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Is it better to ignore your failings?

Lily flower

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I recently read in a self help book that it is better to ignore your failings and just focus on your abilities and improving those.

What do you think?

Should we try to improve the areas we know are weak? Or should we just focus on our abilities and ignore our weak areas?
 

FDG

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Yeah, unless they're causing some big trouble in your life, developing your natural talents is much more effective than trying to cover your bases in all your weaknesses. Mostly because our life is finite, thus the choice is partially binary.
 

Synapse

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[youtube="mf0YzT8QzH8"]A Dialogue on Forgiveness[/youtube]

A better question to ask, is it better to ignore your self image? How important are failings to your self image?
 

jimrckhnd

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I disagree. I believe you should face failings, understand them, forgive yourself for them and analyze them in light of your strengths to minimize their negative consequences. If realistic... spend some time strengthening weak areas to achieve at least a minimal competency (sometimes a hard earned “C” is good enough :laugh:).
 

Fluffywolf

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After running into the same post six times, one starts to wonder.
 

Eckhart

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Before it devours all your self-confidence, sure. Because once you are down, it is hard to stand up again. But usually you should probably not ignore them totally.

But I believe that is a more complex question than you can usually answer in a single line.
 
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I agree with jim. Own your failings inside/out. Unless we're talking about some profound discovery, nothing separates experiences from other experiences until you've attached emotional weight.
 

Xenon

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I believe you should face failings, understand them, forgive yourself for them and analyze them in light of your strengths to minimize their negative consequences. If realistic... spend some time strengthening weak areas to achieve at least a minimal competency (sometimes a hard earned “C” is good enough :laugh:).

I agree with this. There are many skills that are very useful, or even necessary, for getting on well in the world. For dealing with work, relationships, self-management....If a personal weakness is hindering you in some area, sometimes you do need to improve it. There isn't always a way around it.
 

skylights

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no :/

i agree with jim also. i would seek to be aware of them and to be kind to yourself and focus on your positives, but ignoring your negatives will just create problems.
 

Such Irony

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I don't think we should ignore our failings as they can be a useful learning experience. If we don't know where we went wrong the first time, how can we avoid repeating the same mistakes?

On the other hand it's psychologically unhealthy to dwell too much on our failures.
 

Southern Kross

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I disagree. I believe you should face failings, understand them, forgive yourself for them and analyze them in light of your strengths to minimize their negative consequences. If realistic... spend some time strengthening weak areas to achieve at least a minimal competency (sometimes a hard earned “C” is good enough :laugh:).
Agreed.

Some of the most infuriating people I've ever met are those that lack decent self-awareness. It is important to focus on what you're good at but you have to be aware of your failings and learn to at least keep them under control or compensate for them to some degree. A serious character flaw can potentially undo all of the achievements a person reaches.
 

Giggly

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I think you should focus on whatever gets you what you need. Ofc that requires deciding on what you need and accepting that some effort and/or sacrifice may be required if you are weak in some areas.
 

Stigmata

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Ignoring failure prevents your ability to extract the knowledge necessary to not have it repeated. A failure is only truly a failure when there's no learning experience taken from it.
 

Beargryllz

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I obsess about my failings

I would rather have the ability to ignore them, most of the time
 

RinconSB

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I initially misread the title as "feelings", in which case my answer would be generally yes. But failings, no.
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

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Don't ignore, but don't immerse... Very, very dangerous.
 

Totenkindly

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I think the OP is describing what I've typically seen in "be successful" books -- that it's a better investment to focus on making your strengths (in terms of TALENTS and NATURAL TRAITS) shine, rather than focusing on your weakest points and trying to make that a focal point of your success strategy.

The caveat is that if one or more of your weaknesses is REALLY bad, then it's worth investing enough to bring yourself up the bare minimal level with that ability or trait, simply so that it won't derail your strengths... but otherwise don't throw good money after bad.

The concept is typically aimed at management, where it's not a "solo sport" but you have the opportunity to surround yourself with people who excel in the areas that perhaps you stink at, so rather than trying to just not be weak, it's easier to give someone else a chance to invest in the area you are weak in. As a team, you thus have all the bases covered and everyone gets a chance to shine.

I generally agree with this. I mean, really, you're gonna go a lot farther by getting your strengths as honed as possible and bringing your big weaknesses up only to the minimal level needed, than you will investing that same energy into trying to make your weaknesses "average" rather than weaknesses. It takes a lot more energy to do that than to increase your strengths, because you're naturally inclined to use your strengths as well as invest in them, and you're inclined to not use your weaknesses nor invest in them.

Being a jack of all trades is cool; but as always, unless you find a niche for yourself that demands the ability to do everything to an average or a bit above average level, a specialist (few strengths, but highly honed) will outshine you EVERY time. If you want to have brain surgery, you don't go to a generalist; you go to a brain surgeon.
 

wolfy

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What Jennifer said and...

You should be aware of your weak points. They're usually somewhat related to your strong points. It's always better to be fully aware.
 
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