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  1. #1
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Introversion and Hatred

    I was hated in high school and it had a big effect on me and I wondered what was wrong with me. But as time passed I realised it was because I was introverted. It seems so simple now but at the time it was inexplicable and debilitating.

    A funny thing happened to me not so long ago - I would see a middle-aged to elderly man in the city and on the bus who I took to be schizophrenic. I would be friendly and talk to him whenever I saw him. And this went on for years until one day he fixed me with his eye and said, meaningfully, "You've made it". And he was right, I had made it, I had learnt to share my inner life in my daily life, as I walked around and interacted. But this was the last thing he was to say to me, for he disappeared from the streets as though his schizophrenic inner life had overcome him - and he had not made it. It was as though he gave me his last blessing before he was swallowed up. And his last words had the ring of truth.

    And although I was hated in high school I am left with some hatred myself for extroverts who are deaf to the inner life. On the othe hand I am deeply pleased to be able to share my rich inner life with those around me.

    Victor Felix.

  2. #2
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    It's like a spectrum, Victor. Extroverts who have no inner life at all are imbalanced, and same for Introverts who cannot extrovert at all. Most healthy people fall somewhere in the middle, but lean to one side or the other.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    My time alone is a must, and interacting with others is a must. (You can imagine my test answers. Lol.)
    I need a balance and I make sure I get it.

  4. #4
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    And this went on for years until one day he fixed me with his eye and said, meaningfully, "You've made it".
    Are you sure it wasn't just your stop?

  5. #5
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    I was hated in high school...
    Never would have guessed!

    It's more than introversion though. Am I the only one who thinks you really need a few more degrees of 'different' to be ostracized?

    Extroverts can easily be hated in high school, sometimes much easier... who doesn't remember the annoying kids that were smaller than everyone else who got beat up on all day? And they liked the attention so went with it, if it was the only way they could get it, and they're not brooding so no one thinks they're sad. Zero guilt beat downs!

  6. #6
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    I don't know perhaps some introverts don't bear it as well? However, I agree with you that introverts aren't univerally hated in high school. Pretty sure lots of ISFJ females were considered "nice girls" who wore the same clothes as the wildly popular girls, so socially fit in quietly, without any undue attention to themselves.

    I think it's possible for extroverts to just go find another group. You know, hey I don't fit in this group, I'll go find people like me to hang out with. That kind of thing.

    But yeah...you could be hated either way, for different reasons, and I don't think it's as simple as introvert or extrovert.

    I was very blessed for the most part in my high school experience, but that's largely because I abandoned the "popular kids" my freshman year and went to hang out with all the skaters, punks, drama kids, musicians and art fags. I found my niche and I was happy there. I would have been miserable had I tried to fit a mold that didn't suit me.

    Also, I used to defend one of those dudes who got beat up every day. Poor guy. Me and a small group of girls had his back.

  7. #7
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    I was hated in high school and it had a big effect on me and I wondered what was wrong with me. But as time passed I realised it was because I was introverted. It seems so simple now but at the time it was inexplicable and debilitating.

    A funny thing happened to me not so long ago - I would see a middle-aged to elderly man in the city and on the bus who I took to be schizophrenic. I would be friendly and talk to him whenever I saw him. And this went on for years until one day he fixed me with his eye and said, meaningfully, "You've made it". And he was right, I had made it, I had learnt to share my inner life in my daily life, as I walked around and interacted. But this was the last thing he was to say to me, for he disappeared from the streets as though his schizophrenic inner life had overcome him - and he had not made it. It was as though he gave me his last blessing before he was swallowed up. And his last words had the ring of truth.

    And although I was hated in high school I am left with some hatred myself for extroverts who are deaf to the inner life. On the othe hand I am deeply pleased to be able to share my rich inner life with those around me.

    Victor Felix.
    Do you feel like you've received message from the outer world from those around you as you have shared in kind?

    If everyone is their own island, then no one fits in like they expect to in high school. And, in that sense, everyone can be rounded into the same group of outcasts. I'm comfortable with that, but I enjoy company; while I do not anticipate anyone will truly understand me, or me them, I can still develop my own hunch about them as far as it will take me.

    In high school, the differences between me and others were painfully obvious, but I believe I created that layer between me and them with a tint of resentment, like you did Victor. At this point, my attention is drawn to when I fear or hate others, because I can dispel it if I am willing.

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    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    I too fail to see the connection between introversion and being hated. But perhaps it was just part of your school's culture, mine wasn't like that. I wasn't hated for being introverted; I was ignored for being introverted. And my class wasn't full of haters. I don't think we had any reason to be haters. If I was hated for being introverted, my response might have been something like, "Hey, this isn't working!"
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  9. #9
    Anew Leaf
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    We are all hated by others for different reasons. This is simply victors reason, and perhaps does not need to be extrapolated upon for others' lives.

    I was hated for a variety of reasons. It definitely affected me going into my 20's; now not at all. Such is the beauty of growing older.

  10. #10
    Senor Membrane
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    I don't think I was ever hated. I don't think bullying is about hating people, really.

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