Abuse

[Thalassa]

This made me question my type.

I'd say as a kid (6 years and below) I did have a bit of "abuse" I guess; I don't know to call it abuse or discipline, since asian parents are the type to beat up their kids to "be good". For the most part I was taken care of by babysitters and/or left alone. I was staying home alone when I was 3 or 4 years old.

When I was 8 onwards then the abuse started to happen. I won't go into details here but over time it has made me more defiant and aggressive. I decided that I am not going to let anyone assert control over me because I have been pushed around way too much. As a kid, well, it just got you beaten up even more.

I think it's because I don't fit the definition of a good kid because I would abuse my brother and fight back to my parents. I did not know why exactly, but I do know that I did not like what I see; preferential treatment given to the other, hence I felt as though my abuse was justified.

Now as I have grown I have become a lot more assertive than I used to be as a kid; they'd push me around and I was a sensitive kid -- but tears did nothing to solve the problem. I just sucked it up and fight back. My temper has decreased since turning 15 and, well, I don't know. My family members know when I am angry and will stay clear if they don't want to get hurt. This happens at a much lesser frequency than it used to be because I have channeled my frustration to tumblr and I keep doing what I enjoy doing: class.

I think that sounds ESxP, fighting back and abusing your brother instead of being a "good kid."

I'm just saying as an ExFP I became a lot less passive than I think I would have been if I had been IxFP or ISFJ. It may even indicate that I definitely am ESFP.

 

[mrcockburn]

I think that sounds ESxP, fighting back and abusing your brother instead of being a "good kid."

I'm just saying as an ExFP I became a lot less passive than I think I would have been if I had been IxFP or ISFJ. It may even indicate that I definitely am ESFP.

Hmm. I'm an ESFP too, but I don't relate. I was never violent or a bully, I just grew up to scoff at authority and just step over any fuckers in my way so I could do my own thing. It caused me to not tolerate mistreatment - ever. The minute I sense I'm being disrespected, I walk. Just not having it.

 

[Thalassa]

Hmm. I'm an ESFP too, but I don't relate. I was never violent or a bully, I just grew up to scoff at authority and just step over any fuckers in my way so I could do my own thing. It caused me to not tolerate mistreatment - ever. The minute I sense I'm being disrespected, I walk. Just not having it.

But were you abused?

I wasn't ever a bully, either. I relate to what you're saying.

I'm saying that an ESxP could become that way because of being violently abused themselves. An ESTP perhaps even more so than ESFP, but I don't want to suggest that ESFP's couldn't, because Se/Te can be really...over the top.

 

[mrcockburn]

But were you abused?

I wasn't ever a bully, either. I relate to what you're saying.

I'm saying that an ESxP could become that way because of being violently abused themselves. An ESTP perhaps even more so than ESFP, but I don't want to suggest that ESFP's couldn't, because Se/Te can be really...over the top.

Yes. I mean, I was never beaten all day long with a garden rake or anything, but yes.

Described it in the last page (or 2 pgs back, too lazy to quote myself. :lol:

Maybe it's also enneagram related too, since it looks like you described yourself as more feisty. Cp 6?

 

[Shade]

So then if you do nothing and are super-passive (other than developing a pathological affinity for lying) when you are abused, what personality type does that make you?

 

[Thalassa]

Yes. I mean, I was never beaten all day long with a garden rake or anything, but yes.

Described it in the last page (or 2 pgs back, too lazy to quote myself. :lol:

Maybe it's also enneagram related too, since it looks like you described yourself as more feisty. Cp 6?

I think you and I just have different defense mechanisms, which could have to do with enneagram...or you being ESTP rather than ESFP...or any number of things...because I seem to recall your blatant disregard for telling one of your exes you were leaving the country for two weeks with a guy friend and seemed quite amused with his distress, and um...I would never do that. I consider that pretty nasty, to be perfectly honest with you.

But then again, I'll yell at people, and yes I'm feisty. I have hit people before, but in my teens primarily.

 

[Thalassa]

So then if you do nothing and are super-passive (other than developing a pathological affinity for lying) when you are abused, what personality type does that make you?

...I think uber passive people are usually in introverted function loops, I would guess IxxP or ISFJ. Maybe.