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View Poll Results: Do they go hand-in-hand?

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14. You may not vote on this poll
  • Yes, they're often found together

    3 21.43%
  • No, they don't correlate

    3 21.43%
  • I disagree with the premise

    3 21.43%
  • Option D

    5 35.71%
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  1. #11
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    You also missed the point regarding 'indifference' existing in the opposite end of this triangle.

  2. #12
    Superwoman Red Herring's Avatar
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    When I read the treat title, I expected this to be about gratitude or something along the line.

    Meaning: grudge = leftover traces of having been wronged; gratitude= leftover traces of having received kindness
    or
    grudge/rudeness = gratitude/kindness

    As for the question of holding on to the past, yes, that can be a common characteristic of both a grudge and warm memories or not letting go (two very different things!). It could very well bve that this is a character trait both in its negative and its positive expression. Further investigation is needed.
    The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge. Neither love without knowledge, nor knowledge without love can produce a good life. - Bertrand Russell
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  3. #13
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    If a grudge means "holding onto hate", then is "holding onto love" (i.e., having trouble letting go of relationships) its opposite?

    Do you think these two personal qualities tend to go together in a personality?
    True to your nature the literal words do seem to resemble each other. The action of holding onto is the same.. and hate/love are often the ying/yangs protrayed.. so it seems to make sense.

    I don't think they necessarily go together though.. I'm much more likely to hold a grudge than I am to hold onto love.
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  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Burning Rave View Post
    Nope, letting the hate go is the opposite.

    "The opposite of love is not hate - it's apathy."


    [Either way you put it
    you love someone,
    you hate someone,
    you like someone,
    you're interested in someone,
    etc.]
    You are attached to that person

    [When you become apathetic
    you don't care whether you love someone,
    you don't care whether you hate someone,
    you don't care whether you like someone,
    you don't care whether you are interested in someone,
    etc.]
    That person has lost its significance. Attachment to that person through personal feelings have gone away.
    This.
    I had interesting proof of this over the weekend. My most recent Ex tried contacting me via Gmail instant chatting. He isn't on my contacts list so he had to request I chat with him. I was surprised to see the request since I thought I had made it extremely clear I never wanted to hear from him again. It was nice for me to see that other than a brief moment of surprise I had zero feelings for him contacting me. I just simply do not care. Made clicking the "No" button that much easier.

    I have a far easier time letting go of a grudge against people. Hate and anger are simply not worth carrying around for very long.

  5. #15
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Yeah, I was going to agree with that.. but Love is amazingly complex and can contain grudges within it. I believe that grudges are an expression of Love, or Hate, or whatever.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    If a grudge means "holding onto hate", then is "holding onto love" (i.e., having trouble letting go of relationships) its opposite?

    Do you think these two personal qualities tend to go together in a personality?
    Look at the ENFP personality. They love everybody, and have trouble leaving a relationship due to their propensity for love. INFPs too. I think that the opposite of Clingy behavior is, can anyone help mewith the wprd? Its like, the person that ends the relationship on a whim, that are self-reported 'bad at relationships', its whatever I am Hah, uhm, not avoidant, but, hmmm..Dispassionate? Its hard to find a word for it, because our culture regards independence as a positive trait, but independence to the point of never connecting to anyone is not good, and I dont know the word for that. Anybody know?

    And the opposite of grudge is....forgiving? But I never forgive, I just forget and then cant make myself angry about it anymore. Thoughts?

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