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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little_Sticks View Post
    "When someone gives advice, I am beneath them. When someone gives help without my appointment, I am an opponent. When someone gives suggestions of which I can pleasantly refuse, I am their friend."

    Thoughts? Do you feel it's type related? Find it not to be true? Any other thoughts? I'd like know what you think about this. So say whatever you want.
    The usual self-help books on personal boundaries and “saying no” indicate that one should respect the boundaries between adults when asking/offering assistance. For example, if you indicate that you are having a problem with something, then I shouldn’t tell you what to do or insist on doing the thing for you, because that breaks the boundary between us. Instead, I should tell you how I’ve handled the situation myself in the past (or how I’ve seen others handle the situation), and then I should step aside and let you draw your own conclusions as to whether such a suggestion would work for you, or if it can be adapted for your case, etc.

    Something like that.

    Anyway, back to your statement. I think you’re trying to slice and dice the subject matter too finely, which is resulting in people asking for clarifications. You’re suggesting that some types of assistance are patronizing, some types of assistance are offensive, and some types of assistance are okay. That may in fact be true, but the more finely you dissect the subject matter, the more people are going to want clarifications. For example, what happens if you intend the assistance as one thing, but the assistance is received as another thing. And so on.

    Hence I find that it’s usually better not to dissect these things too finely. That’s *my* suggestion for you.

  2. #12
    ThatGirl
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    The quote sounds obstinant and a bit insecure.

    I'm not sure how that translates to type.

  3. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by Little_Sticks View Post
    "When someone gives advice, I am beneath them. When someone gives help without my appointment, I am an opponent. When someone gives suggestions of which I can pleasantly refuse, I am their friend."
    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I'm not sure why you used the word "opponent." It doesn't seem to fit with the first part of the sentence. I can't parse it.
    I think the word help is an active help. Opponent as in it puts you on the defensive for your need to express yourself through your actions.

    I agree with the quote...
    Advice as in veiled orders, help as in veiled interference.

  4. #14
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    I think the quote is a very defeatist attitude. Yes, independence is nice, but advice that aids you should always be welcome at some point and if it doesn't help then you disregard it. No harm, no fowl. If they get irritated at you disregarding their advice, it's their problem not yours.

  5. #15

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    I just think the wording is a bit off, the gist of it is true.

  6. #16
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little_Sticks View Post
    Uhh, first this isn't what I think, but I found it interesting; it posed questions that I had to answer individually and I wanted to see how other do so and what conclusions they have reached themselves. Second, contrary to forum atmosphere (I blame MBTI) not every thread is about someone trying to shove a belief down your throat; this is just a discussion where there's no right interpretation or correctness to what this is supposed to mean and has nothing to do with what I think you should think. Third, where you disagree I want you to come up with your own definitions or understanding of the questions this poses for you. If there's anything I have gotten out of Jungian types is that there are many differing interpretations and perspectives that people have.



    Technically, I did, but I was synthesizing my thoughts into an idea that I could use to see what our people thought independently (not just simply agreeing or disagreeing) about the subject (or even what they determine the subject to be ).



    It's not about agreeing or disagreeing or being right or wrong. This isn't a proposition for what's logically consistent that you refute or not because nothing anyone says as truth relating to another person's behavior or thoughts is going to always universally be the case; if it were, we would all be lifeless rocks. I would love to hear your perspective on what it means and why though.



    Please answer your own questions first before expecting others to; it's rude. I don't care how logically you can decipher a true-false statement based on individually accepted and defined premises. That's for your ego and I'm not interested in that.
    well. after reading this i definitely don't have any desire to discuss my own thoughts. maybe the reason your threads aren't well-responded to is that you post something and then get pissed when others speak freely about it.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little_Sticks View Post
    Uhh, first this isn't what I think, but I found it interesting; it posed questions that I had to answer individually and I wanted to see how other do so and what conclusions they have reached themselves. Second, contrary to forum atmosphere (I blame MBTI) not every thread is about someone trying to shove a belief down your throat; this is just a discussion where there's no right interpretation or correctness to what this is supposed to mean and has nothing to do with what I think you should think. Third, where you disagree I want you to come up with your own definitions or understanding of the questions this poses for you. If there's anything I have gotten out of Jungian types is that there are many differing interpretations and perspectives that people have.



    Technically, I did, but I was synthesizing my thoughts into an idea that I could use to see what our people thought independently (not just simply agreeing or disagreeing) about the subject (or even what they determine the subject to be ).



    It's not about agreeing or disagreeing or being right or wrong. This isn't a proposition for what's logically consistent that you refute or not because nothing anyone says as truth relating to another person's behavior or thoughts is going to always universally be the case; if it were, we would all be lifeless rocks. I would love to hear your perspective on what it means and why though.



    Please answer your own questions first before expecting others to; it's rude. I don't care how logically you can decipher a true-false statement based on individually accepted and defined premises. That's for your ego and I'm not interested in that.
    wow....sometimes people trip me the hell out.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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