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  1. #1
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Default Your ideal self.

    Everyone's had issues from childhood- the one's that seem to hold them back, make them human, imperfect, unable to become the rich, famous, most authentic (fill in the blank) person that they have potential for.

    What were your core issues associated with type/enneagram/ situations that have been holding you back? Has anyone here claimed to achieve true self-actualization, and if so, how? What's an ideal example, (real or made up) of someone that you think you can be with your type-related (or non type related) qualities? /How does someone of xxxx type go about reaching those ideals?
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

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  2. #2
    Senior Member Silveresque's Avatar
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    Good question! My issue is that I'm far too worried about what others think of me. I'm so afraid of looking like an idiot or being weird that I can't just be my true self. Whenever I make even the slightest mistake (real or imagined), I can't help feeling like a complete idiot, and every time I look back and remember one of those moments, the feeling comes back just as strong. So I guess my issue is shame--I ashamed of myself because I'm not perfect. I recognize that it's impossible to be perfect and I shouldn't beat myself up over little things, but somehow I'm still unable to let go. That said, I'm confident that someday I'll get to the point where I can let go of my mistakes and don't have to hide my true self anymore. As a 4, that's what I strive for, to be my authentic self.

  3. #3
    Glycerine
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    My hypersensitivity holds me back. To combat the sensitivity, I go the opposite direction. For example, I have always been hypersensitive to emotion, outside stimulation so I try to go to the extreme and tune out emotions, my surroundings. That's why I think eNFJ and e5 seems to fit me the best. It's not the most effective.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    What were your core issues associated with type/enneagram/ situations that have been holding you back?

    I think there is nothing like a good crisis to allow one to take a step back and start unpeeling the layers to get to the core issues. I know what has held me back is my emotions. If my emotions are not on show 24/7 then i think people may think i am passionless but on the contrary just beacuse i don't show them all the time doesn't mean i don't have them. I don't care so much these days what other people think of me and it is such a relief to have removed that burden from myself.

    Has anyone here claimed to achieve true self-actualization, and if so, how?

    I think it's always a work in progress and in different situations, certain external/internal factors may come forth which may be against ones very core being. I hope to get there but i guess it won't be until i'm on my death bed, at which point i probably realise that i've spent my whole life trying to obtain something which was essentially within me and staring me in the face my whole life, hehe. I do know a lot more about myself than i did 10 years ago.

    What's an ideal example, (real or made up) of someone that you think you can be with your type-related (or non type related) qualities?

    We live in a world where everyone is categorised and pigeon holed. It's not what i think about myself but what everyone thinks of me, be it the interviewer, the date, the sales assistant, the bank manager, the stranger in the street. The way i'm dressed, my choice of words, my lack of specific knowledge so my way to compensate for this is to fade into the walls and become a chameleon so i am adaptable to may situations, while not worrying about what other people think.

    For example, you've repped previously me saying i'm an ESFJ with high Ne, others have thought i am an ENTJ, ENFP and ENFJ .. I don't know what i am but others have an opinion.

    How does someone of xxxx type go about reaching those ideals?


    I think if one takes the 4 letters out of the equation and really starts peeling away the layers, the years of procrastinating and the rest of whatever it is and objectively feels what needs to be felt and thinks about what needs to be thought and addresses those issues (thus owns them without blame etc) then possibly their ideals can take hold and blossom into reality. Potential within is always within reach if we believe.


    I am on some weird tangent this evening so hopefully this makes some sense
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  5. #5
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    @ the OP: what do you mean by self-actualization?
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  6. #6
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Smile Sancho Panza

    I am an idealist mugged by reality. So I have been set back on my heels.

    On the one hand I have been misled by my ideals, but on the other hand, my ideals have given me something irreplacable - a certain purity of heart - the same purity of heart shared with the Ingenious Gentleman, Don Quixote of La Mancha.

    Indeed, Don Quixote is an idealist mugged by reality who tilted at windmills. Don Quixote is found in our first novel - our first novel which speaks to us today.

    Our print society still produces Don Quixotes, and I am an example. Still, print produces idealists who are mugged by windmills.

    And still we fall in love with Dulcinea, a homely peasant, who we see as the most beautiful of all women.

    And by Don Quixote's side rides Sancho Panza, who is both in touch with Don Quixote's ideal world and the world of reality.

    So God and the Devil help me, my new ideal is Sancho Panza.

  7. #7
    Senior Member guesswho's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    @ the OP: what do you mean by self-actualization?
    I was wondering the same thing.

  8. #8
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    @ the OP: what do you mean by self-actualization?
    Quote Originally Posted by guesswho View Post
    I was wondering the same thing.
    Pretty much the OP already describes it- it's the achievement of your ideal self- and for the Webster version:

    self-ac·tu·al·i·za·tion

    noun 
    self-actualisations, plural; self-actualizations, plural

    The realization or fulfillment of one's talents and potentialities, esp. considered as a drive or need present in everyone

    There are lots of ways and theories to describe it, but that's the gist.

    Kind of open-ended, you can interpret it however you think fits.

    Edit: It doesn't mean perfectionism.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

  9. #9
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Self actualization is something I'm always aiming for, and I occasionally achieve moments of something that feels like that. My core issues were/are a knot of all kinds of things, self-confidence, ideals that are at odds with my nature, childhood trauma. As far as my ideal self, I don't have one, setting one would cause a problem for me. I would try to hard to achieve it and then be at square one again.

  10. #10
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    Self actualization is something I'm always aiming for, and I occasionally achieve moments of something that feels like that. My core issues were/are a knot of all kinds of things, self-confidence, ideals that are at odds with my nature, childhood trauma. As far as my ideal self, I don't have one, setting one would cause a problem for me. I would try to hard to achieve it and then be at square one again.
    I can relate to this a lot- like, the need for self actualization and authenticity without really realizing what that is or how it could possibly be. Seems like to attain that I would have to become 3 or 4 separate people.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

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