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  1. #141
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by guesswho View Post
    to you too
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  2. #142
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    Each one of us needs to be loved unconditionally as babies. And if we are loved uncondtionally, we can move on to meeting our further developmental needs.

    However if we are not loved unconditionally, we take these unmet needs into adulthood. And when such an early developmental need is not met, then it is likely further developmental needs will also not be met. And we will remain stunted all our lives.

    But the interesting thing is that if we live in prosperous countries with a good food supply, our bodies will grow and develop while only our psyches will be stunted.

    And in prosperous countries we get a second chance. If our mother or our parents or our carers were unable to love us unconditionally as babies, we get a second chance of unconditional love with a professional therapist.

    So babies have a normal, narcissistic need to be loved unconditionally, but if this narcissistic need is not met, the unmet need can carry over into adulthood and the narcissistic personality.
    While I agree that people who are not loved for themselves i.e. pushed by the American cultural standard to be loved for one's achievements, accomplishments, for "being special" ... and also being "cared for" by being bought things rather than spending time with the child, rather than just being loved for the essential person they are...can easily become narcissists.

    I don't know what having enough food has to do with it, though. I think a person who has enough to eat could still be loved and taught real values by their parents, and be truly cared for in a psychological and spiritual manner as well as physical.

  3. #143
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    1- still needs altruism.
    2- farmer and turnip.
    3- I have a speech impediment that makes everything I say sound sarcastic.
    4- Self-serving means to serve the self. If changing answers on subsequent tests isn't serving you, who or what is it serving.
    5- ok.
    6- example: "I mean, those with altruistic lifestyles, low self esteem, low ego or low self confidence usually don't get a whole lot done. "" just because you say "I mean" doesn't mean that the meaning of what you say gets changed. The statement sounds arrogant, and is a generalization against several groups of people.
    1- disagree. at least, I think the need for altruism is few and far between. just because I'm not willing to die for my country does not mean I'm not a patriot. (bad example, I don't consider myself a patriot either lol)
    3- it's called Introverted Feeling. you're nice most the time but you get an attitude when you are offended by something ethically. no hate here
    4- your implied accusation is false. I took the test again trying to answer how I normally would respond as opposed to responding based on my mood which I was a little guilty of the first time. arguing the legitimacy of the questions is not self serving either. the intention of changing the answers to appear more how I would like to to myself would be self serving.
    6- I concede, this was an over generalization. still, I believe there to still be a strong correlation
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  4. #144
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Smile The Needs of our Psyches

    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    While I agree that people who are not loved for themselves i.e. pushed by the American cultural standard to be loved for one's achievements, accomplishments, for "being special" ... and also being "cared for" by being bought things rather than spending time with the child, rather than just being loved for the essential person they are...can easily become narcissists.

    I don't know what having enough food has to do with it, though. I think a person who has enough to eat could still be loved and taught real values by their parents, and be truly cared for in a psychological and spiritual manner as well as physical.
    I think I was saying that in properous countries the material needs of babies are well met, but we are just learning to met the needs of their psyches.

    Or I could say we are so well off now we can devote our energies to meeting the needs of our psyches. After all we live in the therapeutic society, California has a Commission for Self Esteem, and as we look around us, we find this very site is devoted to our psyches.

    In my opinion, we come here under the aegis of MBTI to meet our psychological needs.

    So MBTI functions as a defence of the psyche, while we very, very slowly learn to meet various needs of our respective psyches that we can hardly bear to articulate.

  5. #145
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    1- welcome to Narcissismville. Population: you.
    3- the scientific name is humorous hilarious.
    4- I find it amusing that you find accusations everywhere when I am simply stating facts.
    6- Based. On. What.

  6. #146
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    P.s. Altruism doesn't have to be so dramatic as "patriotism.". I am thinking about the day to day altruism that occurs all over. Mothers caring for their children. Husbands taking on two jobs so they can provide for their family. Etc. Etc.

  7. #147
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    I'd be interested to know how therapists even get through to narcissists. They seem to be almost impossible to get through to...I mean, confront them directly and act toward them the way they act toward you or others, and they just hate you or even get aggressive in extreme cases...and otherwise it just seems like people have to pacify them or enable them. They also tend to miss underhanded mocking that other people would pick up on, you know - those little social cues that shame most people into not acting like a total twat.

    So how do you not 1) waste your time arguing with a brick wall, and also not 2) enable their monstrous asses? Because laypeople tend to do one of those two things, or just ignore the narcissist.

  8. #148
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    1- welcome to Narcissismville. Population: you.
    3- the scientific name is humorous hilarious.
    4- I find it amusing that you find accusations everywhere when I am simply stating facts.
    6- Based. On. What.
    I am unconvinced that I am a true narcissist for reasons that
    1) I do not feel entitled to better treatment or gifts of any kind. that being said, I am rather disgusted when I receive poor service if I've paid money for it. I will not allow people to sell me short
    2) I'm at least moderately empathetic and very affectionate
    3) I enjoy finding out when I'm wrong. the problem is that so few people are willing to tell me or fail to point out specifically what is wrong (welcome to being enneatype 8 lol)
    4) I have respect for people do frequently factor in their well being to my decisions as needed
    5) while I do consider myself extremely superior it doesn't mean that I consider others inferior. they can do what they want, but I only accept the best and I intend to get it.
    however, I will admit that I have a strongly narcissistic personality and I am now considering the possibiility of getting professionally evaluated for narcissism once I have sufficient capital

    in regards to your other post, you have mentioned on the the exceptions in which I feel being altruistic is very crucial, and that's family. even then though, a mother benefits from raising a child on many levels, but lets just keep it simple and say that she loves her child and that feeling is very satisfying. also, raising a child is accepting responsibility for a decision to have kids usually. it has more to do with fullfilling responsibilities you've agreed to than altruism in most cases

    Edit: in regards to point 5, there are a few exceptions to this that I struggle with as mentioned in a previous posts, but my overall philosophy is not that other people are inferior
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  9. #149
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    I am unconvinced that I am a true narcissist for reasons that
    1) I do not feel entitled to better treatment or gifts of any kind. that being said, I am rather disgusted when I receive poor service if I've paid money for it. I will not allow people to sell me short
    2) I'm at least moderately empathetic and very affectionate
    3) I enjoy finding out when I'm wrong. the problem is that so few people are willing to tell me or fail to point out specifically what is wrong (welcome to being enneatype 8 lol)
    4) I have respect for people do frequently factor in their well being to my decisions as needed
    5) while I do consider myself extremely superior it doesn't mean that I consider others inferior. they can do what they want, but I only accept the best and I intend to get it.
    however, I will admit that I have a strongly narcissistic personality and I am now considering the possibiility of getting professionally evaluated for narcissism once I have sufficient capital

    in regards to your other post, you have mentioned on the the exceptions in which I feel being altruistic is very crucial, and that's family. even then though, a mother benefits from raising a child on many levels, but lets just keep it simple and say that she loves her child and that feeling is very satisfying. also, raising a child is accepting responsibility for a decision to have kids usually. it has more to do with fullfilling responsibilities you've agreed to than altruism in most cases

    Edit: in regards to point 5, there are a few exceptions to this that I struggle with as mentioned in a previous posts, but my overall philosophy is not that other people are inferior
    On what grounds do you say that you are "extremely superior"? It seems on par with TG's statement that she's almost never wrong.

    Or whats-her-name's assertion that she knows somehow (magically?) that I'm not altruistic or wouldn't retain my rational philosophical belief in social democracy if I were very wealthy?

    Today isn't Sunday. It's Delusionalday.

  10. #150
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    On what grounds do you say that you are "extremely superior"? It seems on par with TG's statement that she's almost never wrong.
    Or whats-her-name's assertion that she knows somehow (magically?) that I'm not altruistic or wouldn't retain my rational philosophical belief in social democracy if I were very wealthy?

    Today isn't Sunday. It's Delusionalday.
    not in the least. I admit I'm wrong all the time. I would not trully be superior if my superiority was based in my being right. if that were the case, being superior would be almost impossible without decades of constant, fast paced learning and experience. if my superiority was based in anything external, I would not feel superior at all. I am a 19 year old, broke, normal looking, naive and experience lacking college student whom is not physically successful by any stretch of the word. if I were broke on the streets of India, wearing wraps and shoveling poop for a living, I would still feel just as superior as I do now. I am superior because I value myself, love myself unconditionally and because I choose to think I'm superior. it's really that simple, anyone can do it.
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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