What's it like to be a Feeler?

[TrueHeart]

Taking things personally is more a mark of being ruled by one's ego. As an INFP matures emotionally, he or she will feel less disrupted by the emotional climate of his or her environment, and will easily adopt a detached, harmonious point-of-view when it would prove beneficial to the circumstance.

I'm unsure about the ego remark, but I agree that detachment and harmony come more easily with maturity, though I wouldn't go as far as saying it's ever simply easy.

 

[dorareever]

1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?

I experience emotions the same way every human does. Maybe sometimes they are stronger, or they get stronger because I tend to bottle up. Feelings, on the other hand, even though they have a strong emotional component, are a different matter. It's just...a feeling? Sometimes I have an hard time telling between N and F. They mix in a serene awarness of myself and the world around me. In a way feeling is an antidote to excessive emotion. By attaching a somewhat (for me) rational value to my physical animal reactions I can deal with them better. I don't leave aside emotions, I enrich them with feeling.

2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?

No, mostly because I'm never completely sure that they are trustworthy. Maybe because I've been educated by a NT family, and society as whole is pretty wary of feeling. Sometimes my feelings helped me, sometimes they didn't. But when I did something wrong because of feeling I didn't feel as bad as when I did something wrong after rational analysis. No matter if the outcome was the same. Some kind of "at least I tried!" attitude.
Never. By emotions, yes. By feelings, never.


3) How does the feeling translate into action?

What do you mean? I tend to do what *feels* good to me, I'm not really concerned with others IMHO. But in the end I am, because any kind of disruption in anyone's life can reach me and disturb me . I'm not living in a vacuum, I feel very much part of humanity and I feel humanity to be part of me. So I try to act to mantain my serene awareness and not be disturbed . Positive emotions, even if intense, can always be incorporated in this. But with negative emotions is harder to do so sometimes I do explode.

 

[Jeffster]

1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?

Wait, how do I experience them when talking about them? Or actually feeling them?

2) Do you always go on your feelings?

Oh Lord no, if I did I would be in prison right now. Or dead.

Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?"

Ooh, that's a tough one. I think some of them are, but definitely not all of them. I mean, there's good reasons my marriage lasted less than 2 years.

Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?

Oh yeah, all the time. Generally, it's clouded by how hot the girl is who is causing the situation.

3) How does the feeling translate into action?

Which feeling? I mean, there's all kinds of feelings and they all "translate into action" in different ways. Like right now I feel hungry so it will probably translate into me foraging for food.

4) Anything else you feel like sharing.

I like to share pretty much everything, but I suppose I'll just give myself 100 points for my alliteration in the answer to #3.

 

[luminous beam]

When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?
can we say "emotional rollercoaster." my emotions are usually pretty intense, though i'm not sure if it's entirely due to being an NF or to being a passionate person, or if that's one in the same. just like it was described earlier by someone, my heart catches on fire and it's very hard to ignore. it's a feeling right in my chest. this happens whether i'm happy, sad, hurt, angry...i could compare it to feeling a bit anxious, or nervous or excited.

Do you always go on your feelings?
if you're asking whether or not i base all my decisions on feelings, then no, not always. i think i've gotten to a point where i am capable of basing decisions on feeling, insight and past experiences to try to come up with the best options for me. it is very hard to go against the current of emotion though, but at times it has to be done for self preservation. Ex- like when i'd know that an idea would fail miserably because i totally idealized someone or something, it wouldn't make sense to go w/my feeling then. that's when it feels like i toss a coin up in the air, mind calls heads and emotions tails. i come up with the best options, but it's a whole different ball park to actually go with the best one.

Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?"
i don't think emotions in themselves are rational or irrational. to me feelings just are. i take them into consideration because it's a fact that i'm experiencing them no matter how one could try and look around them. it's better for an NF to take them into account than to ignore them because it could cause pain to deny us of our very being and core of existence. though, it's usually necessary to supress my emotions at certain times around others who wouldn't understand (...like other Ts per se )or in certain situations where it'd be better to keep calm and composed.

Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?
LOL...that's the story of my life when viewed from a non feeler's perspective. otherwise, if we all lived in a loving, caring and affectionate world my emotions would not be seen as something that would "cloud my judgement." i think my feelings enhance my perspective.

How does the feeling translate into action?
i feel therefore i think and then, and only then, do i act.

 

[Sunshine]

I wonder if the SF people are more apt to emote as the emotion is felt? Like sad=immediate crying, rather than feeling, but still maybe not showing it, as some of you have mentioned. It sounds like NFs might tend to feel things strongly but might not show it to just anyone? Is that true, S people?

Also, y'all, please know that all this is meant entirely respectfully. I have no intention of picking you apart or using the information for evil.

Nah I don't show my feelings to just anyone but that's just me. I know another ISFP who seemed to cry whenever she felt sad/upset regardless of who was or wasn't around.

Lol that last line made me laugh.

 

[Sunshine]

Now I wish I understood thinkers. It really boggles my mind that people could make decisions without thinking about how it will make themselves or others feel. Why would you not want to make sure that you and others won't be hurt by your decison?

If you don't take your feelings into account when making a descision then won't you end up making descisions that will leave you feeling unhappy? Or is it a sort of indirect thing? Like you make the most logical descision without considering your own feelings and THAT makes you happy?

Before this thread I was actually under the impression that thinkers do consider feelings when descision making but just in a different way. Like perhaps for thinkers it's just one thing on the list of things to consider when making a descision but for feelers maybe it carries the weight that normally 5 items on the list would carry?

Hahaha here's an example: It has already crossed my mind 9 or 10 times how this very post would make people feel. "Should I have worded that differently? Will it offend people? Is it cold? Should I word it with more warmth? Will it irritate anybody?" Thoughts like that entered and re-entered my mind. Lol how did I do? SHOULD I have worded this post differently?

Just to make it clear I think both T and F are amazing and beautiful and I love the fact that there are both feelers and thinkers in the world.

 

[ice cream head]

Okay, now coming to me how to express in words....

1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them? My heart is almost always on fire but I don't show too much of that outwards. People who don't know me often accuse me of being cold. Feeling can run so high it is like religious type ecstasy. I don't need drugs or alcohol to get high!

Everything in life inspires a feeling or a different nuance, color or tone in my emotinal world, everything affects me at a personal level and this is hard in an impersonal world.


2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?

My Feelings to me when making decisions are my personal values. My thoughts are allowed a voice always, but thought needs to remain the servant not the master. When thinking gets the upper hand, I usually behave badly. Thinking can be a trickester in a way and I need to slow down when that happens and listen to feeling to make sure I am on track, acting out of my heart.

As long as thinking follows feeling, and not allowed its own way without supervision by feeling, I do much better and make far better decisions. Thinking is the support for feeling.


3) How does the feeling translate into action?
It shows through the values that motivate my actions.

Edited to add: I used to believe that being a feeler was somehow bad or unfavorable, but now I am making peace with it. I realize that in my earlier attempts to squealsh feeling I only prevented myself from being what I am best at and I often get way off track. I can only be what I am. The key to perspective as feeler is to allow thinking a voice but to always realize that it is servant to the master, it should never be given the keys and allowed to drive, it is inferior for the feeler, a naughty, rebel teen when allowed full reign without feeling keeping it in its place. Of course this is not true for thinking in the thinker and they may not understand such a comment being made by a feeler.

Well, that settles it - I understand and agree with everything you say. So, even though the test I did was 50/50 between T and F, I guess that makes me an INFP.

Great post, BTW.

 

[Sunshine]

Well, that settles it - I understand and agree with everything you say. So, even though the test I did was 50/50 between T and F, I guess that makes me an INFP.

Great post, BTW.

Yeah that was a great post. Heart seems to be pretty good at putting things into words.

 

[SillySapienne]

I think thinkers are easy to understand.

Feelers...not so much.

They, (thinkers), say what they mean, and mean what they say.

We, well we feel lots of things and attempt to express our feelings verbally. I think we feel and mean a lot more than what we actually say.

Sorry guys. :/

 

[Sunshine]

I think thinkers are easy to understand.

Feelers...not so much.

They say what they mean, and mean what they say.

We, well we feel lots of things and attempt to express our feelings verbally. I think we feel and mean a lot more than what we actually say.

Hey I was just thinking that! You took the words right out of my mouth!

 

[squibbles]

Now I wish I understood thinkers. It really boggles my mind that people could make decisions without thinking about how it will make themselves or others feel. Why would you not want to make sure that you and others won't be hurt by your decison?

If you don't take your feelings into account when making a descision then won't you end up making descisions that will leave you feeling unhappy? Or is it a sort of indirect thing? Like you make the most logical descision without considering your own feelings and THAT makes you happy?

Before this thread I was actually under the impression that thinkers do consider feelings when descision making but just in a different way. Like perhaps for thinkers it's just one thing on the list of things to consider when making a descision but for feelers maybe it carries the weight that normally 5 items on the list would carry?

Hahaha here's an example: It has already crossed my mind 9 or 10 times how this very post would make people feel. "Should I have worded that differently? Will it offend people? Is it cold? Should I word it with more warmth? Will it irritate anybody?" Thoughts like that entered and re-entered my mind. Lol how did I do? SHOULD I have worded this post differently?

Just to make it clear I think both T and F are amazing and beautiful and I love the fact that there are both feelers and thinkers in the world.

The way you worded it, I definitely think about feelings when making decisions, but I test as an INTJ.

I think a good example of this is how I dealt with my roommate last year who felt that doing dishes was evil. This was particularly bothersome to me because we were freshman without a kitchen, and I was content to just get paper plates, but she wanted to split the cost of a cheap glass set. So I was fine with it, until moldy dishes began to accumulate in the room.

I definitely wanted to say something and end this once and for all, but I knew she was going through depression and I didn't want to make her feel like I was attacking her. So I brought up the issue in a rather round-about way--I said that I noticed that "neither one of us" was remembering to do the dishes, and so I asked her if she'd help me do half of them (when in actuality they were all hers). Then I mentioned that I was going to get some paper plates/plastic utensils for myself, but that she could keep using the dishes if she wanted.

So, in this sense, I definitely take people's feelings into account when I make decisions, but I don't let them have ALL the say. I mean, I felt pretty crappy bringing it up to her when she was feeling SO depressed already, and I did most of the dishes twice before I finally had it and stopped using them...but I just couldn't let guilt stop me from having a non-disgusting room.

But then again, I'm not a very strong INTJ...my T percentage is about 65% I think.

It's very interesting how the Feelers say they take everything at a personal level...except for one sore spot I have, I really don't take much personally at all, and often feel disconnected from other people...but I don't see that as a negative thing. (Except in romantic situations, which truly ARE the Achilles' heel of the INTJ....I just DON'T know how to turn off the T in that arena...)

 

[Sunshine]

The way you worded it, I definitely think about feelings when making decisions, but I test as an INTJ.

I think a good example of this is how I dealt with my roommate last year who felt that doing dishes was evil. This was particularly bothersome to me because we were freshman without a kitchen, and I was content to just get paper plates, but she wanted to split the cost of a cheap glass set. So I was fine with it, until moldy dishes began to accumulate in the room.

I definitely wanted to say something and end this once and for all, but I knew she was going through depression and I didn't want to make her feel like I was attacking her. So I brought up the issue in a rather round-about way--I said that I noticed that "neither one of us" was remembering to do the dishes, and so I asked her if she'd help me do half of them (when in actuality they were all hers). Then I mentioned that I was going to get some paper plates/plastic utensils for myself, but that she could keep using the dishes if she wanted.

So, in this sense, I definitely take people's feelings into account when I make decisions, but I don't let them have ALL the say. I mean, I felt pretty crappy bringing it up to her when she was feeling SO depressed already, and I did most of the dishes twice before I finally had it and stopped using them...but I just couldn't let guilt stop me from having a non-disgusting room.

But then again, I'm not a very strong INTJ...my T percentage is about 65% I think.

It's very interesting how the Feelers say they take everything at a personal level...except for one sore spot I have, I really don't take much personally at all, and often feel disconnected from other people...but I don't see that as a negative thing. (Except in romantic situations, which truly ARE the Achilles' heel of the INTJ....I just DON'T know how to turn off the T in that arena...)

Ah ok. Thanks for answering my question. Yeah it didn't quite mesh when I heard that thinkers don't take feelings into consideration because I've seen my ISTP brother and INTJ brother do things like that whole dishes incident.

Oh lol nah uhm I don't think feelers take EVERYTHING at a personal level.

 

[neofrizz]

Feeling...

1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?

I try very hard not to talk about my feelings/emotions. They are particularly valuable to me, as they are something that is not shared with many others (yet I am posting here... probably because I don't know any of you). I experience a wide range of emotion, but it doesn't show. i have been told I have "the perfect poker face", that I need to "lighten up", and that I am "entirely unreadable". I'm not entirely sure that you have to be expressive of your emotions to be an F.

2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?

I trust my feelings as far as reason permits. There are some emotional responses which make sense and don't need to be ignored or stifled. Others, on the other hand, are almost always the result of sleep deprivation, extreme stress, or momentary weakness. I frequently find myself neglecting my feelings in order to better assess a situation. If I can look at things coolly, I will better understand them.

3) How does the feeling translate into action?

For me, it rarely does. If/when it does, I use the energy in solitary/creative ways. I find frustration of any sort to be great inspiration, but I can't share it with others. I feel that there are not any who would understand, and if there were that they would busy themselves in a similar manner.

4) Anything else you feel like sharing. I'm just a T, so I'm not even sure how to word all this in F language.

I don't really know if I qualify for T or F, but I do feel things. I just don't share. I think I would be worried about what I would feel if I did share my feelings.

Anyways, there's my input.

 

[Bella]

I have some questions aboout F. They are not intellectuall at all.

1. Do F's generally talk a lot?
2. Do F's generally post longer posts?

 

[cascadeco]

I have some questions aboout F. They are not intellectuall at all.

1. Do F's generally talk a lot?
2. Do F's generally post longer posts?

1. Not an 'F' thing. More an E/I thing, although I'm not even sure that's a good generalization to make....even comparing myself and two other INFJ's I know, I'm by far the least talkative (in general I'm a very quiet person), whereas in contrast, one of the other two can talk anyone's ear off, and would probably be mistaken to be an extrovert.

2. Don't know. Doubt it? There are some T's on here who can make very lengthy posts, and many F's on here make extremely short posts. There might be more of a pattern in terms of cognitive functions rather than strictly T/F, but it would just be a general trend. There seems to be a lot of difference even within the same type.

 

[mlittrell]

it is impossible for me to explain. the only way i can explain it (now that i stated it is impossible to explain lol) is that when i need to make a decision about something, i dont stand back from whatever the situation but i put myself into the situation and ask myself, what is the right thing to do, or how do i feel about this.

 

[Haphazard]

2. Do F's generally post longer posts?

No.

See: Bluewing.

At least, so he says.

 

[DigitalMethod]

It's like being a thinker who isn't afraid to put themselves into situations in which evoke their emotions. Who aren't afraid to express their feelings. And most importantly are comfortable expressing their feelings.

(Note: Theory)

 

[Neo Genesis]

Okay, help us Ts out. From an INTP perspective, I may feel things internally, but I'm usually detached from my emotions, and they generally don't get taken into account when I argue or make a decision. I may rely on my intuition, or my "gut" feeling about something, but it won't necessarily be a "feeling" as I suspect F people would feel them. If I feel something strongly, I always try to take a step back so my logic won't get clouded by my subjective feelings.

So here's what I want to know (inspired by the Mock Emotions thread):

1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?
2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?
3) How does the feeling translate into action?
4) Anything else you feel like sharing. I'm just a T, so I'm not even sure how to word all this in F language.

You don't have to answer each individual question, as I probably repeated myself. Just give us an idea of what it's like to be F in this crazy world.

1) Ummm....I don't know. It's like I get a drive to do something. It definitely affects my mood. Man this is difficult to explain.

2) Most of the time. It may not always be the most logical/expected course of action, but whenever I do, it always puts me in a much better disposition.

3)

4) Someone (sorry, I forgot who) asked whether or not it was a mental or physical reaction. To be honest, I'd say it was neither, although that's just my own feeling on the matter. It just seems wrong to me if I try to classify feelings as mental, physiological, or some combination of both, so the answer then becomes neither. I hope that makes sense.

 

[Domino]

I ate a Lite Brite!