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  1. #11
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Yup!

    Let's say my head is the "My Documents" folder. I went in and selected a document, copied it, then pasted the copy onto the desktop (TypeC). The original copy is still in "My Documents".
    damn fucking straight that's actually sexy. I tho regretfully have to inform you that your bureaucratic mind would attract a lot of german people, tho prolly no normal people. So you maybe better think twice if you dont just name "My Documents" into "EJCC's diary" or so, something to attract the masses
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  2. #12
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    damn fucking straight that's actually sexy. I tho regretfully have to inform you that your bureaucratic mind would attract a lot of german people, tho prolly no normal people. So you maybe better think twice if you dont just name "My Documents" into "EJCC's diary" or so, something to attract the masses
    Leave it to the engineer to think that my Windows OS metaphor is sexy! Of course, I know how you feel about ESTJ women, so there is that too.

    I'm okay attracting Germans. I won't rename "My Documents", though -- I'd like to stay mysterious.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  3. #13
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    wooo yeah, I am sold
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  4. #14
    Senior Member redcheerio's Avatar
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    It takes a lot to make me angry, so that doesn't leave me with much that needs forgiving.

    It probably helps that I'm good at detecting good-hearted people vs people that can't be trusted, so I just put up boundaries around people I don't trust, and that usually does the trick.

    It's usually when I start noticing that someone seems to be deliberately trying to hurt me, over and over again, that I start getting angry. But before I get angry, first I am puzzled, and try being nice to them to see if they'll stop. Then I get frustrated if that doesn't work, and keep questioning myself whether I'm imagining it or not.

    By the time I'm not questioning myself anymore and am completely frustrated with them for being such an asshole to me, without knowing what I did to deserve it, I am seething with anger bordering on hatred.

    This has happened twice in my life now, both in the workplace. Neither of these people has apologized to me. Luckily, I don't have to see either of them anymore. One of them I've pretty much forgotten about, and the other I've gotten to the stage that I can usually think of him without getting angry, but not always.

    I'm pretty sure I would feel a lot better if they acknowledged it and apologized to me, and might even be able to forgive them. They both seem pretty self-righteous, though.

  5. #15
    Ginkgo
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    Forgiveness doesn't typically happen over night if you hold a strong grudge. It's probably something one has to struggle with time and time again; unforgiveness is just as, if not more, suffocating than whatever spited you in the first place.

  6. #16
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    It depends on the situation. If it's minor, then I just move on, no need for an apology or to express forgiveness. Our actions will show that it's a closed matter. This is what happens in 99% of my conflicts with people. Most of the time, there is no one person to blame for anything, so any talk on the matter is seeking a mutual resolution to protect the needs of both people, not one person bestowing forgiveness on the other. Forgiveness in these cases is a sort of closure to a deal stating "we both regret certain past actions & have agreed to act X way in the future for the benefit of both of us".

    If it's a serious issue & I feel I am the wronged party, then I tell the person why I am upset with them (if they don't already know why). I do like to know WHY they did what they did, but the reason doesn't necessarily temper the hurt (excuses can make it worse). Their attitude is what will determine whether I can forgive them or not. If they show no remorse, give no assurance they will not repeat the same mistake (or at least try their best not to), and have no interest in repairing the relationship, then I don't forgive them & the relationship is now severed. If the grievance is repeated to a point where any apologies ring hollow or if the relationship seems past repair, then it may be severed with or without forgiveness or any talk on the matter. That situation is usually dragged out over a period of time; I don't cut people off easily.

    Once a relationship ends, forgiving someone seems sort of moot to me. I just seek to move on & put them out of mind. To me, forgiveness is about building/repairing bridges with people, and there's no point in that if you desire no further connection with them.

    This is generally how I work...there are no hard & fast rules for stuff like this.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  7. #17
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    I don't actually understand the concept of "forgiveness" and how it is suppose to relieve you of some burden, as the forgiver, having never felt burdened to begin with. I feel offended when people tell me that I should forgive and if I don't I'm the one with the problem. They makes it sounds like *I* should take responsibility the whole thing because of an action I don't feel I need to do.

    People always know when I am mad at them or I have an issue with something they have done. It's never a question of them not knowing.
    Eggzackry.

  8. #18

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    Doesn't it go forgive but don't forget? Which I take to mean stop carrying around the emotional burden but remember the event.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    If I remember the event, the feelings come right with it, at least for several years.

  10. #20
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    How is it possible to remember the event but stop carrying the emotional burden then ?
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

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