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  1. #11
    Senior Member mochajava's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    Insecurity is the NEED for validation. Most people enjoy validation but some need it to maintain self-esteem levels, so they pretzel themselves to get it.
    This is an excellent description.

    Also - capitalizing on insecurity? Yes - that is exactly why advertising can generate so much dough

  2. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    Insecurity is the NEED for validation. Most people enjoy validation but some need it to maintain self-esteem levels, so they pretzel themselves to get it.
    I was thinking about that the other day. Now and again I need validation for something, typically something I am learning. It bugs me that I need validation. Someone to rub my head and say I'm doing okay.

    I guess we all have our little addictions.

  3. #13
    Senior Member mochajava's Avatar
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    ^ At least you're not going on 50 and seeking validation from your children

  4. #14
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    I don't see what is so wrong with validation. I commonly find many miscommunications/arguments between people stem from a lack of validation in their statements.. even if the statement itself is accurate/meaning well.. if it invalidates the other person's, it'll flare out into something bigger than it needs to be.

    Validation isn't so bad in and of itself...
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  5. #15
    Senior Member mochajava's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    I don't see what is so wrong with validation. I commonly find many miscommunications/arguments between people stem from a lack of validation in their statements.. even if the statement itself is accurate/meaning well.. if it invalidates the other person's, it'll flare out into something bigger than it needs to be.

    Validation isn't so bad in and of itself...
    Agreed. Seeking validation is fine. Demanding it is when things start to be problematic.

  6. #16

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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Validation isn't so bad in and of itself...
    To want validation is human. It is the expression of needs that can be problematic. Then what happens when a need is not met and the expression is problematic. You can't exactly ask for validation. "Hey! Praise me already!" Even if you get a response it isn't going to quench your thirst. It's more likely to be a bit like a glass of salty water. It'll leave you wanting more.

    It's better to pull back a bit, pay attention and be aware of others and at the same time cultivate your own style.

  7. #17
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    To want validation is human. It is the expression of needs that can be problematic. Then what happens when a need is not met and the expression is problematic. You can't exactly ask for validation. "Hey! Praise me already!" Even if you get a response it isn't going to quench your thirst. It's more likely to be a bit like a glass of salty water. It'll leave you wanting more.

    It's better to pull back a bit, pay attention and be aware of others and at the same time cultivate your own style.
    It's by degrees wolfy. How far or low will an individual go to get that validation? This doesn't sound like the little I know of you.

  8. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    It's by degrees wolfy. How far or low will an individual go to get that validation? This doesn't sound like the little I know of you.
    It is by degrees. How far or low a person will go is what I mean by the expression of needs can be a problem. I doubt I am very high on the needy scale but it is something I have thought about. I remember doing some kind of test about why I do things. It was applause, that ties in with an artisans need for impact. So there is some of that in me.

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