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  1. #1
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Default helping someone develop people skills

    I work in a team environment at work and basically serve as second in command on the team I'm on as well as running a team myself. I've tended to serve as the human face for the team and have a good relationship with everyone in the office no matter what team they are on and have the reputation for being the best trainer that we have anywhere. My leader is a great guy... we all trust him and he's one of the best salesmen in the country by rankings, but he has issues with developing interpersonal relationships, which are a valuable part of training people and working office politics.

    He asked me for some pointers and cues as to how to build better relationships with people and for some help with some basic people skills... I gave a few but I have no idea where on earth I'd start with that really... anyone have any tips please?
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  2. #2
    ThatGirl
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    Edit: Btw I am working on this right now too. I figure baby steps, so I am starting with diplomacy first. Lol

    Second Edit: I also notice people really like compliments. He should try complimenting one person a day on something small that it actually took time to notice.

  3. #3
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    the tips that I gave were things like when in doubt about what to discuss with someone who you don't know well don't monopolize the conversation, ask them questions and let them talk (and then mentally tune out)- people LIKE to talk about themselves... try and remember what people find to be important and ask them about it... you can get away with just about anything if you smile and laugh... let people know that you care. Some basic starter tips
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  4. #4
    ThatGirl
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    the tips that I gave were things like when in doubt about what to discuss with someone who you don't know well don't monopolize the conversation, ask them questions and let them talk (and then mentally tune out)- people LIKE to talk about themselves... try and remember what people find to be important and ask them about it... you can get away with just about anything if you smile and laugh... let people know that you care. Some basic starter tips
    Lol, just like that eh?

    Thing is if the convo is interesting, its next to impossible to get me to only listen. If it isn't I tuned out a long time ago.

    What is your boss like?

  5. #5
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    my team leader is definitley a TJ of some sort... he's very passionate about his interests, usually isn't known for listening to anyone and has a somewhat domineering personality.

    and the conversational rule that I follow when it's a good conversation is let them finish talking first and then you talk and vice versa...
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  6. #6
    Kraken down on piracy Lux's Avatar
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    What I think is the most important, is making people feel special and taking an interest in them. A big thing in my office is taking the time out of work and getting to know people personally, and remembering things that they tell you. Finding out where they want their lives to go, what their goals are. While those things are already intrinsic at work, it's a bit different out of work. People tend to say the same things in one environment, and something else, or something similar but more expansive in a more personal atmosphere.
    "It is not length of life, but depth of life." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

    "Thought breeds thought." ~ Henry David Thoreau

  7. #7
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    yes! and getting them to set goals for themselves and remembering what thier goals are and recognizing them when they hit them *making mental notes for writing down here*

    but definitley listening... it's an underrated skill
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  8. #8
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    that sounds almost EXACTLY like what he said

    the trick for me is finding out what that boundary between what is friendly and what is inappropiate... talking about the time that you got drunk and fucked a coworker at a past job, or how you overdrafted your bank account last week is not appropriate... talking about the restraunt you hope to open some day and the wonders of 80s music is perfectly acceptable as a bonding conversation

    Never talk about something that could get you in trouble or have someone lose respect for you, but be human... if they don't see you as a unique and quirky human being then they can't really identify with you and they'll always feel slightly uncomfortable
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  9. #9
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Not sure if this is productive or not but anyhow ..

    At my work we have D-Day and last time we were put into teams of 5, we didn't get the chance to chose who we wanted to be with and we were given a list of times when we had to go and complete a particular task within the morning.

    The first was lego. Someone had built something and we were able to go to the room where the lego was and spend 15 seconds looking at it. We'd then go back to the table and start building it up. We could do this 6 times and had only so long to complete the task. (Team building)

    The second was a puzzle. Only 1 pair of hands could touch the puzzle so we had to give advice as to how to put it together. (Communication)

    The third was 2 pages of logos. Simple enough, write the company name which the logo belonged to. (team work, memory and communication)

    What was cool about this was that i was working alongside people i knew but didn't actually work with. Each of us have different strengths and weaknesses and we used them to the best of our ability while in competition with the other teams. At the end we had a discussion and all concured that we'd had a brilliant time.

    Not sure if there is some way your team leader could incorporate something like this to build up his people skills.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  10. #10
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    he's good at recognizing people's skills and such... he's not good at listening to what they actually WANT to be doing though
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

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