Well everybody knows people like that or even is a person like that. Fact is everybody is like that, cause sometimes the most thoughtful person says something without thinking.
Still here's a question: imagine your partner regulary saying something without thinking. Since you are someone who usually tries to think before speaking, you always take your partner serious. So tho he or she is someone who in every second sentence says something without thinking, you do not take only every second sentence serious but every single one.
Of course you aint an idiot and in time you get to know your partner and become sensitive for what she or he meant serious and what not. Still it bugs you and you find it unfriendly or even condescending at times that your partner doesnt even try to think before speaking and instead sometimes insults you or says threatening things to your relationship, tho he or she doesnt mean it. Or you maybe know those quick decisions, when you are pissed and immediantly throw a thing away without giving it a chance or being reasonable.
Well here's my question: how to get people like that a bit more thoughtful. I basically have two strategies: the first one is that I tend to repeat to my partner the things I found hurtful. You have to be careful when doing that so you dont appear too needy or that your emotions are hurt or anything like that. It's more a repetition to remind the partner of what went wrong and you didnt like. Of course you cant use that very often cause at some point, partner will just be pissed .
The other strategy is to involve the partner in planning. Even encouraging, your partner is exceptionally bad at planning and if you tell him / her a thing, she has forgotten the next day. So you constantly remind her / him and try to encourage that structural pattern forming in her / his brain, so even at some point he or she starts realistical planning on their own.
Does anyone have experience with this ? It's not really mandatorily bugging me, but I think there is room for improvement in my relationship. What's your opinion ? Crazy german gone crazy or can you relate ?