What we admire in others...

[Rail Tracer]

Not always. I think we can also admire others in ways that they complement/supplement the qualities of ourselves. I would dare to say that I am as self-disciplined and hardworking as other people. In some ways, yes. In other ways... definitely not.


Hell, if I was really that independent(don't have to always ask for advice and go in my own direction) and willing to risk what I have for what I want ("stability" for something else), I wouldn't be here right now. Sometimes I also admire stubborn and loud people as these type of people tend to say what they need to say. Am I stubborn and loud? Stubborn, probably. Loud? Good luck seeing me being loud.

Remember the saying that what we find repulsive in others could also be something we have in ourselves as it reminds us of the qualities that we don't want in ourselves, but we have it anyways.

Now that I think about it, this is starting to sound like disintegration and integration. >.<

 

[Arclight]

In this enneagram book I have, it was talking about how we often idealize other people, see qualities in others that we wish we had. Then it said that the characteristics we admire in others are in fact characteristics we already posses but don’t recognize in ourselves.

What do you think of this? Have you noticed it in your life or noticed it in other people? I don't know if I believe it/agree with it or not based on my own experience...

I feel it's a mix of both.
I admire people for all sorts of reasons.

 

[PH.]

What I admire in people are qualities I wish I had, but haven't or have in a very underdeveloped way. On the other hand, I dislike people who are opposite of these qualities.

For example, I am quite true to myself and admire people who are very true to themselves, who have a strong sense of individuality and so forth. I detest people who try to be different than who they really are. I call them "fake" people. People who want to be something because others want them to be like that. People who say things they don't really believe. Those people really get me itchy, frustrated and annoyed. I try to avoid them as much as possible, because they irritate me so much. It's almost as if, because I don't like that quality, I am afraid of myself becoming like that. (not that I think it will rub off on me or something...)

But I also generally admire accomplished people, regardless of personality features

 

[VagrantFarce]

I think people in this thread need to understand the difference between skillsets and personality traits. Admiring someone who's good at the piano is different to admiring someone for being graceful or creative. One is innate, the other isn't - we're talking about the former.

This all reminds me of The Wizard of Oz, e.g. The Cowardly Lion wants to be courageous, but thinks of himself as anxious and cowardly. What he learns in the end is that courage isn't something you acquire, it's entirely innate - he just never had the perspective to see it in himself. It's the same with the Scarecrow and the Tin Man.

 

[gromit]

How does one learn to recognize it?

 

[VagrantFarce]

How does one learn to recognize it?

By stepping backward, and then moving slightly to the left.

Or by being put in a position that forces you to recognise it. You either keep deluding yourself, or you don't. Make the right choice and you may surprise yourself.

I apologise if this seems cryptic. >.< I think the answer may be different for everybody.