didn't exactly fear for myself physically, but I wasn't remotely amused. When I cast it up to him the next day, he didn't remember. I had to convince him that he'd actually said it. Then he was kind of horrified and profusely apologetic. But people use drunkenness as all kinds of excuses. Sorry, but if you were drunk, it is not an excuse to offer to punch someone, to actually punch someone, to commit murder or rape, or whatever it is. You chose to get drunk, no one forced you.
    Well, I need to be clear that what I'm referring to is if you should extend someone's stated intentions when they are drunk to their sober state. It's actually a mistake to do that, in general. What I mean is that when they say something or behave in a certain way when drunk, it means they will behave in that way when they are drunk, not necessarily when they are sober. I say this in veritas and I'm sober.

    So in your case, that guy said he'd punch you while he was drunk. whether he'd punch you when he's sober is kind of irrelevant because it's enough that he said he would when he's drunk. Some drunks are more fun and/or tolerable than others.

  8. #18
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I can't say it's ever happened to me. I know it happens though. As you say, I think it would suggest that there are some underlying issues at the very least. Because if they didn't feel like that AT ALL, why would they say it? I think that's what it comes down to.
    Yes, exactly. They wouldn't say it unless it was already in there... or unless they were just being mercurially mean, which means I'd have to be more wary of them.

    I don't want to be self-righteous - I like drinking in moderation, I've occasionally had a bit too much (usually egged on by others, though I take full responsibility), and I wouldn't deny that drinking (in moderation, I contend) can smooth the way a little bit as far as being pleasant and relaxing. But if you "need" it beyond that, or you need it to say certain things, or to feel comfortable around people, you definitely have a problem.
    Yup... good analysis. And that this point, it's really just a crutch for a weakness in character -- no judgment meant, but it's how it is functioning in the psyche. That's why alcohol is sometimes called "liquid courage." The goal is to develop the courage and/or ability to communicate when one is in one's full mental capacity. My father never did that; he's almost 70 and never got past the need for alcohol in order to function. That's disappointing. I do understand why some use it for that, and might need it for awhile, but eventually you have to move forward if you want something deeper and more real.

    Quote Originally Posted by Beargryllz View Post
    I have been known to make outrageous fabrications while shitfaced
    are you shitfaced right now?

    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Wow, ambulance? We must be thinking about rather different levels of drunk-ness...
    I always knew you were a lightweight.

    yeah. I know I've seen some serious boozing -- not me, but people I've been with. The worst was usualy years ago at college, but the last party I was at over the summer (and it was just a small friends party), one girl I didn't know well was drinking covertly while playing drums for Rock Band, and at a later point in the evening simply fell over on the floor, out cold. *headshake* The party wasn't even that wild.

    ANyway, my dad would have died of alcohol poisoning six years ago if we hadn't gotten an ambulance for him, and he ended up being in a coma for two days and in physical therapy for three months after to walk again. So I've seen some serious sh*t too.

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    How you tell is if they apologize the next day. If they apologize, it wasn't true. If they don't apologize, it is true.
    ...Or they forgot they said it.

    Although I think someone's quite capable of apologizing for something mean they said, that they might have meant but are afraid of the ramifications now if they don't apologize.

    Hmmm. So I guess I don't agree.
    (Sorry, I started out by thinking I did, lol!)
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  9. #19
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Well, you must be very, very drunk if you don't remember what you have done the night before. I've been like that only twice in my life, only once kinda badly (the first and last time I vomited). If such a thing happens frequently, it seems to be extremely damaging health-wise.
    It's very common over here, unfortunately. I try not to hang out with those kinds of people these days but you always hear people saying they can't remember what happened the night before. Damaging health-wise and also dangerous, I'd say.

    I had a neighbour who drank a lot and one day he told me he'd woken up by the side of the road, having been hit by a car. He didn't remember anything. No joke. Fortunately he wasn't severely injured. He said it was a wake-up call for him to sober up. However, a few months later my impression was he was back to drinking just as much. He also used to hit on me when drunk.

    I think continental Europeans (except maybe Scandinavians...that's been my experience in London, and I can also say it cause I'm half Scandinavian ) have a more reasonable approach to alcohol, or at least they don't go in for the binge drinking thing so much.
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  10. #20
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Like many of us, I've had people say some unexpected things to me when they were drunk. Someone who's always professed strict platonic feelings for you will tell you how devastatingly attractive they find you; or they'll say something terrible about their group of "best friends"; or something along those lines.

    I am really not sure if people tend to tell the truth more when they are drunk (in vino veritas) or if it's more likely to be meaningless nonsense based, at most, on a passing impulse of the moment. Opinion seems to be divided on this.

    What do you think? People will often use it as an excuse: "oh, I was really drunk," or they'll discount something their friend said because the friend was drunk. On the other hand, apparently you can have amazing moments of epiphany and revelation this way, too...

    Does it really vary from person to person? Does it make some much more likely to say what they really think/feel, and others more likely to say something full of sound and fury, signifying nothing?
    For me, it's "the truth of the moment". It just removes my censor so I'm more likely to say the thought on my mind. This could be a deep truth or it could also be something that I haven't thought out completely, or something that is true in one frame of mind, especially a drunken one, and not necessarily in another situation (like "ohhh I feel X" when it's true at the moment but not necessarily any other time, so it can be misinterpreted).


    (this is kinda like how I imagine extroverts to be all the time, hahaha )

    ps - every relationship I've had has been started under at least some influence of alcohol (not ridiculous amounts necessarily). That's just how it's worked out, haha. It can be a useful tool for the socially anxious, if used carefully.
    -end of thread-

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