What causes people to tell lies?

[xisnotx]

People don't only tell lies, people LIVE lies. It's quite pervasive. Things like self-delusion, fantasy, denial, naivety, ignorance etc etc. Some innocent, some not. This is where a lot of lies come from. I have fallen for it and have been guilty of it myself before.

Why?
If there is good reason, it they use it as a means to achieve their fantasy, if at all possible, then who does it hurt? You group fantasy in with all these negative terms when fantasy is nothing but positive.

 

[Giggly]

Why?
If there is good reason, it they use it as a means to achieve their fantasy, if at all possible, then who does it hurt? You group fantasy in with all these negative terms when fantasy is nothing but positive.

Fantasy is positive but some people don't want to be bothered with that (b/c it can be hurtful if they don't operate that way) and you have to know when to not do that.

 

[entropie]

Fantasy is positive but some people don't want to be bothered with that (b/c it can be hurtful if they don't operate that way) and you have to know when to not do that.

I have witnessed that before and know what you mean. Still if I may ask, what exactly makes it hurtful ? That you are forced to think about something you didnt before ? or that it is overwhelming ?

 

[Giggly]

I have witnessed that before and know what you mean. Still if I may ask, what exactly makes it hurtful ? That you are forced to think about something you didnt before ? or that it is overwhelming ?

Sometimes they don't like thinking about something they hadn't before, they don't see the point in changing things. Sometimes they don't mind thinking about something new but have decided that that something in particular is just not realistic or feasible or just not something that appeals to them.

That said, I find that most people at least have dreams... even if they're deep down inside.

 

[entropie]

Sometimes they don't like thinking about something they hadn't before, they don't see the point in changing things. Sometimes they don't mind thinking about something new but have decided that that something in particular is just not realistic or feasible or just not something that appeals to them.

That said, I find that most people at least have dreams... even if they're deep down inside.

i can respect that

 

[Giggly]

i can respect that

I know it's a killjoy but I think for them it can be disappointing to realize that they'd been lead into a fantasy if they weren't expecting it and especially if it doesn't end up working out.

 

[ICUP]

I think my mother tells lies because she wants things to go her way. If she tells a lie, it might help her situation. It really disgusts me.

 

[xisnotx]

I know it's a killjoy but I think for them it can be disappointing to realize that they'd been lead into a fantasy if they weren't expecting it and especially if it doesn't end up working out.

But..they're your dreams.."not working out" is part of what it means to dream. If dreams were always attainable...then they wouldn't be dreams. It'd be work.

Still...I can understand it. I accept that it isn't my place...to impose. I guess...

 

[Lord Guess]

I think there's a difference between internalizing a dream, and living a life of hypocrisy. On top of that, most people lie to themselves at least a little bit; self-delusion is an inescapable part of the human condition.

 

[Giggly]

I think my mother tells lies because she wants things to go her way. If she tells a lie, it might help her situation. It really disgusts me.

I think 99% of lies are told to benefit the person telling the lie.

But..they're your dreams.."not working out" is part of what it means to dream. If dreams were always attainable...then they wouldn't be dreams. It'd be work.

Still...I can understand it. I accept that it isn't my place...to impose. I guess...

Really? I don't think I see dreams the way you do. I see them as something attainable, even if take a lot of work. Fantasy on the other hand is not attainable. Those are just my definitions. Also keep in mind that there are lots of people who don't mind any of this. I suppose this thread is about those who do mind it.

 

[entropie]

Really? I don't think I see dreams the way you do. I see them as something attainable, even if take a lot of work. Fantasy on the other hand is not attainable. Those are just my definitions. Also keep in mind that there are lots of people who don't mind any of this. I suppose this thread is about those who do mind it.

I agree and I share your attitude.

To me fantasy is a tool to express wisdom and life experience with. People laugh at me when I watch cartoons or startrek and they call me a dreamer.

Fact is, tho entps are thought of to be the biggest childs and imbeciles of them all, we seek in our fantasies, in cartoons, in startrek, our life experience, wisdom and the formula for our own happiness. At the end of the day, entps will be the most hardliner pragmatists and realists you have ever met in your life and people will come to seek our guidance, cause they feel we know something they need to know. this is not achieved because we have been the highschools best-liked guy ever, no this is achieved thru dreaming and our fantasy worlds, which enable us to compare, to analyze and to understand how humanity can live together and what consequences certain actions would have.

In that regards, as a tool, fantasy is a method to teach and a place to escape to.

 

[xisnotx]

I think 99% of lies are told to benefit the person telling the lie.



Really? I don't think I see dreams the way you do. I see them as something attainable, even if take a lot of work. Fantasy on the other hand is not attainable. Those are just my definitions. Also keep in mind that there are lots of people who don't mind any of this. I suppose this thread is about those who do mind it.

I guess I'm just very in tune with just how much work it will take. My dreams are attainable, and will be attained by someone eventually, if not by me, then by people a lot smarter than me, or perhaps just younger. "Not working out" is, I guess, my way of saying "not seeing the full consequences of my efforts". But that's taking a shortsighted view of things.

 

[Giggly]

Stumbled upon this. Thought it was interesting.

"How to spot a liar"
http://www.ted.com/talks/pamela_meyer_how_to_spot_a_liar.html

 

[Viridian]

Stumbled upon this. Thought it was interesting.

"How to spot a liar"
http://www.ted.com/talks/pamela_meyer_how_to_spot_a_liar.html

Interesting... Although lots of commenters seem to think she needs to cite her studies, among other things...

I do think there are ethical issues with this sort of method being used by, say, law enforcement officers to incriminate suspects.

 

[Sizzling Berry]

Thank you [MENTION=10431]Burning Rave[/MENTION] for bringing that up.

I agree with [MENTION=4398]Giggly[/MENTION] - lots of the lies are told to protect the liar (with maybe an exclusion of some extreme cases). So if somebody is saying that they lied for the sake of another person it's very often a double lie. There is a lie to another person and a lie to yourself that you had to lie.

When you find out that somebody lied to you, you rarely feel grateful, well-loved, taken care of or protected. And we claim that this is what we want to achieve when we are lying to somebody.

So everyday lies are little gambles. In a spur of the moment we hope that the other person won't find out and we are going to get what we want from them (and what otherwise they wouldn't be so willing to give) - whether it's their presence, smile, respect, obedience.

But if we are discovered we lose much, much more. There is a Russian song called "Three lies" - the conclusion is that the third lie hurts you more than an enemy during the war. The person we lied to can lose more respect for us than they would originally (if we told the truth).

Hence, it's a gamble.