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  1. #1
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Default why do I keep becoming friends with manipulative people?

    what's wrong with me? is it the promises they make but ultimately fail to keep. Is it the denial that anythings wrong until i've invested time in them? Is it the want to have friends but not having the confidence to make actual friends?

    and by manipulative I do mean manipulative but also controlling
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  2. #2
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    So you know they're manipulative. Is this something you discover after the fact or does it just fly in your face later?

    I've been friends with people like that. But as far as I can remember, I usually see tendencies of manipulation in someone beforehand, even when it's not blatant. Like little signs that lead me to believe they're capable of it. The reason why I might stay friends sometimes is that if it's not too bad, I just like giving them the benefit of the doubt. In the times they have tried to pull something on me though, I end up fighting with them, and going my way. Most of the mistakes in my life are my own doing, not because I was dragged into situations unknowingly per se.

    I don't mean to talk about myself though. Just wondering if you can relate to that, or if things take you more by surprise..

  3. #3
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    It's like I see them treatin others with disrespect and screwing other people over but I think that they would never do that to me.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

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  5. #5
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    It's like I see them treatin others with disrespect and screwing other people over but I think that they would never do that to me.
    I don't know how to relate to that. I make little mental notes of people, I guess. For better or worse.. I might be too cautious sometimes. But it goes back a long way. Like, I always knew who and who not to loan my toys to as a kid =P And sometimes it worked against me too. I was never good with a lot of games people play in dating.. like where people manipulate and press buttons for fun. I'd get fed up and stop the breaks, because I'd see that as disrespect. So you can gather how I am when it's more serious.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    It's like I see them treatin others with disrespect and screwing other people over but I think that they would never do that to me.
    Aren't INFP's the ones that 'see the good in everyone'? Probably has something to do with it. Could be a few reasons... you might think that someone has these qualities because they've been treated poorly, and if they were just opened up to your awesomeness and understanding then they'd let their guard down. You might think you can save someone. If you are seeing them doing it with others but think they won't do it with you, then your believeing that something about you or your connection will be special. And, its true, INFP's are special people. Just not special enough to to change an asshole. No one is.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  7. #7
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Personally, when I was younger I had a pretty bad habbit of thinking I could "save someone." I was just convinced that everyone wants to be a healthy, happy person.. and that with enough love and understanding, it could be achieved. But time and experience has changed this perception quite a bit. It might come down the the ENFP's ability to recognize potential in others.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  8. #8
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    Aren't INFP's the ones that 'see the good in everyone'?
    I'm not an authority obviously, but I never liked that description. I always thought INFPs had a heightened sense of good as well as evil. I think whoever wrote that was probably an NT, who ignored Jung, and hoarded all critical capacity for himself.. and projected naivete on to INFPs (and probably ISFPs too). amirite?

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    Aren't INFP's the ones that 'see the good in everyone'? Probably has something to do with it. Could be a few reasons... you might think that someone has these qualities because they've been treated poorly, and if they were just opened up to your awesomeness and understanding then they'd let their guard down. You might think you can save someone. If you are seeing them doing it with others but think they won't do it with you, then your believeing that something about you or your connection will be special. And, its true, INFP's are special people. Just not special enough to to change an asshole. No one is.
    I can't even change a tire no matter how hard I hug it.

    @op I have had the same problem in the past. Now I have learned to be a bit more selective in my friendships. I think it's tough for INFPs to point out negativity in others if we care about the person. It has been for me... I so don't want to hurt someones feelings... Usually because it hurts me to say it and then they are hurt and then I am hurt because they are hurt.... And its just one giant infp pretzel fest of emo.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    I can't even change a tire no matter how hard I hug it.
    I know. =/ But thats where unicorns fueled with glitter come in
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

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