Effectiveness of praise vs insult

[Mephistopheles]

Isn't it weird that parents protect their childs from insults, but not from praise, in fact, they often shower them in praises themselves?

 

[Nicodemus]

Isn't it weird that parents protect their childs from insults, but not from praise, in fact, they often shower them in praises themselves?

Not at all. Praise is good while insults are bad for a person's development. This applies to other animals as well (think of training a dog, for instance).

 

[Mephistopheles]

Not at all. Praise is good while insults are bad for a person's development. This applies to other animals as well (think of training a dog, for instance).

Like in the training of dogs, praise is good if combined with a achievement. Constant praise just for itself, like many parents do today(it's often even supported by so-called experts as "building up self-confidence"), is usually rather bad for the development because it makes the child lose interest in maturing, instead staying on the level you already are, or even worse, lose interest in behaving reasonable if the parents still praise them.

 

[Nicodemus]

Like in the training of dogs, praise is good if combined with a achievement. Constant praise just for itself, like many parents do today(it's often even supported by so-called experts as "building up self-confidence"), is usually rather bad for the development because it makes the child lose interest in maturing, instead staying on the level you already are, or even worse, lose interest in behaving reasonable if the parents still praise them.

I imagine a child that has constantly been praised would live a happier life than one that has constantly been insulted.

 

[Oberon]

I imagine a child that has constantly been praised would live a happier life than one that has constantly been insulted.

Bifurcation fallacy.

Neither of those children will be as happy in the long term as the one who has been praised for his achievements, critiqued for his shortcomings, and all along encouraged to do his best.

Unlimited, uncritical praise feeds the ego... that's not the way to put a child on the path to ultimate happiness.

 

[Nicodemus]

Bifurcation fallacy.

Not really. I was not trying to say that one needs nothing but praise, but rather that, if one has to chose between the two, praise is always preferable to insults.

Neither of those children will be as happy in the long term as the one who has been praised for his achievements, critiqued for his shortcomings, and all along encouraged to do his best.

I am not entirely sure what you consider 'shortcomings', but, besides that, I agree with you.

Unlimited, uncritical praise feeds the ego... that's not the way to put a child on the path to ultimate happiness.

By your own standard: Bifurcation fallacy.

 

[Oberon]

By your own standard: Bifurcation fallacy.

I'm afraid I will need you to parse this for me, then. Here's your quote:

I imagine a child that has constantly been praised would live a happier life than one that has constantly been insulted.

And here's my quote:

Unlimited, uncritical praise feeds the ego... that's not the way to put a child on the path to ultimate happiness.

I was operating under the assumption that "constant praise" and "unlimited, uncritical praise" were synonymous. Tell me how they're different, and then I'll understand how I've been misunderstanding you in this thread.

(Should anyone wonder, I'm agreeing with Victor here. Mark it on your calendars.)

 

[Nicodemus]

I was operating under the assumption that "constant praise" and "unlimited, uncritical praise" were synonymous.

They are. The point - just an aside - was that if my statement is guilty of committing a bifurcation fallacy, then so is yours. Mine, however, was not intended in the way in which you apparently read it, so it is not guilty. Yours, on the other hand, was written after you had accused mine, so if it is synonymous to what appeared to you as committing a bifurcation fallacy, then your statement actually is guilty.

 

[Oberon]

Okay, let me try this again...

[wipes rhetorical slate clean]

Option One: Raising a child with nothing but praise.
Option Two: Raising a child with nothing but insult.

I believe that both of these options yield an inferior result (less happiness over the course of the subject's lifetime) than a third option:

Option Three: Raising a child with ready praise and constructive criticism administered in a generally encouraging environment.

That's all I have to say.

 

[Nicodemus]

Well, then:

[...] I agree with you.

 

[copperfish17]

As I grew up, my parents criticized/insulted me more than they praised me - not because they don't love me, of course, but because they wanted me to achieve more... make the most of my life. This imbalance certainly drove me to work harder (in order to avoid unpleasant confrontations) in school etc. but it also drove me away from my parents emotionally for many years. In my head I understood that they didn't mean to hurt my ego/feelings and whatnot, but still I spent a lot of time licking my wounds. I will admit that I had severe self-esteem issues at one point.

I think that criticism helps a child become more successful in the long run... as long as praise is interspersed within all the criticism.

 

[Mole]

Not at all. Praise is good while insults are bad for a person's development. This applies to other animals as well (think of training a dog, for instance).

Some do train their children like dogs, while others educate them to take their place in society, and others help their children achieve their life goals.

To train our children like dogs is the abusive form of chlld rearing, while educating children to take their place in society is the authoritarian form of child rearing, and the helping mode of chlld rearing helps the child achieve their life goals.

The authoritarian form of chlld rearing is an improvemnt on the abusive mode of child rearing. And the helping mode is an improvement on the authoritarian mode.

So as we become freer and more prosperous, our modes of childrearing also improve.