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  1. #1
    That's my name biotch! JoSunshine's Avatar
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    Default Could my friend have Asperger’s?

    So I have a friend who tests ESxx whom I am certain has some sort of social/empathetic challenges. I feel for her because she doesn’t have a mean bone in her body and almost always means well, but really struggles in her relationships as well as socially. She often seems upset and confused because she knows she is different and is trying to figure out why.

    I have read a bit about Asperger’s and she seems to “fit” in certain ways, but not at all in others. I know there are at least some people on this board with Asperger’s, so I was wondering if you can tell me if you think it is possible based on this description:

    Intelligent and studious – she got her masters degree from a very good university and had excellent grades.

    Huge gaps in her memory – forgets things quickly doesn’t remember people she has dated or even intimate encounters with.

    Very social, yet socially inappropriate – she says thing people find offensive, but she has no idea she is doing it. Tends to speak quickly (almost in a manic way) and goes on at length, cuts people off when speaking, “glues” herself to people she is interested in, discloses very personal information, does a poor job of reading body language and noticing when people are disinterested in her.

    Schedules every day down to the last minute and freaks if she can’t do something she planned to do.

    Obsessively exercises – panics if she can’t.

    Naïve and gullible – she takes everything people say at face value even if there is a pervasive pattern of behavior that suggest she shouldn’t.

    “Promiscuous” (in quotes because I can’t think of a more accurate word) – Will sleep with any guy who says he likes her if he asks for sex because she takes what they say at face value.

    Insistent – She tends to be very insistent about having things her way or trying to control a situation because she can’t seem to just “go with the flow”.

    Anxious – She becomes very anxious when any kind of ambiguity is involved in a situation and is prone to seeming random bouts of panic.

    Oddly Specific – e.g. I will be there at 10:32AM

    Emotionally unaffected - e.g. works with handicap children as a physical therapist and is unaffected when one dies even if she has been working with them for years.

    Is uncomfortable with non-sexual physical touch.

    If she does end up dating someone, she usually breaks it off because she can’t tolerate basic things (the way he drags his fork across his teeth, the one crooked tooth, the sound he makes when he breathes).

    Must be her definition of “perfect” before she can leave the house – every hair in place, make-up exactly as she likes it, etc (mind you she is not an over-done person, just must look a certain way before she is comfortable being seen in public).

    Has a hard time understanding how what she says and does effects other people.

    Has a pure heart and always tries really, really hard to do the right thing for people.

    Thoughts? (Sorry for the long post)
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " - Dr. Seuss
    I can't spell...get over it

    Slightly ENFJ, totally JoSunshine
    Extroverted (E) 52.5%........Introverted (I) 47.5%
    Intuitive (N) 65.63%..........Sensing (S) 34.38%
    Feeling (F) 55.56%............Thinking (T) 44.44%
    Judging (J) 51.43%............Perceiving (P) 48.57%

  2. #2
    Ginkgo
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    Well, if she sleeps around with people so much that they only surface as featureless shapes in her memory, the memory problem speaks for itself.

    It actually sounds like it may be obsessive compulsive disorder. She sounds fixated in some areas and completely ignorant in others.

  3. #3
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    Could be asperger's. I'd suggest looking up a complete diagnostic sheet that describes all the symptoms in full detail, and carefully analyzing them to see if she may have it.

  4. #4
    That's my name biotch! JoSunshine's Avatar
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    I will need to find that complete diagnostic sheet. I've been trying to get her to see a professional because clearly that would be the best thing, but she has yet to take that advice.

    I thought about OCD, but the social/relationship stuff seems to suggest there is more to it.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " - Dr. Seuss
    I can't spell...get over it

    Slightly ENFJ, totally JoSunshine
    Extroverted (E) 52.5%........Introverted (I) 47.5%
    Intuitive (N) 65.63%..........Sensing (S) 34.38%
    Feeling (F) 55.56%............Thinking (T) 44.44%
    Judging (J) 51.43%............Perceiving (P) 48.57%

  5. #5
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    Indeed, a professional is usually the best option.

    Although, if she is fine with it, perhaps you could talk with her directly concerning this matter? Especially considering that an analysis of her childhood, where symptoms could be far more abundant, could prove to be more evident of this possible condition.

  6. #6
    Senior Member wildcat's Avatar
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    The OP is a very good post.

    Yes. Asperger's it is. Definitively.
    Believe me, I know. I am an expert in the field.

    You said that she fits in certain ways, but not at all in others.
    She fits in all the ways.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Lily flower's Avatar
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    It definitely sounds like Asperger's. While she may also have OCD, people with OCD have perfectly normal social skills.

  8. #8
    (blankpages) Xenon's Avatar
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    Diagnostic Criteria for Asperger's Disorder

    The above link has two diagnostic criteria lists from two different sources.

    Even if she got a professional diagnosis, I'm not sure what they can do for her. There's no specific treatment. If she's been feeling bad about her social problems, it might be a relief to be able to point to a reason for them. I'm not sure what else can be done, especially if she's just being diagnosed as an adult.

    She could also check out Wrong Planet or some other online community for people with Asperger's/autism spectrum conditions. Hang around real people who have it and see if it fits.

  9. #9
    That's my name biotch! JoSunshine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wildcat View Post
    The OP is a very good post.

    Yes. Asperger's it is. Definitively.
    Believe me, I know. I am an expert in the field.

    You said that she fits in certain ways, but not at all in others.
    She fits in all the ways.
    I think the thing that really throws me off is that she is very social and has difficulty being alone. From what I have ready one of the hallmarks of Aspergers is avoidance of social situations. She wants to be around people, but she just has poor social skills. Also, she choose a profession that is a people-related field. I was wondering if other people with Asperger's Syndrome also gravitate towards people-related situations.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lily flower View Post
    It definitely sounds like Asperger's. While she may also have OCD, people with OCD have perfectly normal social skills.
    Yep - that was my thought, the huge memory gaps and social related issues seem to point to something more.

    Quote Originally Posted by blankpages View Post
    Diagnostic Criteria for Asperger's Disorder

    The above link has two diagnostic criteria lists from two different sources.

    Even if she got a professional diagnosis, I'm not sure what they can do for her. There's no specific treatment. If she's been feeling bad about her social problems, it might be a relief to be able to point to a reason for them. I'm not sure what else can be done, especially if she's just being diagnosed as an adult.

    She could also check out Wrong Planet or some other online community for people with Asperger's/autism spectrum conditions. Hang around real people who have it and see if it fits.
    Thanks for the link - once again a mixed bag of things that describe her and things that don't.

    She spends a good bit of the time feeling "crazy" these days. For a long time she had no idea she was "different" but now that she is aware of it (and knows that people refer to her as "crazy") she is forever wondering what is different about her - especially because she doesn't seem to able to discern from situation to situation what would be "normal". Some days she calls me 10 times in one day to ask how to handle different situations. I also think she feels "unlovable" and that is sad. I'm thinking a diagnosis might help her cope and understand herself.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " - Dr. Seuss
    I can't spell...get over it

    Slightly ENFJ, totally JoSunshine
    Extroverted (E) 52.5%........Introverted (I) 47.5%
    Intuitive (N) 65.63%..........Sensing (S) 34.38%
    Feeling (F) 55.56%............Thinking (T) 44.44%
    Judging (J) 51.43%............Perceiving (P) 48.57%

  10. #10
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    I'm wondering if she might have borderline personality disorder? I'm not sure if it explains as much as Aspergers, though.
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