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  1. #21
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    Totally, and it always freaks me out because I don't know how to go from my usual state of detachment to actively pursuant. It feels out of control. If it's mutual, all is fab. If not, it just feels weird, and then I start inwardly freaking and thinking, "Probably everyone is attached to this individual because of their ability to make everyone feel special, and they are just humoring me."
    !!!!!!!

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    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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  2. #22
    Starcrossed Seafarer Aquarelle's Avatar
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    Actually, I realized that I don't like to lose touch with anyone I've made a deep connection with. This includes these weird, quick attachments, but also ones that took time but became deep. Like past loves or friends who I've grown apart from. I like to still keep in contact with them, unless there was some horrid ending to our relationship (a couple of exes). I'm FB friends with most of my exes, and a few former best friends that I'm not close with anymore but still care about. Facebook is great for that, because I can keep in touch very informally with those sorts of people by commenting on photos, etc, and it's much less awkward than a random phone call or emil!
    Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.

    My blog:
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  3. #23
    Senior Member Neutralpov's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquarelle View Post
    Ahh, sometimes I freak out like that too! But usually in my experience, we don't really become friends, or at least not close friends. More like friendly acquaintances, and that is usually fine with me. I don't need to feel the deep, intense connection constantly. I just don't want to lose touch with them. It's weird.

    But I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who gets these weird attachments... maybe I'm not as creepy as I thought, hehe.
    The above. Currently a tiny bit disappointed with meeting a serious mindmate this summer. Never noticed them much before this year or just met one that was stronger than any I have encountered. Seems like the NT one was stronger than the nf " mutual understanding". I get down knowing it might be onesided but you can't know if you don't step out, but the stepping out to make things more than friendly acquaintances would not be fun again (and I am an EnfJ). Seems like this is one area I am not able to rely on my charm or social skills. Kinda vulnerable area go figure. This mindmate f**ed me up for about a month. Never had that before and now I am just back at square one in the world. odd feeling
    Extroverted (E) 67.74% Introverted (I) 32.26%
    Intuitive (N) 51.72% Sensing (S) 48.28%
    Feeling (F) 51.61% Thinking (T) 48.39%
    Judging (J) 69.44% Perceiving (P) 30.56%

    Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
    so/sx/sp

  4. #24
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Yeah I've had this happen. Freaks me out a little bit. I'm usually one to try to push away. If it happens on the other end, but not to me, I don't usually get rid of them, but may be a little frightened by them.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

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  5. #25
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    Totally, and it always freaks me out because I don't know how to go from my usual state of detachment to actively pursuant. It feels out of control. If it's mutual, all is fab. If not, it just feels weird, and then I start inwardly freaking and thinking, "Probably everyone is attached to this individual because of their ability to make everyone feel special, and they are just humoring me."
    I get a lot of people in the other direction. Must be a mannerism thing or something. Type O personality, hahahaha. (Like universal blood donors.. universal personalities... get it?) My two closest friends, (they are sisters) always joked that I must have "I'm your friend" written on my forehead. I get a lot of estranged and downtrodden, a lot of mainstream, (more accurately, my age, race and gender folks)- but also different ages, different races, different educational levels, different economic status, different people in general seeming to come to me like magnets.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
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    by sns.

  6. #26
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    I get a lot of people in the other direction. Must be a mannerism thing or something. Type O personality, hahahaha. (Like universal blood donors.. universal personalities... get it?) My two closest friends, (they are sisters) always joked that I must have "I'm your friend" written on my forehead. I get a lot of estranged and downtrodden, a lot of mainstream, (more accurately, my age, race and gender folks)- but also different ages, different races, different educational levels, different economic status, different people in general seeming to come to me like magnets.
    I get it a fair amount from students, because I'm pretty open with them. I'm more reserved in daily life, and more cautious of where I spend my energy.
    Something Witty

  7. #27
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    Totally, and it always freaks me out because I don't know how to go from my usual state of detachment to actively pursuant. It feels out of control. If it's mutual, all is fab. If not, it just feels weird, and then I start inwardly freaking and thinking, "Probably everyone is attached to this individual because of their ability to make everyone feel special, and they are just humoring me."
    I have a similar reaction, except I never concern myself with becoming a pursuant. I think I simply adopt a more open demeanor with them. I take a laissez-faire approach & let them come to me, often admiring from a distance if they never do. I do feel disturbed internally; it bothers me to know I am so "aware" of this person, but that they may not be aware of me. If I don't see a mutual interest, though, then it cools my feeling toward them quite quickly, as I have the same thought that they simply connect easily to everyone. I guess this is why my quick, intense attachments are usually reciprocated; I only really attach when I know it will be mutual.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  8. #28
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    There are some people who I think understand me, or people like me, better than others. I'm not really a big fan of talking too much unless it's "productive" in some way. Some people are willing to let me hang around for a lot longer than others without me ever really opening up to them. These people aren't too rare (or perhaps I've just gotten better at spotting them) but they are far from common.

    I've only experienced this 2 times with girls..once when I was 8ish in a laundry mat..and once with a girl at school. The last time it happened I literally ran away when I came "to my senses"...then I realized what I was doing...but I might have lost the chance to ever make it up to her...people bring out the worst in me sometimes..
    Last edited by xisnotx; 08-17-2011 at 03:26 AM.

  9. #29
    Senior Member Nomenclature's Avatar
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    Happens to me all the time. ALL. THE TIME. When I really like someone, I want to talk to him (I have no female friends...) all day, every day. Nothing to do with being in love, more like the novelty of, "OOOH, a new person with all these buttons to push." We probably move into the "too comfortable" stage within four days lmfao. Not even.

    Maybe I'm the one who makes others feel special without being aware of it. Who knows? But there's a huge difference between just talking to someone and "can we get married already?" It is kind of superficial when I move quickly from person to person, yeah. I'm working on it.
    ISTP 3w2 SX/SO

  10. #30
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Don't get this, but am suitably freaked out when someone does with me. STALKERS!

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