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Parents Rationalize the Economic Cost of Children by Exaggerating Their Parental Joy?

Octarine

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Parents Rationalize the Economic Cost of Children by Exaggerating Their Parental Joy

Any parent can tell you that raising a child is emotionally and intellectually draining. Despite their tales of professional sacrifice, financial hardship, and declines in marital satisfaction, many parents continue to insist that their children are an essential source of happiness and fulfillment in their lives. A new study published in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science, suggests that parents create rosy pictures of parental joy as a way to justify the huge investment that kids require.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/03/110302152813.htm
http://pss.sagepub.com/content/22/2/203.abstract

I think the conclusions are quite bizarre. If you prime individuals by only concentrating on one or two aspects, then of course you are going to get different responses than if you allow them to put those findings in perspective.

Do you think these conclusions are reasonable? Does the economic aspect affect the likelihood of you having (more) planned children in the future?
 

erm

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Do you think these conclusions are reasonable?

There are many studies that have concluded parenthood does not make one happier, but instead the opposite. It follows that voluntary parents would need a rationalisation for their choice, both before and during parenthood. One of which is to follow the illusion that it will/does greatly increase happiness, but there are many others, some genuine some not.

This particular method would likely have the same effect upon anything. Induce pessimism on a person, by ignoring all the benefits and only showing the costs, of something they have already done/already do, and I'd guess you'd find the same results. It's a natural process of the mind to justify negative events in the past, which I've heard called synthetic happiness when real happiness is produced as a result, and is likely important for maintaining sanity. It wouldn't surprise me if the same were true of ongoing events.
 

highlander

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Maybe it creates happiness after they grow up and move out. Delayed gratification.
 

Totenkindly

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The large return on children due to the black-market organ prices easily justifies their raising. What's the problem? :alttongue:

Whatever. I typically see these sorts of arguments as completely a waste of time. I mean, I have my own subjective experience and perceive my relationship with my kids and their impact on me and vice versa in a particular, real, tangible way... so why on earth would I really even care what some study might say about other people... or erroneously say about my own relationships?

I also think that it's entirely credible to value an experience because of the cost one has paid for it. Whatever you sacrifice deeply for, you will treasure. That's just a human truth. Why do some marriages last a long time? Not necessarily because your partner is perfect or even the "most suitable" partner... that partner becomes special and vice versa (and happiness results) because of the investment you have both made in each other. That's an entirely valid way to proceed.

My own kids, I did make sacrifices for... and sometimes those relationships become stressful and demand much energy and commitment... but the more I invest, the more meaningful they become, not just because of the investment, but because I start to experience some of the payoff (a more intimate relationship with my children, more "happy times" together, a feeling of being connected to others, seeing my kids turn out successful and confident and actualizing their gifts, etc.)
 

erm

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Whatever. I typically see these sorts of arguments as completely a waste of time.

Wait, what argument?

I don't think anyone can deny that parenting is rather essential to the progression of humanity, and can be justified in many, many ways. It's just one of many studies trying to find what goes on mentally around it. Granted, this one is a bit pointless, but still...




...FOR SCIENCE!
 

mrcockburn

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heh. Some "rationalization". :rolli:

This is why public assistance/welfare needs to disappear. People would probably "feel incomplete" with no roof over their heads. I'd publicly fund condom/pill distribution instead.
 

nolla

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"The myth of parental joy" Ha! That study is weird... Umm... Well, I don't have kids and not planning to get them. But, the thing with this study that bugs me is the value they give to economy as the most important part of decision making. It's not that big a deal. What if they asked the question other way around: Do people rationalize their fear of having children with economic calculations?

At least to me it seems like most of the major decisions I made were stupid economically. Why do I not regret them? Partly because I don't care that much about money. But more importantly, the road I took has made me who I am and I couldn't even imagine what I would be like if I hadn't made that choice. It's not about the possible happiness related to the choice, it is about the choice making me me.
 
T

ThatGirl

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Parenting is an investment. Of course there will be costs. It isn't that we are unaware of them or feel great about it. Only that we hope our children will grow up to contribute something back to life. Whether it be becoming a good person, a successful whatever, evolutionary survival, companionship, support while older, there are many ways we assume we will benefit by investing in our kids.

I don't think it is delusional at all.

Also we do generally love our children, so it isn't a hostility based service. We WANT them to have opportunities, happiness, and to grow.
 

King sns

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http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/03/110302152813.htm
http://pss.sagepub.com/content/22/2/203.abstract

I think the conclusions are quite bizarre. If you prime individuals by only concentrating on one or two aspects, then of course you are going to get different responses than if you allow them to put those findings in perspective.

Do you think these conclusions are reasonable? Does the economic aspect affect the likelihood of you having (more) planned children in the future?

Ha! I've always been suspicious of overly joyful parents. Very suspicious, especially since I don't understand their extreme joyfulness about such a big committment. Kids are fun and all, but I noticed a lot of my friends who are parents start using this vocabulary that they never used before once they have a child. "Oh the joy of having my darling, beautiful children!" (As the kid spits up all over itself.) It's almost fake. It sounds sarcastic. And then I try to remove those thoughts from my head and tell myself that I'm sure parenting must be joyful... I just don't understand it yet because I'm not a parent.

I picture myself being more realistic like, "yea, parenting can be fun, but it has it's downsides as well."
My poor kids are going to have a complex.
 
T

ThatGirl

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Also, one point I forgot to add, I have seen people spend thousands of dollars on vet bill. Trying to cure their 18 year old dog of cancer and crap (which I would never do). I wonder if they are just pretending wanting to be a pet owner as well...
 

King sns

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Also, one point I forgot to add, I have seen people spend thousands of dollars on vet bill. Trying to cure their 18 year old dog of cancer and crap (which I would never do). I wonder if they are just pretending wanting to be a pet owner as well...

Well, pets don't talk back.
 

Totenkindly

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I don't think anyone can deny that parenting is rather essential to the progression of humanity, and can be justified in many, many ways. It's just one of many studies trying to find what goes on mentally around it. Granted, this one is a bit pointless, but still...

...FOR SCIENCE!

More like scienz! :)

Frankly, though, some of the stuff that gets studied nowadays, I'm like, wasn't there something else more valuable to actually study? It merely reminded me of the arguments about whether altruism exists or not (since maybe it's really just a form of selfishness).

Sometimes when you try to quantify an experience in order to study it, you strip it of the very intangibles driving the behavior and thus arrive at a wrong or misdirected answer.
 

Totenkindly

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Ha! I've always been suspicious of overly joyful parents. Very suspicious, especially since I don't understand their extreme joyfulness about such a big committment. Kids are fun and all, but I noticed a lot of my friends who are parents start using this vocabulary that they never used before once they have a child. "Oh the joy of having my darling, beautiful children!" (As the kid spits up all over itself.) It's almost fake. It sounds sarcastic. And then I try to remove those thoughts from my head and tell myself that I'm sure parenting must be joyful... I just don't understand it yet because I'm not a parent.

Well, I do think that it depends on one's personality. (Honestly, if *I* ever said something like that in that fashion, you can be rest assured it would be sarcasm.) I just don't want to write off a potentially authentic (even if tacky) response that some parents might experience over their kids.

I will definitely say that I reached a point in my life that, when I see my kids do something profound (they're all teens now, or close to it) or show another step toward their actualization as individuals, I can be brought to immediate tears over it. I never expected that at all. And I feel this huge outpouring of emotion regarding them... almost wonder that I could have brought them into this world and contributed to their shaping as people, but whatever they're doing now is far beyond anything I taught them.

It's like trying to teach your child how to fly, and all the basics of flying... and then one day watching them unexpectedly leap out into the air, catch the currents, and soar far higher than you might have ever thought possible. Something I imagined and possible and beautiful but couldn't quite experience or catch the details of is manifesting far beyond what I imagined, right in front of me.

(I also understand now why parents could immediately sacrifice their lives for their kids, without a second thought.)

I dunno. It's not really a choice, it's just something that exists because it does, although it was based on the fact I did choose to invest... and so then I became attached.
 

rav3n

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What are the economic benefits to reading, being a movie buff, taking care of your front lawn if you're not trying to sell it, listening to music, pretty much any hobby where you spend money for no economic return?

If people don't want children, don't have kids.
 

Lark

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People are rationalising rather than rational beings so I think they'll carry on being directed by powerful affects, emotions with ideas attached, when making decisions and inventing reasons afterwards.

Economics knows this too, while there are the proponents of logic and rational calculation theories (and they sell popular books in the airports so the ideas have gotten a head start) economics has also given the world "irrational exubberance" and "animal spirits" to explain behaviour in the economy. Its as applicable elsewhere besides financial transactions.
 

OrangeAppled

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All of my girlfriends who have kids tell me never to have children. :coffee:
 

Lark

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What are the economic benefits to reading, being a movie buff, taking care of your front lawn if you're not trying to sell it, listening to music, pretty much any hobby where you spend money for no economic return?

If people don't want children, don't have kids.

You suggesting that economic ideas or theories arent applicable beyond assets, jobs and money?

I used to think like that and I do understand why people reject the idea of a "one big theory of everything" but economics was originally a species of moral philosophy (Smith) and later had a close relationship to sociology (Marx, Durkheim, Weber, Simmel) and I do think that people in most instances try to maximise benefits and minimise expenses or costs, that's pretty simplistic but it is one example.

Decisions about having children reflect a basic cost-benefit analysis to me, I think that's why there's so many deadbeats or child deserters in the world, people dont see them as blessings, they're liabilities and chores for the most part unfortunately.
 

Stanton Moore

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Economics explains parent/child relationships about as well as chemistry explains music.
 

wolfy

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People forget that kids can do useful stuff like wash the car and dishes. "This isn't a hotel you know"
 
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