You're far from the only one. To me, the questions surrounding death are the only ones that have enough merit to be seriously considered. What is it? What will it be like? Why not kill yourself? Why not die? Why not give your life up for a cause? etc etc Call it depression, ocd, or any other mental disorder..I've come to accept that me pondering death is just a fundamental part of who I am.
Ironically, for the most part at least, I don't want to die. I have 60-80 years left on this earth, barring unforeseen circumstances, and I plan on making it the best 60-80 years I possibly can..so that by the time I do die, if there is a sort of "death consciousness", I can at least tell myself that I did what I thought had to be done. This thought is one of the few that gives me some sort of inner peace, at least for a while.