What's it like to be a Feeler?

[Jack Flak]

I ate a Lite Brite!

Post of the year, ladies and gentlemen!

 

[kyuuei]

It rocks.

..Well, to put it in a bit more words. It really rocks.

>.o but seriously.. I have no idea how to detach my emotions. I am literally *incapable* of thinking about something without my emotions getting involved. You'll see in my posts I'll constantly say "I feel this..".. because it is the same as thinking to me. It got me into a nasty little spat with BlueWing, who kept yelling at me that feelings were not related to the subject!

The few times I am emotionally detached, it's survival mode. There's no thinking involved, it goes straight from morally-logical to instinct.

 

[GinKuusouka]

Hmmm... I'm not sure if this is quite what you meant or not, but I'm going to give this a go. (Mind you, I'm in a semi-depressed mood at the moment, just so you realize that may color what I'm about to say at least a little bit.)

I am able to comprehend things and think them through, with some effort. And sometimes I can put my feelings to the side to do so. But that actually hurts me. Not to the point of where I feel physical pain. It's more like the pain of hearing a starving newborn kitten crying out for its mother. My emotions are just that much a part of me. I feel things to a great depth. I have even felt the emotions of those I hold dear to my heart when I'm about 150 miles from them. And though sometimes I don't feel as if I have control over what I feel or to what depth I feel it, I believe that I can control how I react to it.

Actually, I've learned through quite a few experiences that my emotions are more trustworthy than my logic. Of course that's not going to be true for everyone. But I had almost no logic when I was growing up. The basics. "This is hot. Stay away from it." Stuff like that. But anything beyond that? I couldn't grasp it. It took me quite a while to be able to work on a much deeper level with my logic. I can now, but only with great effort. However, I've also learned to 'feel' when something is right and I go with it. I'm not always right, but I chalk it up to a learning experience. We each learn in our own way.

My actions through feelings used to be more out of control (there would have to be an understanding about certain events in my life). I acted like a spoiled brat only a few short years ago, mostly because I was scared and very uncomfortable in my environment. When I was growing up, my actions through feelings were about pleasing others in a fantasy/child-like manner. (I was a child after all.) Basically picking flowers for my mother, trying to do whatever I was told in order to please those around me, and basically just being quiet and out of the way. Now however, I prefer my actions to be genuine, for myself first and then for others. However, it doesn't always work out that way. (There are some things I feel it will take a lifetime, if not more, to learn.) As well, I try to show courtesy to others that I would myself enjoy. Trying to remember to say 'please' and 'thank you'. lol I'm also stubborn about certain issues close to my heart. Which I'm sure would be expected of about anyone, T or F.

I'm not certain that there's anything more that I can post. I thought you did a wonderful job of wording what you wanted to hear. I only hope that I didn't quite overdo it. (Methinks I did however... lol) In return, if you don't mind, I would be curious to hear back from you about the same questions in reverse for Ts. Perhaps, if it hasn't been done already, I should make a thread for that later on.

 

[niffer]

Keep in mind that although I am definitely an F in profile, my T and F are pretty much equal. So I hardly relate with the NF temperament anymore.

1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?

When I'm simply talking about them, I only experience them in a detached, objective way.

2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?"

No, I try not to, even though it does feels better when I go with them and pretend they are.

Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?

I'm pretty sure it rarely happens. But once I realize that, I'd be level-headed enough to not be anymore.

3) How does the feeling translate into action?

Sometimes it is controllable, and sometimes is it not. Sometimes it is controllable yet I choose not to control it; sometimes I would've chosen to control it but let it out on an impulse anyway. Sometimes it shows up on my face. Sometimes a feeling I have about something can inspire/motivate me to create art or plan a social movement.

4) Anything else you feel like sharing. I'm just a T, so I'm not even sure how to word all this in F language.

Everything is personal. Even though I may not respond to everything as though it is personal, everything is internalized, and every facet of the world is something that becomes a personal part of me. I'm not sure what I mean or how to say it...lol.

You don't have to answer each individual question, as I probably repeated myself. Just give us an idea of what it's like to be F in this crazy world.

Lol whoops.

 

[CrystalViolet]

1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?
I feel emotions almost physically. The good ones feel great, bad ones hurt.
It's very difficult for me to express, I feel other peoples emotions psyically too.
2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?
Not all the time, but most of the time. I have doubts at the moment, but for the most part they are trustworthy. Yes, my personal view has been clouded by emotions, especially unadressed ones, and when I second guess myself.
I can come across as kinda cold at times, but mostly people see me as a little tortured and self contained... I try to hold back my emotions as they are intense, and others could not cope. I barely cope at times, when it all comes spilling out. Don't get me wrong, this makes me sound like I'm a slave to my feelings, and I'm not...but it can be messy if I'm feeling intensly. A friend once accused me of pouring all my emotions into my artwork, and never truly expressing how I feel, until I crack. I never saw myself that way until she said that, because everyday I feel, emotions colour my world, but even though I have a expressive face, I don't show the depth of what I feel.

I haven't read all this thread, but it's been informative

 

[mlittrell]

Okay, help us Ts out. From an INTP perspective, I may feel things internally, but I'm usually detached from my emotions, and they generally don't get taken into account when I argue or make a decision. I may rely on my intuition, or my "gut" feeling about something, but it won't necessarily be a "feeling" as I suspect F people would feel them. If I feel something strongly, I always try to take a step back so my logic won't get clouded by my subjective feelings.

So here's what I want to know (inspired by the Mock Emotions thread):

1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?
2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?
3) How does the feeling translate into action?
4) Anything else you feel like sharing. I'm just a T, so I'm not even sure how to word all this in F language.

You don't have to answer each individual question, as I probably repeated myself. Just give us an idea of what it's like to be F in this crazy world.

1) First off, I don't talk about my emotions that much. Emotions in general, i do, though i generally don't describe them.
2) no. most of the time. yes, so i do tend to use logic when it is needed (ya feelers can use logic too).
3) dumb question because my feeling is internally based so technically every decision, which affects my actions, is based on feeling;.
4) the only thing i would have to say is just because i am a feeler doesn't mean i cant use logic, in fact, i tend to use it quite a bit (my major IS informations systems ).

 

[Dwigie]

Okay, help us Ts out. From an INTP perspective, I may feel things internally, but I'm usually detached from my emotions, and they generally don't get taken into account when I argue or make a decision. I may rely on my intuition, or my "gut" feeling about something, but it won't necessarily be a "feeling" as I suspect F people would feel them. If I feel something strongly, I always try to take a step back so my logic won't get clouded by my subjective feelings.

So here's what I want to know (inspired by the Mock Emotions thread):

1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?
They are very changeable, a bit whimsical but pretty strong and usually kept under cover when they are strong. If they're not that strong I let them out. Usually it's pretty active under the surface but very few people know this. When I do talk with my feelings you can't miss it, you'll either feel attacked because my arguments are very long and passionate and it's always expressed at the "crisis moment". I let them build up usually and when they come out => or . If everything is going well or I'm in a good I go into my typical "lazy lovey dwigie", just chatting around and checking up on people or laying around calmly. I'm rarely excited though, it's either terrible anger and panic or zen and loving.
2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?
No. Yes, I still am able to detach from time to time but it's usually to be able to understand how other people will feel about it. It's basically all about feeling, "objectively"?
3) How does the feeling translate into action?
Arguments, apologies, gifts, hugs, long discussions. I'm the kind of person who can knock on your door at 5 am just to make you hear me out because I want you. Basically I help you out or I'm a complete bitch.
4) Anything else you feel like sharing. I'm just a T, so I'm not even sure how to word all this in F language.

 

[Lady_X]

i don't know how to answer those questions...
i feel like when i walk into a room that i can feel what each individual is feeling and i have an emotional reaction to each of them according to what they're feeling and it just bubbles over and i relate to them in a very personal real way because...i do feel intimate almost because i'm so sure i know who they are and how they feel and rather or not they want to have a real or surface conversation
and i lack any rational thinking regarding this...it's all organic...i don't think about it...or analyze it..
i also tend to gravitate towards positive happy people because just being around someone angry or sad makes me feel that way too...and i hate it...unless it's a friend who comes to me to talk

 

[cass]

well, the thing is, a i would never even think of those things. to me, those questions are kind of contradictions to what being a feeler means.

see like, you were asking questions about feeling in a very logical way. the whole thing about me, or us, is that we really do just "listen to our hearts". i know a lot of times i just feel a certain way and i don't know why. i can usually figure it out if i want to and then it will make sense.

 

[Lady_X]

^^ agreed...and hi cass!

 

[wedekit]

To throw out an overly-simplified definition of my opinion: Valuing people, emotions, and the interactions/activities that cause both to flourish.

There is still plenty of room for logic in this formulation. It just seems that logic doesn't necessarily fit into the formula all the time.

 

[Dwigie]

Yep I agree with wedekit, but I use a lot of logic a whole lot it saves me from being extremely vengeful, if I followed my feelings 24/7 all hell would break loose in my house or school. I always take a step back if I'm feeling something and ask myself:
"I'm "x"
who: at someone or myself.
what: (angry, disappointed, excited..etc)
whenSince a month, a minute ago,today)
why: (Depends, because I hoped to do better on a test, because I felt attacked.)
It takes me very little time to understand why usually but at times I do this a bit after the emotion has toned down and a friend I trust is around so I can sort things out.
I can't stand feeling a certain way and just accepting it, I need an explanation.
I think emotions are reactions, you're not "just pissed".The cause can be tiny, like your ice-cream falling on the floor or a lack of sleep but to me emotions don't sprout of nowhere.(I just can't accepting not understanding why I feel a certain way)

 

[reason]

What is it like to be a feeler?

It's like ...

Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight
gonna grab some afternoon delight.
My motto's always been; when it's right, it's right.
Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night.
When everything's a little clearer in the light of day.
And you know the night is always gonna be there any way.

Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.

Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
looking forward to a little afternoon delight.
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite
and the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting.

Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.

Started out this morning feeling so polite
I always though a fish could not be caught who wouldn't bite
But you've got some bait a waitin' and I think I might try nibbling
a little afternoon delight.

Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.

Please be waiting for me baby when I come around.
We could make a lot of lovin' 'for the sun goes down.

Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.

Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.​

 

[Simplexity]

I cop feels all the time.

It's just how I roll.

 

[Tallulah]

It's like ...

Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight
gonna grab some afternoon delight.
My motto's always been; when it's right, it's right.
Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night.
When everything's a little clearer in the light of day.
And you know the night is always gonna be there any way.

Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.

Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
looking forward to a little afternoon delight.
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite
and the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting.

Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.

Started out this morning feeling so polite
I always though a fish could not be caught who wouldn't bite
But you've got some bait a waitin' and I think I might try nibbling
a little afternoon delight.

Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.

Please be waiting for me baby when I come around.
We could make a lot of lovin' 'for the sun goes down.

Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.

Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.​

Oh, wow. I always knew that was an atrocious song, but I didn't know the extent of the atrocity until I actually READ the lyrics.

 

[Simplexity]

I've actually never really heard that song.

I only briefly heard it in Good Will Hunting, is it really popular or something?

I'm remarkably incompetent when it comes to American pop culture. I have an excuse though!

 

[Tallulah]

I've actually never really heard that song.

I only briefly heard it in Good Will Hunting, is it really popular or something?

I'm remarkably incompetent when it comes to American pop culture. I have an excuse though!

It was a big hit in the 70s, for some reason. There's no real reason for you to seek it out. Unless you want it in your head for the rest of the year.

 

[Amargith]

1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?

Depends on the emotion. Passion I experience like my heart is a bursting vulcano pouring over with no way to stop it. Fear and anxiety is the equivalent of sitting in a dark, icy cold room with no sleep for three days and no way out, nor any idea on how long you will have to be there. Lust is experienced as if someone is touching me in the most pleasurable way right then, right there. It's why anticipation and flirting is just about as good as the real stuff, for me anyways. I absolutely love my emotions, the good and the bad, as they make me feel alive.

2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?"
Yes, and yes, unless I am already biased from another situation or inner fear. Then the emotional balance wasn't in neutral gear, and things can get blown out of proportion.

Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?

Yes. Unfortunately, I need to first digest those emotions, before I can get to that conclusion. I dunno what the others said about this, but I do not have a choice when it comes to feelings. A situation arrises, and my emotions react faster than my thoughts. That sense will give me an initial response on the situation to work with. Once I've dealt with the emotion, I use T to start picking it apart in order to understand it, and validate the next course of action already decided by my emotions. If they do not match up, I will actually close my eyes, ask which way to go and whichever option gets my gut to react will become my next action. In this, I take into account both T and F

3) How does the feeling translate into action?

See answer above

4) Anything else you feel like sharing. I'm just a T, so I'm not even sure how to word all this in F language.

Grin, too much to name. Feel free to process above info first and come back with more questions

 

[sade]

1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?
If I don't block them out when talking about them: I feel emotions strongly, they aren't something reaching out from the back of my mind, but something that responds immediately, present. They mold and echoe.. I'm very aware of them and can trace them back through long though patterns and why some emotion is present. I grasp emotions from others too, it's like background noise. Some stronger than others and some horrid. that make we want to back away. I adapt to those noices too, but I sometimes hate that I nearly take it as my own feeling. I can perceive my environment through the emotions it evokes in me and naturally evaluate things through it. Etc.. In those situations I may not feel much, but still. Emotion is evaluating also, assisted by thinking probably.
How do I experience feelings/emotions? Eh.. This certain intensity, always present. In different form but present. Not that I show my emotions much to the ouside world.

Sadness is this feeling of sorrow and grief from the bottom of my heart, it grips and doesn't let go. Like standing in an ice cold rain with your clothes soaked. Depression can feel like a huge black cloud surrounding me and suffocating. Passion makes me energized, like a zapp from somewhere through my veins and making me ache to do something. Burning and consuming, this warmth fills me. It's a good feeling. And so on.

2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?
My feelings are trustworthy; they are steady, stable, and there's no need to doubt, they are sure. So yes, they are trustworthy to me, more so than my thinking, which is constantly under doubt and speculation. Argh, I don't know how to explain. I feel my feelings are trustworthy, they are my feelings after all. I know my values and what I need to do etc. through them. I don't always take them as they come, but still. I don't always go on my feelings. Nope. And I don't really feel like emotions cloud my vision in normal situations, offcource a really strong emotional reacton can be hinderence, but it can be pushed back. But I don't see them as clouding my vision. If not through the feel then how would I even get a vision of things? Sure my thoughts are chiming in always, but no. My thoughts don't always remember what is important, they misslead, like thinking. I could use my intuition for that though. I'm just not sure how Ni is used, the hunches that I get?

3) How does the feeling translate into action? I may act on it now or later. Choose a way. I don't really know what I'm supposed to answer.

 

[Lady_X]

wretched