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  1. #1
    Epiphany
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    Default What Does Insecurity Mean To You?

    I hear the word insecurity used frequently to describe the motivations for different, often completely opposite, behaviors. Sometimes it is used synonymously with low self-esteem or a lack of confidence, but I think it is often used in black and white terms, such as, this person is insecure and that person isn't, whereas much of it is circumstantial and may not even be consistent within the same person. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and sometimes the more pronounced a person's syrengths are, the more pronounced their flaws are. A truly secure person doesn't deny their weaknesses, but learns to manage them with their strengths to create a healthy balance. Too often people, men in particular, are encouraged to hide their weaknesses and the result is a deeply insecure and delusional individual.

    Oftentimes, certain traits are viewed as indicators of insecurity when it may be the exact opposite. A person who is quiet natured and contemplative doesn't necessarily have low self-esteem. Perhaps, they are self-contained and content and feel no reason to draw attention to themselves. On the otheer hand, perhaps they are timid because they fear rejection or criticism. A lot of times, people who are loud, outgoing, and socially suave are viewed as having high self-esteem, though plenty of people exhibit these traits because they are seeking validation from others and are not self-content. By that, I don't mean in regards to companionship, but a need for social status. That's just one example of how opposite behaviors can indicate self-security in one person and insecurity in another.

    It makes sense that a person who is approaching unfamiliar territory would be a bit apprehensive or reserved until they have a sufficient reason to proceed with certainty and the utmost confidence, but I've heard the term "insecure" used in reference to people who exercise more caution than carelessness.

    I think people can be sufficiently confident in one aspect and less secure in another without the word "insecure" being entirely applicable. I see it more as a sliding scale. Im wary of the person who constantly needs to assert their happiness, success, status, etc. If they were truly satisfied then they wouldn't need to broadcast it and seek validation.

    I hope this made sense. There were a lot of ideas thrown in there and I typed it on my phone.

  2. #2
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Hm.. Insecurity is one of the colder things that plague my life.

    You know how language tends to use the same words in various ways because they attach themselves to it? Like how Eskimos have a jazillion words for 'Snow'. It permeates their life in such a way that it's common to have a wide range of it.

    English doesn't really have adequate words to describe all the different insecurities I see in my world. Adjectives preceeding it is the best I can do. Financial insecurity, insecurities in the self, insecurities in mortality... but they do all have one of two roots for me.

    Insecurity, to me, means one of two things: Either there is a chance of (or there definitely is) a lack of control over a situation. Or, there is a chance I will lose that control even though I currently have it.
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  3. #3
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    I agree with you.

    Also, I think it's weird when people use the word "insecure" as an insult. I mean, it's a sad thing if someone is insecure. It means they aren't secure in themselves, or their place with other people. It's sad.

    Though it can be tough not to use the word insecure as an insult when someone is being mean, or acting conceited or narcissistic because of their insecurity, because then it hurts others. It's like they try to make other people feel insecure so they feel more secure.

    How very vexing, people running around and stealing each other's energy.

    Let's all just love each other. (Easier said than done, I know).

  4. #4

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    IME insecurity manifests as self-sabotage or image-inflation, so it can be tricky to pinpoint.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  5. #5
    Epiphany
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    I think society tends to breed insecurity, as well, to capitalize on it. God forbid if people were content with themselves and didn't constantly feel a need for competition to derive their self-worth.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mask Manifest View Post
    I think society tends to breed insecurity, as well, to capitalize on it. God forbid if people were content with themselves and didn't constantly feel a need for competition to derive their self-worth.
    EXACTLY. I'm reading a lot about Taoism at the moment, and something in the Tao of Pooh (precious, I know, but I'm learning from it) discusses how people want to go out and buy or get Important and Happy. They can't just shift their perspective to feel important and happy where they are and with what they have. And there in lies the problem, and capitalism....capitalizes on that.

  7. #7
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    It is a plague.. I know it rots at me from time to time. I have a constant struggle with being afraid to be the center of attention.. I falter.. because being the center of attention is sometimes the worst place to be in terms of controlling the situation I am in. It CAN be a strong position.. but I've found more often than not it is not as strong as it seems. But even so.. I get by happy and deal with the demon. Sometimes it scares me, but most times I can best it.

    Not to sound .. hm.. whatever the word I am looking for is..

    But it is VERY hard to be secure in the self, if anything else. There are so many people that judge.. "Fat people are disgusting." "Skinny women look like little boys." "Those sort of people are grotesque." Those sort of thoughts are aimlessly thrown around.. Ive heard the first one so many times it makes my head spin. It isn't just a matter of liking yourself.. you can like yourself and still be insecure around others.. people aren't as accepting as your own self can be.
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  8. #8
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Insecurity is the NEED for validation. Most people enjoy validation but some need it to maintain self-esteem levels, so they pretzel themselves to get it.

  9. #9
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mask Manifest View Post
    I hear the word insecurity used frequently to describe the motivations for different, often completely opposite, behaviors. Sometimes it is used synonymously with low self-esteem or a lack of confidence, but I think it is often used in black and white terms, such as, this person is insecure and that person isn't, whereas much of it is circumstantial and may not even be consistent within the same person. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and sometimes the more pronounced a person's syrengths are, the more pronounced their flaws are. A truly secure person doesn't deny their weaknesses, but learns to manage them with their strengths to create a healthy balance. Too often people, men in particular, are encouraged to hide their weaknesses and the result is a deeply insecure and delusional individual.

    Oftentimes, certain traits are viewed as indicators of insecurity when it may be the exact opposite. A person who is quiet natured and contemplative doesn't necessarily have low self-esteem. Perhaps, they are self-contained and content and feel no reason to draw attention to themselves. On the otheer hand, perhaps they are timid because they fear rejection or criticism. A lot of times, people who are loud, outgoing, and socially suave are viewed as having high self-esteem, though plenty of people exhibit these traits because they are seeking validation from others and are not self-content. By that, I don't mean in regards to companionship, but a need for social status. That's just one example of how opposite behaviors can indicate self-security in one person and insecurity in another.

    It makes sense that a person who is approaching unfamiliar territory would be a bit apprehensive or reserved until they have a sufficient reason to proceed with certainty and the utmost confidence, but I've heard the term "insecure" used in reference to people who exercise more caution than carelessness.

    I think people can be sufficiently confident in one aspect and less secure in another without the word "insecure" being entirely applicable. I see it more as a sliding scale. Im wary of the person who constantly needs to assert their happiness, success, status, etc. If they were truly satisfied then they wouldn't need to broadcast it and seek validation.

    I hope this made sense. There were a lot of ideas thrown in there and I typed it on my phone.
    I think insecurity is all the same thing, it just presents itself in different actions. You can't really define "insecurity" with one action or another. "This person is quiet because he's insecure, this person is quiet because he has nothing to say." Can be correct statements of two different people, which is why you can't define insecurity in terms of behaviors at all. Insecurity is just feeling uncomfortable or unsure of one aspect or another of ones self. (My own words. Please don't get all wiki and webstery on me.) The definition is all the same, it just covers a broad spectrum of behaviors and reactions.
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  10. #10
    Senior Member Beargryllz's Avatar
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    It's like, where something should be enough, but is mistaken for not being enough. A lack of insight, combined with at least a mild amount of anxiety. I know a lot about this sort of thing.

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