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  1. #51
    shadow boxer strawberries's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    Artificial sweetener [and I don't mean me].
    i forgive you.

  2. #52
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    If you were, say, abused by a family member as a child, and never got one apology out of it.. and even when confronting them, they brushed it off or made light of it, would you still forgive them? Why? To be a martyr? To think it's your responsibility to be all the good in the world. lol.. I guess if that works, but not everyone gives a shit about being a martyr. Beats me why it's so championed. Like it's the highest ideal or something. There are other options.

  3. #53
    ThatGirl
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    To me the ability to forgive comes from their understanding of the error. To be honest, I don't need people to show remorse, grovel, or admit they were wrong, or even provide an apology. If I see that you successfully understand, and are willing to make the necessary adjustments to avoid the same situation in the future, I am more than willing to forgive, because the issue no longer pertains.

  4. #54
    A window to the soul
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    Quote Originally Posted by strawberries View Post
    i forgive you.

  5. #55
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    To me the ability to forgive comes from their understanding of the error. To be honest, I don't need people to show remorse, grovel, or admit they were wrong, or even provide an apology. If I see that you successfully understand, and are willing to make the necessary adjustments to avoid the same situation in the future, I am more than willing to forgive, because the issue no longer pertains.
    I think that goes without saying. There are all kinds of ways to settle something besides groveling. That's a bit dramatic actually. Heh

    But I just have a problem with forgiving the undeserving, and having platitudes shoved down my throat about the issue.

    Sometimes forgiveness causes more harm than good. I could use a friend's story now (I'll try to spare everyone my own and seem more objective for now). His brother sexually molested him when he was young. Needless to say, he's grown up with a chip on his shoulder. He never did anything about it for various reasons. Fast forward 20 or so years, and this brother now has a daughter who's come out and reported her dad for the same abuses. It's getting serious now. And the sad thing is, it's torn the family apart. My friend is on the daughter's side, and has opened up more about his own experience, but his mom has cut off communication with both him and her granddaughter. She's sticking with her abusive son's side. She probably knows it's wrong, but she's in this state that forgives him and wants others to forgive him too. Else they're the nasty ones.

    Long story short, fuck that. It's twisted. Forgiveness is not necessarily the virtuous thing to do.

  6. #56
    ThatGirl
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    I think that goes without saying. There are all kinds of ways to settle something besides groveling. That's a bit dramatic actually. Heh

    But I just have a problem with forgiving the undeserving, and having platitudes shoved down my throat about the issue.

    Sometimes forgiveness causes more harm than good. I could use a friend's story now (I'll try to spare everyone my own and seem more objective for now). His brother sexually molested him when he was young. Needless to say, he's grown up with a chip on his shoulder. He never did anything about it for various reasons. Fast forward 20 or so years, and this brother now has a daughter who's come out and reported her dad for the same abuses. It's getting serious now. And the sad thing is, it's torn the family apart. My friend is on the daughter's side, and has opened up more about his own experience, but his mom has cut off communication with both him and her granddaughter. She's sticking with her abusive son's side. She probably knows it's wrong, but she's in this state that forgives him and wants others to forgive him too. Else they're the nasty ones.

    Long story short, fuck that. It's twisted. Forgiveness is not necessarily the virtuous thing to do.
    I'd call that denial mixed with responsibility. Not forgiveness.

  7. #57
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    I'd call that denial mixed with responsibility. Not forgiveness.
    Hmm. Maybe.

    Either way, I'm pissed off thinking about it now. I need to stay away from these threads.

  8. #58
    ThatGirl
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    You're pissed off because it is allowed to continue. Fair enough. I don't think you need to stay away from these threads, maybe understand them better.

    There is no tricking the mind to make it feel or think something it doesn't. It is incomplete, and will always revert back to its origin.

  9. #59
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    Hmm. Maybe.

    Either way, I'm pissed off thinking about it now. I need to stay away from these threads.
    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    You're pissed off because it is allowed to continue. Fair enough. I don't think you need to stay away from these threads, maybe understand them better.

    There is no tricking the mind to make it feel or think something it doesn't. It is incomplete, and will always revert back to its origin.
    I forgive both of you ! Ego te absolvo. if some money clinks in the money bag, your soul will jump to heaven !
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  10. #60
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    To me the ability to forgive comes from their understanding of the error. To be honest, I don't need people to show remorse, grovel, or admit they were wrong, or even provide an apology. If I see that you successfully understand, and are willing to make the necessary adjustments to avoid the same situation in the future, I am more than willing to forgive, because the issue no longer pertains.
    You'd go on their word alone? If they are aware of it and making adjustments yet don't apologize....that's ok? I can't even wrap my head around that.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

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