User Tag List

12 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 20

  1. #1
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default High self-esteem

    sometimes I see people with really high self-esteem and they amaze me. Like their self-esteem is so high that they actually seek out people and situations that they think could take them down a peg or two. Seriously, this is attractive and stimulating to them.

    It's also so weird and different from me that I find it intriguing when it's genuine. Like I see how that can potentially keep you from sulking and getting down on yourself too.

    I don't know. I don't fully know what to make of it yet.

  2. #2
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    7w8 sx/so
    Socionics
    SLE
    Posts
    6,927

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    sometimes I see people with really high self-esteem and they amaze me. Like their self-esteem is so high that they actually seek out people and situations that they think could take them down a peg or two. Seriously, this is attractive and stimulating to them.
    Hmmmm. Are you witnessing high self-esteem, or hypomania?
    Or a person with high self-esteem experiencing an episode of hypomania?
    I have no shortage of self-esteem, but I am not a trouble seeking fool either.
    When challenges present themselves, I rise to the occasion, but I do not seek them for the sake of potentially meeting my match.

    I do know that I have a very high sense of what is right and what is wrong, and that when I feel I am in the right, I will not back down, I will stay my course, hell or high water. But in the same breath, I can tell you that while doing so, I will be seeking not only victory, but a the path to it that has the least amount of potential to harm me, because I have no idea what other trials will present themselves at any moment, so I conserve my energy as such.

    Have I ever been in situations where I have literally had to commit to a beating the odds and had to pick one path early on, say "Fuck it, here we go, it's all or nothing!" and had to pull the trigger? Yes. Did I win? Yes, but not without scars. The more bold one must be, the greater the odds are that some damage will be incurred in their course. But, I would take none of it back, as when I have been challenged as such, the stakes were high enough for me to risk incurring some damage, rather than forfeit my own integrity. One thing is for certain, I like to sleep well at night, so if conflict rears its head, I'm game. I'd rather take a beating than not live up to my own standards, personally or professionally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    It's also so weird and different from me that I find it intriguing when it's genuine. Like I see how that can potentially keep you from sulking and getting down on yourself too.
    Interesting!
    Sulking and being down on myself are as intolerable as boredom and hunger to me.
    Seriously, all are just completely against my nature.
    I think having a seriously righteous Father who embraced conflict and fought for what he thought was right his whole life before my eyes influenced me as such.

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I don't know. I don't fully know what to make of it yet.
    Neither do I, I'll let you know when I figure it out, for now it's just how I am programmed, LOL!



    -Alex
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
    "If somebody asks your MBTI type on a first date, run". -Donna Cecilia
    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

  3. #3
    Junior Member cen98's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Socionics
    ENFP
    Posts
    10

    Default

    What sort of situations are you talking about? I like being around people that will challenge me (not rudely or harshly), but add to my personal growth and knowledge. Being taken down a peg or two helps you grow because you see your weaknesses and places you need to improve in and learn in general. It's definitely a process (sometimes painful) and I don't like being around people that expect change overnight, but I like helpful criticism along with support. I think it's good to get out of your comfort zone and understand more about the world as long as you don't make stupid decisions and like Halla said, lose your integrity. That's difficult because it can happen without you realizing it if you get too focused on trying new things and new people, but you learn from it and move on. I don't think anyone has ever accomplished anything by remaining in the same place and doing nothing.

  4. #4
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    I'm not criticizing people who do this. Just stating an observation of something that is foreign to me.

  5. #5
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    enfp
    Enneagram
    8
    Posts
    13,878

    Default

    I had a post written and the computer's crappy internet connection decided to delete it.

    Anyways. Basically what I said was that I think I'm a person with high self esteem.. It always seems so foreign to me when people don't have a comfortable, stable sense of self. It's priority number 1 to me at all times.. As I feel without a sound sense of positive energy about myself, I can't expect to be strong enough to have energy for anything else positive.

    I'm not one to go actively seeking people trying to tear me down though.. It gives me no pleasure to have people try to take me down a notch. At the same time, I don't shy away from any situation or person that I sense may be attempting something like this. I'll meet any challenge head on.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

  6. #6
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    I think I meant self-love, rather than self-esteem. They are closely related but self-love is like when you think you're the best.. self-esteem is when you have self-respect.

  7. #7
    can't handcuff the wind Z Buck McFate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    3,683

    Default

    I think what impresses me most are the people who can stand to be taken down a peg AND seem to have some inherent grasp of when they shouldn’t let it happen. In other words, they aren’t at all afraid of those kinds of situations because they somehow have a good handle on when the other person has crossed some line and wants to take them down a peg for the wrong reasons (vs. the other person having a good point). There are a lot of people who seem to have confidence and aren’t reluctant to enter conflict- but they do it with an imperviousness which almost defeats the purpose: they let insults roll of their back without incident, but any/all insightful feedback rolls off their back as well. They simply dismiss everything which they don’t want to hear. It may look like self-esteem at first, but underneath the surface there’s just as much insecurity as someone who avoids conflict in the first place.

    I’m actually pretty wary of the latter. People tend to attribute intentions to others’ behaviors according to their own intentions- and so people who can easily write off any insult/negative feedback as some kind of pwning attempt/power struggle are likely to be the kind of people who feel entitled to impose their version of reality on others when they feel threatened (instead of stopping to consider what is true and what isn’t- they simply get in a power struggle to be the one who gets to assert ‘what it true’). I mean, if I’ve observed someone for a while and noticed they do this with people- chances are I’ll write off anything they have to say about me (or others) pretty quickly. Because if they tend to interpret all negative feedback as some kind of power-play, they’ll likely react by throwing any insult they can think of in turn when you try to call them on something.

    On the other hand- people who can walk right into conflict AND maintain the ability to consider things they don’t want to hear with aplomb…..there’s no end to how much that impresses me. I think IxFJs are probably the most avoidant about conflict, especially with people we aren’t familiar with, just because our ability to interact fluidly with our external environment isn’t as adept as those rascally ExTPs- who seem to be born with an inherent knack for it. So I think it impresses me so much because- even when IxFJs have done the work of looking honestly at themselves, have a pretty good self-esteem and can handle constructive criticism- we still often struggle with immediate conflict being thrown our way. I can recognize immediately sometimes when someone is simply trying to take me down a notch for the wrong reasons, yet still be unable to react quickly to it- I just duck away, annoyed that someone was trying to involve me in their own issues. And if it really takes me off guard, I might have to spend time afterwards considering reactions I *wish* I’d had ready-at-hand, before I can shake it off. But then in doing that, I’m sort of writing a script, so that I might have more appropriate reactions ready-at-hand in preparation for the next time it happens. I envy ExTPs for not needing to do that, for being able to improvise.
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

    5w4 sx/sp Johari / Nohari

  8. #8
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,301

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I think I meant self-love, rather than self-esteem. They are closely related but self-love is like when you think you're the best.. self-esteem is when you have self-respect.
    Self-esteem is healthy self-respect. Thinking that you're the best is narcissism or conceit. It's more self-congratulation than self-esteem.

    I think the people with the healthiest self-esteem are usually humble enough to admit that they have flaws and don't feel any need to tear down others to make themselves feel better.

    I aspire to have better self-esteem, myself, but I absolutely despise people who are conceited.

  9. #9
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    18,529
    C'mon, the State of California has a Commission for Self Esteem.

    However Self Esteem is what others think of you, while self respect is what you think of yourself.

    So Self Esteem is a form of social control, while self respect gives us our dignity.

  10. #10
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,301

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    C'mon, the State of California has a Commission for Self Esteem.

    However Self Esteem is what others think of you, while self respect is what you think of yourself.

    So Self Esteem is a form of social control, while self respect gives us our dignity.
    Yeah my self-respect is inside me and comes from proving to myself I can be brave or overcome things, which is what I like about Keirsey.

    I feel confident when I can adapt? Yes.

    Self-esteem at artistry? Yes. I want other people to see me as a good writer, otherwise what's the point?

    Good point, Victor, good point. It's Impact or nothing.

Similar Threads

  1. How high is your self-esteem?
    By Olm the Water King in forum Online Personality Tests
    Replies: 52
    Last Post: 07-24-2017, 07:57 AM
  2. [NF] Do NF's tend to have low, medium, or high self-esteem?
    By NashK in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 57
    Last Post: 02-18-2009, 07:35 PM
  3. Self-Esteem
    By ygolo in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 01-24-2008, 02:53 AM
  4. How is your self-esteem?
    By SolitaryWalker in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 05-27-2007, 03:17 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO