• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

Boosting Your Confidence in 10 Min or Less

T

ThatGirl

Guest
So....

I am about to hit the door to turn in resumes and interview employers, and I realized I have absolutely no confidence right now. Basically this is my attitude:

TG: Are you going to finally give me a fucking decent job or not?

Employer: No

TG: Yeah, I didn't think so....

TG: You know what, I am not arguing with you!



Where as before this was how I approached the situation:

TG: Hi, I am TG, your new employee.

Employer: Lol, Impressive.

TG: Thank you.

Employer: When can you start?


Anyway, so the only thing missing in this scenario is a little confidence, and extroversion. How do you psych yourself out? Give your confidence and healthy boost? What are your strategies?

Everyone does it. Before a date, before an interview, before a performance, etc.

Anyway, just curious to hear how you guys go about it?
 

chickpea

perfect person
Joined
Sep 12, 2009
Messages
5,729
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
go to the bathroom and "powder your nose"
 

FDG

pathwise dependent
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
5,903
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
7w8
I don't fully understand your example. Either you possess the required skills, or you don't. If you do, minimal pampering is required. If you don't, better stay away from that job.
 

INTP

Active member
Joined
Jul 31, 2009
Messages
7,803
MBTI Type
intp
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx
dunno, i just try not to think about this kind of stuff and just do it. if i start to think about that kind of stuff, ill start over analyzing it and see where i might mess up so clearly that i cant do the actual thing. if i try to do any sort of psyching, ill instantly start to over analyze and get anxious and maybe fail to work correctly because of the anxiety.

trying to act confident doesent really work for me, i just need to do what i went there to do.

i got one tip for you tho. you dont go there to interview the employer, you go there to be interviewed by the employer. find out as possible as much what the job is about and show that you want this job. ask questions about the job if you dont know something, it shows that you care about the job and they want someone who wants the job.
 
G

garbage

Guest
I don't fully understand your example. Either you possess the required skills, or you don't. If you do, minimal pampering is required. If you don't, better stay away from that job.

For some, what it takes is a realization that they actually do have those skills. Or knowing what they're actually worth.

If they really don't have qualifications but choose to lie about them, though, then they deserve to be nervous.


I just went through all of this with a friend of mine who was nervous about an interview. After I reminded her that she got great reviews at her previous job, that she managed to land a managerial role after a mere year of experience, and that the company reaallly wanted someone with her qualifications, things suddenly weren't so nerve-wracking for her. She managed to land the job after simply talking about herself and her experiences during the interview.

So.. I guess one way to boost confidence is to have a good support network?
 

kyuuei

Emperor/Dictator
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
13,964
MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
8
I take confidence in the fact that I can adapt to any situation. I can learn anything fairly quickly, whether I like the thing I am learning or not. At least when it comes to jobs.

When it comes to dates, I sorta just pretend we're friends hanging out.. if I don't, I get so shy that I'll just faceplant into the dinner table hard enough to knock myself out. :doh:
 

rav3n

.
Joined
Aug 6, 2010
Messages
11,655
I don't fully understand your example. Either you possess the required skills, or you don't. If you do, minimal pampering is required. If you don't, better stay away from that job.
Basic supply and demand.

TG, answer the questions honestly and while it doesn't guarantee a job, it will ensure there's less to lie about if you're hired. Also, an interview goes two ways. You're both pitching to each other where there's no inferior or superior. If you have the skills they need, ensure they're made aware of them stated in a matter-of-fact way. I'd avoid any kind of arrogance in this employer's market since the corporate climate is focused on team players who are consistent and reliable performers.
 

Beargryllz

New member
Joined
Jun 7, 2010
Messages
2,719
MBTI Type
INTP
I don't fully understand your example. Either you possess the required skills, or you don't. If you do, minimal pampering is required. If you don't, better stay away from that job.

But how does someone else know you have the required skills? You know yourself better than anyone ever will, and it's hard to convey all you know and all you are to a complete stranger in 30 seconds or less. Come on...
 

Arclight

Permabanned
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
3,177
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
But how does someone else know you have the required skills? You know yourself better than anyone ever will, and it's hard to convey all you know and all you are to a complete stranger in 30 seconds or less. Come on...

No.. but most employers are going to pass a judgment on you in about that amount of time. If you don't make an instant first impression of the highest order, you are not going to get the job.. I hired people for 6 years, so I even have a little experience here.

Walking in with no sense of self confidence does not make a good first impression.. I only ever hired 2 people because I felt sorry for them, And I should have learned after the 1st time.
 

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
I spread my legs. Opening up myself physically quickly improves my confidence. Holding my fingertips together calms me. Opening up yourself physically slightly raises T levels.
 

Ghost of the dead horse

filling some space
Joined
Sep 7, 2007
Messages
3,553
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Here's a problem. I normally do no confidence boosts. My unboost confidence is good for mostly anything. I do have a great problem with job interviews. Hence I'm prone to over- or under-exaggarate my confidence, and I haven't found a good solution yet, though I think I'm about 80-95% close to a solution.

Will report more if I remember this thread then.
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
Hm, that ought to land me a job.

Walk into potential employers office.....

Spread legs.



:p
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
Here's a problem. I normally do no confidence boosts. My unboost confidence is good for mostly anything. I do have a great problem with job interviews. Hence I'm prone to over- or under-exaggarate my confidence, and I haven't found a good solution yet, though I think I'm about 80-95% close to a solution.

Will report more if I remember this thread then.

Yeah, I may have actually come off more likable. People wanted to speak with me longer than usual.
 

Quinlan

Intriguing....
Joined
Apr 6, 2008
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
What an honest Quinlan interview would look like:

Employer: Why do you want to work for us?

Quinlan: Because I need the money.

Employer: Next!
 

nightning

ish red no longer *sad*
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
3,741
MBTI Type
INfj
Anyway, so the only thing missing in this scenario is a little confidence, and extroversion. How do you psych yourself out? Give your confidence and healthy boost? What are your strategies?

Everyone does it. Before a date, before an interview, before a performance, etc.

Anyway, just curious to hear how you guys go about it?

You confuse me TG... you really should be hunting for jobs that suits you and your skill set. If you know/feel that you're a good fit, then your confidence should come naturally.

I've gone in for 3 interviews last week... mind you they're only for internship positions, but I impressed people enough to get multiple offers.

What I found really helpful
1. Try to put yourself in their shoes. Based on their job description, what problems are they trying to solve by hiring somebody? Make sure you mention your skills that best solve these problems during the interview.

2. Background research! They're looking for somebody that will fit well with their current staff. If you can reflect the company's culture / speak their "lingo", they're think that "Yes, TG will not require much training and start helping us out pretty much right after we hire her".

3. Practice practice practice! Most companies ask similar types of questions, so you might as well practice and figure out how you'll answer them before you go in. Not needing to come up with answers on the spot makes your delivery that much smoother. You'll come off all the more confident.
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
It isn't about my skill set, or the job. It is about my hessitating before I even walk through the door, or leave the house.

Which I know is attributed to other things, that I am sorting through, but whatever, I will work it out. For right now, I would rather not walk into meeting potential employers while projecting off the attitude that I have forced myself to be there. Potentially burning bridges by acting before I feel inclined to do so.

So I either hold off on the job search for now, or I psych myself out, fake a little confidence, and hope I catch up by the time things start rolling in.

I just don't want the first impression I make right now to be the deer in the headlight look and that is exactly what I am giving.

I really don't know how to explain it.


Also, I very much wear my mood on my sleeve, and suck at faking emotions or inner feelings. So I actually have to get myself to believe in this, in order for it to have an effective result.
 

nightning

ish red no longer *sad*
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
3,741
MBTI Type
INfj
It isn't about my skill set, or the job. It is about my hessitating before I even walk through the door, or leave the house.

Which I know is attributed to other things, that I am sorting through, but whatever, I will work it out. For right now, I would rather not walk into meeting potential employers while projecting off the attitude that I have forced myself to be there. Potentially burning bridges by acting before I feel inclined to do so.

So I either hold off on the job search for now, or I psych myself out, fake a little confidence, and hope I catch up by the time things start rolling in.

I just don't want the first impression I make right now to be the deer in the headlight look and that is exactly what I am giving.

I really don't know how to explain it.

I think you just need practice... if you have a good friend with time on his/her hands, ask them to do a mock interview with you.

Then just find and apply for random jobs at places you don't really care about... interview there for practice. Once you got a few interviews under your belt, you'll feel less nervous.

Heck, I see interviews the same as presenting in front of an audience... it's just acting.
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
Thanks for the advice Nightning, and everyone in this thread. Much appreciated.
 

INTP

Active member
Joined
Jul 31, 2009
Messages
7,803
MBTI Type
intp
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx
tg i think you should try that leg spreading thing, it works even better with women than men
 
Top