So how does one truly achieve happiness?

[miss fortune]

have a short attention span... then things that happen that are bad don't really matter that much because something shiny just caught your attention

reward yourself

tell people when they do a good job... their smiles make it totally worth the effort

make your own fun... people who depend on other people or things for fun are the ones who are bored/boring

say thank you, and mean it... with a smile

 

[highlander]

Happiness is having a sense of peace within yourself.

 

[Elfboy]

it's not all that complicated
1) grow your skills. fuck other people at first. the most important think in your life is YOU. so take care of yourself, treat yourself well and grow your skills so you can gain the economic value/success to have the option of doing what you want
2) use them to get a bunch of money
3) gain complete autonomy and independence
4) figure out what you REALLY want to do, including
- lifestyle
- what your main "thing" is
- what you want to learn
- a to do list of crazy fun things you want to do before you die
- what is most important to you in life
5) do all of it. the world is your oyster
6) marry a beautiful man/woman with a great personality that shares you values and prefered lifestyle
7) have lots of sex
8) have plenty of time to relax, reflect and enjoy the quite moments of life
9) have a supportive group of close friends and possibly a few groups of acquaintences
10) give back if you want to (not required, but most people genuinely want to). at this point, you will have more influence to help people than most of the self-sacrificing, self righteous losers who think what they do is actually of consequence
11) express yourself however you want to
12) pamper the shit out of yourself and treat yourself like a king
13) you don't have to be a "nice guy" but you'll probably feel better if you're not a total douche bag

I can boil this down into 3 steps
1) get money
2) get autonomy
3) do whatever the fuck you want for the rest of your life

 

[Octarine]

I think the first mistake in the OP is assuming that happiness is an 'achievement', rather than a regular steady-state.

Happiness is having a sense of peace within yourself.

That sounds more like contentment.

 

[wildcat]

The people with Alzheimer's have the shortest attention span of us all. Everybody says they are so happy!

How to get Alzheimer's.

1. Drink and smoke all the time.
2. Eat trash food only.
3. Abstain from your conjugal duties.

And live happily ever after.

 

[highlander]

I can boil this down into 3 steps
1) get money
2) get autonomy
3) do whatever the fuck you want for the rest of your life

Well actually no that doesn't lead to happiness though trust me that I can understand the appeal of such a thing. Think of simple things like enjoying a day at the ocean, reading an amazing book, having an enjoyable dinner with friends or being in love. Those things are far more important I'd say.

 

[Elfboy]

the mistake most people make is the you DO need money and at least a certain degree of material possession to be happy. whether you like it or not, your circumstances do effect your health, your relationships and your brain. safety, security, sex, comfort, sleep and freedom are all things that are required to be truly happy. yes, hapiness is primarily a state of mind and it is greatly effected by the way that you think, but to think that you can be totally happy in any situation is politically correct BS with no scientific backing and no logical backing. it is nothing but an excuse the people tell themselves to validate the state of their existance and feel a sense of accomplishment without going out their and getting what they truly want. instead, they cop out and hide their real desires in their subconscious

 

[highlander]

You are right - there is a certain amount of money that is quite helpful and a lack of it does impair happiness. However, I believe the studies show that after a certain point of financial security that the amount of money one has does not have a high correlation with happiness. I don't recall how much that is but it is far less than I had imagined.

 

[Elfboy]

Well actually no that doesn't lead to happiness though trust me that I can understand the appeal of such a thing. Think of simple things like enjoying a day at the ocean, reading an amazing book, having an enjoyable dinner with friends or being in love. Those things are far more important I'd say.

step 3 includes all of that that. I never said money was required for everything that brings happiness, but it is required for several facets of it. that being said, enjoying a day at the ocean usually takes money unless you are a surfer or live with a tribe of beach combing hunter-gatherers. money essentially is options. with money, you have the option of doing expensive things or inexpensive things; without money, you can only do what is inexpensive and miss out on a lot. therefore, I've decided I want to make a lot of money because it allows you do experience more without having to make the painful either-or choices that accompany lack of financial wealth

 

[highlander]

step 3 includes all of that that. I never said money was required for everything that brings happiness, but it is required for several facets of it. that being said, enjoying a day at the ocean usually takes money unless you are a surfer or live with a tribe of beach combing hunter-gatherers. money essentially is options. with money, you have the option of doing expensive things or inexpensive things; without money, you can only do what is inexpensive and miss out on a lot. therefore, I've decided I want to make a lot of money because it allows you do experience more without having to make the painful either-or choices that accompany lack of financial wealth

Yes, I decided to make a lot of money too. Just realize what it costs you to do that and that there are tradeoffs with everything in life.

With respect to enjoying a day at the ocean, if you live in Northern California (as I once did), you can go to Stinson Beach for the day. It only costs the gas that it takes to get there. Going to the beach is only one simple example though. There are hundreds of such things to do.

 

[Elfboy]

Yes, I decided to make a lot of money too. Just realize what it costs you to do that and that there are tradeoffs with everything in life.

With respect to enjoying a day at the ocean, if you live in Northern California (as I once did), you can go to Stinson Beach for the day. It only costs the gas that it takes to get there. Going to the beach is only one simple example though. There are hundreds of such things to do.

I want the power to do spontaneous, crazy stuff like "hmm, I'm going to go to Europe for a month just because I feel like it" or "let's fly to japan for a month, take a month long kenjutsu course and have tea at an authentic tea house every day after practice". outrageous spontaneity requires large amounts of cashflow and liquid capital, the middle and lower classes cannot afford to do things like this

 

[highlander]

I want the power to do spontaneous, crazy stuff like "hmm, I'm going to go to Europe for a month just because I feel like it" or "let's fly to japan for a month, take a month long kenjutsu course and have tea at an authentic tea house every day after practice". outrageous spontaneity requires large amounts of cashflow and liquid capital, the middle and lower classes cannot afford to do things like this

Yep. I get it.

Just think about what I said.

 

[mmhmm]

i've never gone out to look for happiness because i figure it's already mine.
i guess that's why i never stay unhappy for very long.

 

[violaine]

To the OP, I think it's got to do with being able to shift perspectives.

Someone was telling me about a book they read that demarcates optimists and pessimists in terms of where each lays responsibility for the good and bad things that happen in life. An optimist will think they are responsible for the good things and that some one/thing else is responsible for the bad things. A pessimist is the opposite. Makes a lot of sense to me in terms of hacking one's own perspective.

 

[ThatGirl]

I find that a little disturbing.

 

[violaine]

^Well, hopefully you are blaming me and then it's all good.

Why disturbing?

 

[VagrantFarce]

Letting go of the past and forging ahead like a fucking bulldozer

 

[highlander]

I want the power to do spontaneous, crazy stuff like "hmm, I'm going to go to Europe for a month just because I feel like it" or "let's fly to japan for a month, take a month long kenjutsu course and have tea at an authentic tea house every day after practice". outrageous spontaneity requires large amounts of cashflow and liquid capital, the middle and lower classes cannot afford to do things like this

Here is the study I read:

http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,2016291,00.html

 

[miss fortune]

I want the power to do spontaneous, crazy stuff like "hmm, I'm going to go to Europe for a month just because I feel like it" or "let's fly to japan for a month, take a month long kenjutsu course and have tea at an authentic tea house every day after practice". outrageous spontaneity requires large amounts of cashflow and liquid capital, the middle and lower classes cannot afford to do things like this

if that's the sort of shit that is required to make you happy then I hate to break it to you but you are going to have a rather unhappy life

not to mention that money can't buy you love (just gold diggers who really only love your money)

 

[Elfboy]

if that's the sort of shit that is required to make you happy then I hate to break it to you but you are going to have a rather unhappy life

not to mention that money can't buy you love (just gold diggers who really only love your money)

why am I going to have an unhappy life? are you assuming I'm going to live like a normal person and be unhappy lol