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  1. #1
    Senior Member lightsun's Avatar
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    Default A Why can anger be a betrayal of ourselves?

    “I am peaceful and I do not wish to harm anyone, I say I hope my emotions don’t give to anger and I become as one possessed. For anger is temporary psychosis. I would like protecting self as well those who I love, but to do minimal damage and use force only that is needed.

    We think, therefore we are. I think it a fool indeed, who believes all that he believes. How much of what we know is to be trusted? Look at schizophrenia. They think, feel, and believe passionately in what they think/feel, but is it valid? What if all this is naught but a dream? How much of what we have learned is written in eternal stone, and not subject to revision?

    Even science has been written many times over since the dawn of history. What is it, I am wishing to impart is keep an open mind and that we don't know it all. The final fact is we cannot always trust our senses. Look at the history of people being executed, because of eye witness testimony.

    A sure sign for me of distorted reasoning is when speaks with an angry heart. There is a sliver of truth there, but it is camouflaged by the person's unfinished business. So what does one do if they happen to be an angry individual? Seek counsel and multiple viewpoints, before making a decision. That is part of the glory and the sorrow of our brains. Our 5 senses can impart much beauty from this world. Our perceptions can also be woefully off, much to our ruin.

    The self-righteous who held under the sway of anger are wrong. It seems as there our ghosts in our past which have gotten lost and stay with our system apparently forever. I have this thinking if children would only be taught reason with a love, in other words-they happen to be angry; the problem is then reasonably brought out, dealt then. It is we don't have this intervention with adult figures which cause disturbances in each of us, never quelled.

    Anger is a cancer to the human consciousness. It distorts our ability to deal with reality with a balance of love mixed in with reason. Anger colors our perceptions so that we make the wrong decisions and act irrationally. Anger generally elongates the attainment of our dreams and potential. The best way to deal with anger is to prevent it in the first place.

    I believe a person nurtured with love and positive regard develops a better self -image and self-esteem. A person who is grounded with love feels better about themselves. Such a person has less anger. They deal with reality more realistically because they see reality more clearly. If one has anger it is important to not act giving in to the anger.

    Actions made during times of anger are self-destructive and to be regretted. Removing oneself from the situation can avoid a lot of misery both to oneself and to others. Anger is a cancer to oneself and to society. The best way to prevent anger is to raise a person with love. Once one has anger it is important to not give into it and act irrationally, irresponsibly, immorally, and ineffectually.

    As for the nature of anger: I have the idea that it is pain that is internal which is triggered. These people don't have the capacity in making me mad. It is unsolved issues. Problem is I can never get a handle on the issues, they are too deeply rooted.

    Also when I get angry, depressed, guilt etc., I say, "It is a lie. These are distortions. It is at best an illusion." Now of course there are real world issues which are deplorable. But the emotions instilled in me, or at least the underlying thoughts happen being distorted.

    They are mixed in with half-truths. Emotions can and do fool us and our senses. They are not to be believed. For one who has these contaminants which provoke ill feelings are almost nearly disempowered by the primitive brain. With anger comes intolerance and half the battle is lost. However, with correct reflection, sifting out the distortions in reason and logic that afflict us all, we may begin to understand one another.

    Anger is a bane to human existence. I know we had need of it in prehistoric days. Everything in balance, okay we have anger. There must be a reason. It can, and does help us to correct societal wrongs. When does it get out of hand? When we cross the line & do evil. When do we know have perpetrated evil? When we take away the rights of people & or life. In the future this may evolve to treat animals and all life on this planet with respect.

    Now, currently, anger may be doing "evil" with gay rights or lack thereof. All humans should have equal rights. This is for people on the whole planet. We have two orientations. One is people for planetary rights and solidarity. The other is America first, foremost, and even only. The two opinions are very diametrically opposed. We must be careful of anger showing up between these two groups. Then again maybe it is just part of the process. As long as there is progress.

    In the Middle East the Israelis & Muslims in the area have (generalization) a deep rooted hatred & anger that is forestalling progress. They have let anger get in the way of reasoning. Somehow they have to get unstuck! This will require much work, and generations born into looking at things in a new light.

    There happen being multiple anger skills which are possible. One, a cognitive oriented view is to be aware, much also as Buddhism. Sometimes the body becomes triggered, this i call temporary psychosis, one acts with no (little) reason. There may of course have factors underplay.

    First all of our emotional hard drive was before higher functions kicked into play. There is a precedence. Emotion can quite frankly trump reason. Two ways of avoiding this will be not letting it escalate. STOP, do not allow your hurt ego to determine the behavior which is pursued.

    How I cope is say, "Okay, either problem solving or refocusing on what I can do to take back a measure of control". Do what I can do and not necessarily, what I wish to do. I have a whole host of coping mechanisms. I tell you those brain chemicals are very powerful indeed.

    When and if I become triggered I try riding the storm of emotion out. It is, "And this too shall pass". Maybe, tomorrow I will have a more pleasant day. It is rolling with the punches. I always am hoping always for the best.

    If one cannot control you, then remove thyself from the public sphere. Take a chill pill, time out, walk away, rather than pour the litter of your anger unto the heads of your fellow beings.

    >>>“Cognitive therapy and rational emotive therapy
    (1) There is an external event and there is a negative emotion.
    (2) The cause of the emotional turmoil is not so much the event as our distorted perception of it.
    (3) We identify the distortion.
    (4) We replace it with a more realistic thought.
    Our emotional discomfort eases.
    (5) We take realistic action.

    The above is almost a mantra of the cognitive approach. As I said, I incorporated into my own philosophy. As far as getting out of dark places, there is a chemical component, which is not addressed. There are chemical neurotransmitters in the brain. There is ACh or Acetylcholine & Norepinephrine: which are generally excitatory. Dopamine, serotonin, and believe it or not endorphins are inhibitory. If there is a chemical imbalance in these areas then generally medication is warranted.

    As a metaphor i do picture the satan as puppet master. He is laughing on our own invoked folly (I don't believe in the devil), There are skill sets being learned which will and must establish themselves into the young child's early life.
    This happens being learning communication, emotional intelligence and of most importance a cognitive set of oriented thinking, and using the proverbial critical thinking of which is our heritage." LightSun


    Qestions to be asked:
    (1) Why or how can anger be deadly or counter-productive?

    (2) How does it get out of control?

    (3) Do you have good anger management as well the needed deescalating skills in coping with your anger?

    (4) How do you think your anger was made manifest?

    (5) If given the circumstances your childhood was different, do you think you’d have less anger?
    Last edited by lightsun; 09-10-2011 at 05:13 PM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    It took me a minute. I got to the 5th paragraph before it registered: "Oh. INFP."

  3. #3
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I definitely don't agree with this. I think acting rashly on anger can be destructive & counter-productive & in that sense prove a "betrayal" to yourself. But I think anger can be legitimate also. You can have good reason to feel angry, but it's important to figure out why you're angry so that you can calm down & figure out a rational solution. Anger itself is just another emotional signal. If you feel it too much, then it's still a signal there is a problem, even if the problem is with yourself.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  4. #4
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    Anger serves a purpose, just like any other emotion, and the purpose it serves is still valid.

    It's just that allowing one's self to get angry all of the time or to be ruled by anger is a betrayal of the self, and it's toxic. I lived with someone with an anger problem and I still respond too much from a place of anger at times from being around him (and not to mention my grandfather's ESTJ wife...who wasn't as openly angry...but I still learned the purpose of anger from her). I am working on being more balanced again, keeping my anger for useful purposes without letting it be toxic.

    Anger can be a great motivator and it can be a great strength. However, it can also be a poison if anger controls you.

    So I think your point of view is just as unbalanced as someone with a severe anger problem, though probably less dangerous, still not realistic or completely helpful.

  5. #5
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    To the OP: are you enneagram 9 perchance?
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  6. #6
    Senior Member lightsun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    To the OP: are you enneagram 9 perchance?

    I happen to be as Eeeagram 9; Cognitive Style 'Mercy; of course INFP.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by lightsun View Post
    I happen to be as Eeeagram 9; Cognitive Style 'Mercy; of course INFP.
    Enneagram 9 is actually in the anger triad, just FYI. Except 9s choose to deny or repress their anger, and it's actually healthy for them to acknowledge it.

    Sixes (like me) integrate at 9 by trusting and chilling out a little more. However, that doesn't mean that narcotization and total denial is the ultimate way to be, it's just what balances a 6, just like 9 integrates at 3.

  8. #8
    Senior Member lightsun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    It took me a minute. I got to the 5th paragraph before it registered: "Oh. INFP."
    Please explain.

  9. #9
    Senior Member lightsun's Avatar
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    Misconceptions with anger:

    (All numbered quotes are Divya Pup’s)

    (1). "...temporary but brilliant way to fight depression."
    LightSun wrote, ""In this I don't concur. I am from psychology and a human service history. Anger raises and can cause very high of a blood pressure. I totally am aware that different ways in coping are manifest. Each does best as he or she visualizes it, Unless other far more beneficial ways of handling anger can be embraced, one needs to do what they have incorporated."


    (2) "...we can avoid depression all together and the anger will subside in a while..."
    LightSun wrote, "Again it is typologies for it does seem to work currently for you now. You apparently have not experienced clinical depression. I gave single counseling as well group functions. Many of these clients had anger, as well the depression. Anger can help propel a being, but it is not the healthy way. Nor is it a way of Buddha, who was extremely intelligent as well, had great insight.

    It also does absolutely not go with modern cognitive thought process. If one is angry they can be fooled an external trigger may be a cause. It’s an attack on one's ego plus a perceived attack of one's self image as well esteem. Either this or fear has been triggered."

    (3) "...right to be angry...
    LightSun wrote, " Everyone needs vent their turmoil, hopefully in a good fashion. Have the anger. Say approitiately 'I am angry, sad, have anxiety, and so on. Trick must be to not act on the emotions. They fool us; the real culprit lies down within us."

    (4) "But express it non-violently is quite healthy in my opinion."
    LightSun wrote, "I explained that it will come to have heart attack or a stroke.”

  10. #10
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    I'll apologize instead, and ask that you Nevermind.

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