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Thread: why do I keep becoming friends with manipulative people?

  1. #51
    Anew Leaf


    I think you should give people a questionnaire before you befriend them.

    I have one in my head for when I meet guys to see if they are "dateworthy." Here is a sampling:

    1- How many planets are in this solar system?
    2- Do you know what AU is?
    3- Do you believe in: The Easter Bunny, The Oort Cloud, and My Theory on How to Live Forever.

    Maybe you need to have some questions too like:

    1- If you want to order pizza but I say, no I am lactose intolerant, what would you end up ordering?
    2- If you needed 5 bucks to get a treat, but you left your wallet at home, would you assume I am picking up the tab?
    3- If you moved into a house with 10 other people already living there, including your close friend who allowed you to move into his room because your life was sucking at that moment, would you steal his guitar and make him feel guilty that he didn't just offer it to you like a sacrificial lamb to a T-Rex as shown in the annals of Jurassic Park I?

  2. #52
    Senior Member Array Santosha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    6 sx
    iNfp Ni


    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    I'm wondering, if it's because I've always been an agreeable person. But growing up my parents worked full time and my brother was always fighting with my mom. Every night they'd fight about dinner and I guess I never felt like I could express my needs because my mom was always stressed and my brother was always complaining about something, so as I result I didn't want to add to the stress and just went along with whatever. Because there was enough tension in the house, so I kept quiet most of the time.
    That probably has alot to do with it. Manipulative people don't usually hang around those that call them out on their bullshit. It can be hard to do, especially if you loathe confrontation. I'd just try to be more conscious of these red flags you see popping up, and remember that the emotional drain of a manipulative friend is far worse than no friend at all.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  3. #53
    Senior Member Array Chloe's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    It's like I see them treatin others with disrespect and screwing other people over but I think that they would never do that to me.
    i have this too. maybe it's narcissistic trait? "he would never do that to me... cos.... I am special!"

    or simply.. they are not bad until they've done something bad to me (this way, i can keep thinking many ppl are good who arent, so I am happier because world has more good people).

  4. #54
    Aquaria Array mrcockburn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    3w4 sp/so


    Humans are still only animals after all. Just take a look at the societies of chimps - some level of bitchiness is simply programmed.

    It's like shitting. Everyone gets the urge, everyone does it - it's just that the "nice polite" ones delay it, while the boars in a plane's window seat will violently poke the others in his way and roar that he needs to use the crapper.
    3w4-9w1-?w6 (nearly headless nick)
    Lawful Evil


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