User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 26

  1. #1
    likes this gromit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    6,652

    Default What we admire in others...

    In this enneagram book I have, it was talking about how we often idealize other people, see qualities in others that we wish we had. Then it said that the characteristics we admire in others are in fact characteristics we already posses but don’t recognize in ourselves.

    What do you think of this? Have you noticed it in your life or noticed it in other people? I don't know if I believe it/agree with it or not based on my own experience...
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  2. #2
    ThatGirl
    Guest

    Default

    Assuming it is not an extreme personal talent (I'll probably never be a savant), I would agree.

  3. #3
    Senior Member syndatha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    3w2
    Socionics
    ENFJ
    Posts
    256

    Default

    I agree with the OP
    If you have no contact with the specific qualities in yourself, you wouldn't be able to recognise them in others
    I have no sense of humour.

  4. #4
    morose bourgeoisie
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    3,859

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by gromit View Post
    In this enneagram book I have, it was talking about how we often idealize other people, see qualities in others that we wish we had. Then it said that the characteristics we admire in others are in fact characteristics we already posses but don’t recognize in ourselves.

    What do you think of this? Have you noticed it in your life or noticed it in other people? I don't know if I believe it/agree with it or not based on my own experience...
    I don't think it's always true. I admire lots of people whose talents took a lifetime to develop. It's too late for me to develop to that extent, but I still admire what they accomplished.
    Having said that, I do believe that friendships are based on something like what you describe.

  5. #5
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    enfp
    Enneagram
    6w7 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    6,748

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by gromit View Post
    In this enneagram book I have, it was talking about how we often idealize other people, see qualities in others that we wish we had. Then it said that the characteristics we admire in others are in fact characteristics we already posses but don’t recognize in ourselves.

    What do you think of this? Have you noticed it in your life or noticed it in other people? I don't know if I believe it/agree with it or not based on my own experience...
    I agree partially. Qualities that I admire in others are ones that I at least feel like I can strive for. I had mentioned in the thread about "looking like another type" that the types of people I admire have qualities that I see in myself, that just aren't as developed as I want them to be. It's more exciting to look up to someone when you think that perhaps someday, you can achieve whatever they have achieved.

    Though sometimes I've noticed myself admiring qualities that I don't have much of a capability for at all.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

  6. #6

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    I agree partially. Qualities that I admire in others are ones that I at least feel like I can strive for. I had mentioned in the thread about "looking like another type" that the types of people I admire have qualities that I see in myself, that just aren't as developed as I want them to be. It's more exciting to look up to someone when you think that perhaps someday, you can achieve whatever they have achieved.

    Though sometimes I've noticed myself admiring qualities that I don't have much of a capability for at all.
    This.

    I tend to admire the opposite type's strengths and also the strengths of my own type. But I know the two go hand in hand. And to embody just the strengths of one and not the strengths of the other will lead to an overall weakness of character.

    However, this is often easier said than done.

  7. #7
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INtp
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/so
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    5,091

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by gromit View Post
    In this enneagram book I have, it was talking about how we often idealize other people, see qualities in others that we wish we had. Then it said that the characteristics we admire in others are in fact characteristics we already posses but don’t recognize in ourselves.

    What do you think of this? Have you noticed it in your life or noticed it in other people? I don't know if I believe it/agree with it or not based on my own experience...
    Partially agree/disagree.

    I tend to admire people who are go-getters, who are exceptionally resilient, who are true to themselves regardless of what others have to say about it, who are very ingenious and creative, and who are charismatic and entertaining.

    I think all of these qualities I have to some degree but probably not to the degree of the people I admire. For example, I don't know if I'd ever have the degree of self-discipline or intense focus to accomplish things to a degree that the go-getters I admire do.

    I'm resilient to some degree but there are limits. At some point I'm apt to get discouraged and give up. It's about raising the threshold to a higher level so I don't get discouraged or tempted to give up quite so soon.

    Regarding ingenuity/creativity, I have good ideas sometimes but I don't see them as exceptionally original. I welcome out of the box thinking and admire such thinkers but I don't know if my thinking is all that out of the box. I'm not creative in the artistic sense and probably won't ever be talented in certain artistic realms but I still greatly admire creators of such artistic works.

    I care too much what others think so to some extent I put up a front when around certain people. I try to do it in a way though, so I can preserve as much authenticity as possible and so I don't completely have to act like someone I'm not. Hope that made sense.

    Regarding charisma, I think I may underestimate myself in this area. I'm not charismatic to the degree that Bill Clinton or someone like that is and probably never will be but I have been told on occasion that I do have my own brand of personal charm that comes out once someone gets to know me.

    As far as being entertaining goes, I'm not an entertainer in the literal sense of the word but I am capable of being entertaining in terms of just being fun to be with or being a good conversationalist. Again, it's probably an area I underestimate myself in. I think I see myself as less interesting than others see me sometimes.
    INtp
    5w6 or 9w1 sp/so/sx, I think
    Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff
    Neutral Good
    LII-Ne




  8. #8
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    enfp
    Enneagram
    6w7 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    6,748

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SuchIrony View Post
    Partially agree/disagree.

    I tend to admire people who are go-getters, who are exceptionally resilient, who are true to themselves regardless of what others have to say about it, who are very ingenious and creative, and who are charismatic and entertaining.
    This is the type of person I admire as well! I notice these qualities in myself but it's more of a stretch to reach them, like a second language. I can go a full day with applying to schools, planning smart and inventive uses for my money studying, reading, planning my next move (maybe even actually attending meetings at work which I normally skip...) and genuinely becoming a better person. I feel these qualities in myself and it's an exciting challenge when I can reach them. And even more exciting to see people who access these qualities every morning when they wake up.

    But in my natural state of being I'm more likely to spend the day hanging around on the beach, going shopping, talking on the phone, tanning, bringing my dog to the nursing home, joking around and giggling and wasting time getting caught up in frivolous conversations, taking pictures and scrapbooking... I like anyone with good qualities that I personally possess (caring, artistically inclined, entertaining, laid back, spontaneous, and fun, and contented with things), but they aren't qualities that I immediately "admire" per se.

    So though the people that I truly admire may appear very different from me on the outside, they have qualities that I feel that I can access deep within me... if I find that I truly don't have certain qualities that other people have, it's hard to really admire them since it's hard to see where they could ever be useful.

    I do notice that I tend to admire very curious people- people with lots of interest and want knowledge for the sake of knowledge.. (Ne people, if you will.) These are qualities that I just don't possess at all. I'm a knowledge for the sake of advancement type of person. However, I don't admire these qualities nearly as much as I do the others mentioned above. It's more just a quality that I find interesting.

    Edit: Thanks, Gromit, for making a thread that reminds me about who I want to be. Now I'm motivated to get off this darn computer for the day finally!
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    2,204

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by gromit View Post
    In this enneagram book I have, it was talking about how we often idealize other people, see qualities in others that we wish we had. Then it said that the characteristics we admire in others are in fact characteristics we already posses but don’t recognize in ourselves.

    What do you think of this? Have you noticed it in your life or noticed it in other people? I don't know if I believe it/agree with it or not based on my own experience...
    I didnt notice it tbh.

    I mean, I admire both; characteristics I dont have and I have but I dont express enough, in others. Most times I admire what I have but have hard time expressing (haha, this is the same like your book says, but not always), for example, i admire when people are not image-consciuos and whose mood doesnt depend on how successfull they are, bc my mood is totally related to that. but enneagram says whats your biggest blind spot is your potenital strenght. so, my strenght would be to overcome my success-obsession and be totally above it...

  10. #10
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INtp
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/so
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    5,091

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    I like anyone with good qualities that I personally possess (caring, artistically inclined, entertaining, laid back, spontaneous, and fun, and contented with things), but they aren't qualities that I immediately "admire" per se.
    Same here. I don't immediately admire 'kind' people for example. This is an example of a quality I know I possess to a good degree. I guess its one of those qualities I take for granted and sometimes feel like anybody could be kind so what's special about it?

    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    So though the people that I truly admire may appear very different from me on the outside, they have qualities that I feel that I can access deep within me... if I find that I truly don't have certain qualities that other people have, it's hard to really admire them since it's hard to see where they could ever be useful.
    Interesting. I've never thought about it like that but you may be right. I'm trying to find examples of traits that I know I completely lack, yet admire in others and I can't think of any examples. I can think of qualities I lack that I don't admire in others far more easily.

    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    I do notice that I tend to admire very curious people- people with lots of interest and want knowledge for the sake of knowledge.. (Ne people, if you will.) These are qualities that I just don't possess at all. I'm a knowledge for the sake of advancement type of person. However, I don't admire these qualities nearly as much as I do the others mentioned above. It's more just a quality that I find interesting.
    It's interesting to see the ESFP perspective because I would never think to admire curiosity. For me, its always been a quality I've had in spades, that I take for granted. I used to wrongly assume others would possess it to the level I did and disappointed to find they didn't.
    INtp
    5w6 or 9w1 sp/so/sx, I think
    Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff
    Neutral Good
    LII-Ne




Similar Threads

  1. [NF] NFs: What do you admire in others?
    By StephMC in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 36
    Last Post: 09-08-2017, 05:44 PM
  2. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 11-07-2014, 02:04 PM
  3. What we do in the shadows
    By Haven in forum Popular Culture and Type
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-24-2014, 02:49 AM
  4. [ENFP] What do ENFPs find attractive in other people?
    By Edasich in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 137
    Last Post: 06-05-2013, 11:35 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO