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  1. #21
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by allegorystory View Post
    Gal, the aspie and I aren't in the same ballpark. I'm here as a target for lame jokes, am I? That's a service to the community. I must be a nice person, a freakin mother Teresa.

    Anyhow, the bi-polar thread idea is spot-on. I can sell the thread format for a low-low-price if you ever want it.

    Don't I have it crystal clear now! Picking on the poor aspies is a definite no-no. We should let our aspies soar, soar into the future, proud and unique.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #22
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    Well my point is that if you don't like being around him, don't hang out with him.

    Have you voiced your concerns, just as you would do with any other human being?

    Did he balk? Are you willing to adjust? Yes? NO?

    It's just like any other relationship, friendship, romantic, whatever, if you can't adjust or deal, you go away.

    I'm pretty sure you can be as straight forward with someone who is aspie or mildly autistic as you could be with someone with mild to moderate bipolar disorder....many of these people are very intelligent and aren't retarded or completely out of touch with reality or anything.

    My recommendation is to attempt to guide him socially toward what you want, because he's just not picking up on it because of his neurologically atypical state, and if he can't do that, then don't hang out with him.

  3. #23
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    We've actually talked and it looks promising. Just as with anyone, it's best to concentrate on stuff that's mutually enjoyable. If something is not and I won't do it, they'll catch on (edit: or not.)

    Edit 2: he has a lot of access to many neurotypical thought processes, so we are not that much without common ground as a neurotypical and a true autist would be.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by Santtu View Post
    We've actually talked and it looks promising. Just as with anyone, it's best to concentrate on stuff that's mutually enjoyable. If something is not and I won't do it, they'll catch on (edit: or not.)

    Edit 2: he has a lot of access to many neurotypical thought processes, so we are not that much without common ground as a neurotypical and a true autist would be.
    Well, see! That wasn't so hard now, was it?

  5. #25
    a scream in a vortex nanook's Avatar
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    you have to undestand that stages of developement are build out of each other. any stage is the functional core of the next stage. it is therefore impossible to skip stages. role playing (conformism) is a stage in it self and it is most likely the highest stage that an autist can get a grasp of. it's probably where his developement is happening (if any is happening at all), not something that's wrong/not good enough, even if its retarded according to your and my "standards".

    if you don't understand the internal workings of a higher stage (how it is constructed out of lower-stage-modules) you don't even have to begin to teach anything. and most likely it is futile to make such a teaching attempt anyway. if the individual has no hard intrinsic desire to learn, to become human, like lieutennant DATA, etc, he won't grow one bit, because the stage's functions can't be stacked on top of each other, if there is no identity, which identifies with them so that a sort of axis is built. a stage can't be grasped like a tool, a distal line of intelligence, like mathematics or geometry. in retrospect, it appears that earlyer stages can be grasped like tools, synthezised like a program, but while growing the stages in the first place it is different: you are identified with the stage that you are currently growing, meaning you can't even really see from the outside or from above how you are doing. so: someone at the role-playing stage believes, that he IS the role. and if he (the autist) does not even feel that way, than it indicates how his axis is broken at a level below role playing, so he certainly wont be able stack any further stages on top of it. (but again, if somone were at a much higher stage than role playing, the appearance might be similar, meaning: no identification with roles, roleplaying is treated like a tool, a distal line of intelligence)

    verry abstract i know.

    the matter is to complicated to be explained in more specific langage.

  6. #26

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    What if it is I who has autistic traits? How might I make my company more enjoyable when the other person doesn't enjoy autism?

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
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    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
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  7. #27
    Senior Member Alea_iacta_est's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    What if it is I who has autistic traits? How might I make my company more enjoyable when the other person doesn't enjoy autism?
    Apply your focus/memorization/absorption abilities to learning social situations I would assume. If you had an ASD that was a high-self monitor he or she would be harder to tell apart from a neurotypical, for they would constantly be adjusting to the right social rules. However, focusing on this task may blind-spot you for conversation when you are focused on trying to adjust your posture to seem less awkward.

  8. #28
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    don't focus on the fact he's autistic if he is just mildly. you focusing so much is probably making his downfalls bigger than they actually are. it's like when I don't like someone all their negative qualities become really obvious and I can't see the positive ones.

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