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What's it like to be a Feeler?

Seanan

Procrastinating
Joined
Feb 18, 2008
Messages
954
MBTI Type
INTJ
If, say, a friend is sharing a heartache with me or something, and my Ti comes up and points out some discrepancies in the tale, I'll just tell it to shut up and get lost, because that's not what *matters* at the moment.

Ya know, I was following along doin just fine til I hit that. It just doesn't compute! What matters? Your friend?... probably, okay, I'll go with that.... you're trying to help them... right?... awe geez, I lost it.... wait... okay, don't you have to understand to help? How can you do that if you can't figure out what's being said due to discrepancies? I don't get it. Are you saying all the "help" they need is a hug? Then, yeh, I can see it doesn't matter if you understand or not. By the "moment " do you mean you will need to understand at some point? Am I on the right track here? or just completely dense?
 

Wandering

Highly Hollow
Joined
Dec 24, 2007
Messages
873
MBTI Type
INFJ
I had a friend that I never quite saw eye-to-eye with, because she couldn't accept that I wasn't suppressing emotions all the time--she felt things so strongly and paid so much attention to her feelings, that she thought that I must be the same internally, but just repressing.
Projection, I guess: because she would have had to be repressing in order to be like you were, she assumed that you must be repressing too.

By the way: Mr Spock, and the Vulcans in general, didn't help on that matter, since it turned out that their emotional detachment smells strongly of emotional repression sometimes. So when Feelers think of the logical Thinkers, I'm afraid many of us have this image of the emotionally-repressed Vulcans springing in the back of our minds, and we don't REALLY believe that it's healthy for you to be the way you are. Sorry :blush:

I can suppress thoughts, but it's difficult, and I usually end up feeling I have to explore them and see if there's any validity to them. It sounds like that's what you're doing with feelings. Interesting!
Yeah, I like this "inverted mirror" effect between Thinkers and Feelers: we are the same, but not about the same things. Same for iNtuition and Sensing: I commented the other day on how Si feels like "inverted Ni" to me.
 

Wandering

Highly Hollow
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Dec 24, 2007
Messages
873
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Ya know, I was following along doin just fine til I hit that. It just doesn't compute! What matters? Your friend?... probably, okay, I'll go with that.... you're trying to help them... right?... awe geez, I lost it....
Is it OK that I'm laughing my head off at this point :laugh: ?

wait... okay, don't you have to understand to help? How can you do that if you can't figure out what's being said due to discrepancies? I don't get it. Are you saying all the "help" they need is a hug? Then, yeh, I can see it doesn't matter if you understand or not. By the "moment " do you mean you will need to understand at some point? Am I on the right track here? or just completely dense?
Nah, you've got it, pretty much :) And I wasn't precise enough in my description anyway. I mean, obviously, if my friend was telling me her story because she truly doesn't understand where it all went wrong, then yes, discrepancies would matter, a lot! I would need to get all the little details just right, because that's often where truth is hidden, in the details.

But I was thinking of those times when a friend would just sit there and bawl their heart out, and just basically want a shoulder to cry on. In those times, my duty is to make my shoulder as comfortable as possible, that's all. They want my sympathy, they want to feel like someone cares about how they feel, they want to feel like they are OK as a person. What they *don't* want is someone nitpicking their story apart and making them feel like their hurt is not paramount at the moment and like they may even have had a part of responsibility in it! So at those times, I'm all Fe ("I care about you, I feel your pain, I'm so sorry you're going through this, you're a great person, I'm here for you" <= not that I actually say those things, I only act them out), and no Ti. But if the conversation later moves on to the "why and how", then Ti will be called in to check the story in all its details, for sure!
 

Seanan

Procrastinating
Joined
Feb 18, 2008
Messages
954
MBTI Type
INTJ
Is it OK that I'm laughing my head off at this point :laugh: ?


Nah, you've got it, pretty much :) And I wasn't precise enough in my description anyway. I mean, obviously, if my friend was telling me her story because she truly doesn't understand where it all went wrong, then yes, discrepancies would matter, a lot! I would need to get all the little details just right, because that's often where truth is hidden, in the details.

But I was thinking of those times when a friend would just sit there and bawl their heart out, and just basically want a shoulder to cry on. In those times, my duty is to make my shoulder as comfortable as possible, that's all. They want my sympathy, they want to feel like someone cares about how they feel, they want to feel like they are OK as a person. What they *don't* want is someone nitpicking their story apart and making them feel like their hurt is not paramount at the moment and like they may even have had a part of responsibility in it! So at those times, I'm all Fe ("I care about you, I feel your pain, I'm so sorry you're going through this, you're a great person, I'm here for you" <= not that I actually say those things, I only act them out), and no Ti. But if the conversation later moves on to the "why and how", then Ti will be called in to check the story in all its details, for sure!

Whew! thanks... I got it... okay to laugh.. I just read it and did too:D

I get the "shoulder" and the "nit picking" and learned it for the first time from my 12/13 year-old, at the time, grandgirl.... now I know, an obvious "F." In fact, she informed me that trying to understand or give advice just made her feel worse... like she was "dumber than" me.:shock: :D She got hugs from then on. Telling on myself: I thought it was just because she was a pre/teen as I didn't know anything about "F" or "T" at the time. Thanks for enlightening me.
 

proteanmix

Plumage and Moult
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
5,514
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1w2
1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?
2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?
3) How does the feeling translate into action?
4) Anything else you feel like sharing. I'm just a T, so I'm not even sure how to word all this in F language. :shock:

So I've been thinking for a couple of days on how to answer this question.

I have two separate sets of feeling emotions: mine and other people's. I don't know if this is because I'm a Fe-dominant or not but I feel much more comfortable dealing with/discussing other people's emotions rather than my own. I'm not always sure how to describe what I feel, but I always feel it.

Most of my heat/emotions are generated from from others. I do have heat/emotions that radiate from my core but I don't care to investigate them. When I do try I get a lump in my throat and I feel uncomfortable like I said too much. I feel that other people's emotions are much more safer and handleable while my own personal emotions are more volatile and dangerous. Despite this I don't feel detached from my personal emotions, they're just chilling inside me and when they do emerge they tend to pop out like the Alien from Kane's stomach and I just push them back inside until the next time they want to pop out. People are like :wtf: and I feel exposed. My personal feelings usually manifest in moodiness with no source. When I say moodiness I don't mean that in a negative way. I notice this especially when I spend time alone my natural, uninfluenced moods and emotions surface and I don't particularly care for them. I have sometimes thought of myself as an emotional parasite, using other people's positive emotions to generate my own. (I like DDs custom title because it's pretty accurate for me) Generally, I'm neutral to passive about my own personal emotions but I have no doubt they have a large influence over me.

I'm much more assertive about managing other people's emotions and controlling my immediate environmental stimuli. The reason why I think I am is because they affect me too much and sometimes when other people get out of control, my alien baby wants to come out and I can't have that. :dont: My emotions/moods/whatever are very easily shift depending on my environment. I've noticed for this past week, when I enter the lobby of my job the receptionist placed very beautiful and fragrant lilies and I instantly perk up. Sounds and smells also round out things. If I feel a heavy atmosphere in my office it's a downer. I know this sounds arbitrary but it's really not. Outside influences on my emotions are easier to filter and stabilize so I'm actually pretty emotionally consistent. It's like some people like to study with white noise in the background because it helps them to concentrate. Basically, other people are my white noise. Or it's like a buffet of emotions and I can pick and choose what I want on my plate. These feelings are the ones that are trustworthy (more than my personal feelings) and I go with them 90% of the time.

"Clouded"? That's Thinker's talk, man ;)
My view of a situation is not clouded by my feelings: it's coloured by it. Constantly. Feeling is always there.

I agree. Feeling as a rational judging function is no more "clouded" than thinking as a rational judging function. Usually I base my decisions on how myself and others are interpersonally/intrapersonally affected.
 

Seanan

Procrastinating
Joined
Feb 18, 2008
Messages
954
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INTJ
I notice this especially when I spend time alone my natural, uninfluenced moods and emotions surface and I don't particularly care for them. I have sometimes thought of myself as an emotional parasite, using other people's positive emotions to generate my own.

This is only true of "E" feelers?
 

Ender

Large Member
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Jan 12, 2008
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This is only true of "E" feelers?

Not really no. I tend to do the same, especially in relationships. It's the empathic nature from earlier.

It's really annoying.
 

Wandering

Highly Hollow
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Dec 24, 2007
Messages
873
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In fact, she informed me that trying to understand or give advice just made her feel worse... like she was "dumber than" me.:shock: :D
Hm, yes, it would tend to make me feel that way too. It gives off an assumption that somehow my feelings should be reasonable and/or I should be able to reasonably deal with them (which, me being a Feeler, is simply not the case, so it's destabilising to feel like I'm being told that, especially when I'm asking for support!). And also it kinda relegates what truly matters to me at the moment (the feelings) to the background, in favour of what I couldn't care less about at the moment (what to do with them and where they come from). First things first: first I need to have this emotional flow taken care of, and then we'll see about taking care of any background cause or whatever.

She got hugs from then on. Telling on myself: I thought it was just because she was a pre/teen as I didn't know anything about "F" or "T" at the time. Thanks for enlightening me.
Hey, welcome :blush: Quite frankly: I think my son is a Thinker. I'm not looking forward to making the reverse mistakes, as I know I will :cry:

I have two separate sets of feeling emotions: mine and other people's. I don't know if this is because I'm a Fe-dominant or not but I feel much more comfortable dealing with/discussing other people's emotions rather than my own. I'm not always sure how to describe what I feel, but I always feel it.
Same here.
 

dotdalidot

New member
Joined
Apr 3, 2008
Messages
100
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UFO
I was just replying on another thread and think I might be getting a clearer picture. As a "thinker," when I'm conversing with someone, for instance, my mind works in a logical way. I'm fitting what they say into a logical construct. If they skip a part of that construct, I will have to ask for the fillin.

actually, im quite the opposite. if someone is telling me a story and they skip a few details, i never really ask them to fill it in. because most of the times i just know.

i just somehow end up understanding why they did it anyways, so i never ask because to me it makes sense. its as if i know why they did it, because i understand them somehow. :blink:
lol, ah this probably doesn't make any sense whatsoever, and it's probably completely irrevelant to this whole topic. but oh well, i'd just thought i'd share.
 

GZA

Resident Snot-Nose
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
1,771
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infp
1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?
2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?
3) How does the feeling translate into action?
4) Anything else you feel like sharing. I'm just a T, so I'm not even sure how to word all this in F language. :shock:

1) I generally don't talk about feelings and emotions because once I get into them they often pour out a little more than is comfortable or controllable. I have no trouble talking about values though.
2) I don't always go on my "feelings" in terms of emotion, but I almost always go on my values and motivations.
3) When I value something it manifests itself in action as stubborn all out highly motivated action done well. Maybe what I feel I need to or want to do isn't entirely logical or the "best" choice, but it will get done.
4) Nothing to add for now...
 

Noel

Member
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
613
MBTI Type
INFP
So here's what I want to know (inspired by the Mock Emotions thread):

1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?
For me, it's as if I'm constantly lying down on a beach: I'm consciously aware that it's low tide and safe at the moment albeit I'm blissfully ignorant as to when high tide will wash over me entirely.

2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?
Yes/No. I try to balance my feeling with some grounding in order to perceive the given situation across as many contexts as possible. From weighing my options out, I don't feel as if I made a poor decision even if it's (in actuality) illogical.

3) How does the feeling translate into action?

I should do this or I need to do this - I must do this. As to why? It's right. Why? Because I know. How? I don't know.

4) Anything else you feel like sharing.

I'm rather envious of T's expressing their feelings; they always appear raw, unfiltered and pure.
 

placebo

New member
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May 11, 2008
Messages
492
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INFP
1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?

Sometimes I find my feelings/emotions very difficult to describe, but I'm usually as honest as I can be about them when I talk about them. I try to express how I experience them as well as I can. When I talk about a feeling I've had or try to explain to somehow how I feel I try to become very aware of my body and my mind and just everything that is going on. But because a feeling can be sometimes very hard to articulate, I'll often have difficulties talking about them anyway. I experience them as they are though. Does this make any sense?

2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?

Yea I guess so, most of the time. I do trust my emotions. Sometimes I have emotions that don't trust certain emotions. It's lots of fun. I live my life so subjectively it's hard to say that a situation is clouded by my personal feelings. If I feel they are though (again, it's all a feeling) then I kind of try to distance things and look at things in a different perspective.

3) How does the feeling translate into action?
Just about everything I feel translates into an action. Um... maybe I don't get this question. I mean, I think all my actions are driven by a feeling, but feelings can stop me from action too. Feeling is just there, whatever I'm doing.

4) Anything else you feel like sharing. I'm just a T, so I'm not even sure how to word all this in F language.

I'm not even sure what T and F language is. I'm pretty sure by now that I'm an INFP but the first times I took the MBTI test online and still sometimes today I get INTP ... the very first time I got ISTP, so I don't even know how to judge between F and T sometimes. Sometimes they seem so integrated or situational. I kind of think that in a way I adapt my thoughts and logical thinking into feelings. Or that I actually have some kind of issue with my feelings and suppress them with rationality. I don't know if these responses helped. I get confused myself so easily :)...
 

Hotherym

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Dec 7, 2007
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83
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INFU
My god, it would take me hours to read through this thread now, which is sad since I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of insight into how everyone works, especially fellow 'feelers'.

1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?

It's rare when I actually discuss my own emotions, and I usually don't need to, since they're usually very obvious. My feeling, though not entirely separate by any means, are based off what I've always termed empathy, and they are heavily dependent -- or at least heavily influenced -- by my environment. I recognized this process in myself well before I knew what Extraverted Feeling was.

I'm constantly aware of my emotions, whether or not I'm paying attention to them, but that doesn't mean I'm terribly apt talking about them because they're often at the mercy of my Feeling, by which they are most often guided.
To personify it, Feeling is a hyperactive, fickle, and none-too-bright extravert who informs me of things by way of screaming in my face. If there's no thought to guide it, it ends up dragging me down to the darkest depths of despair, or shooting my emotions skyward to short-lived euphoria, all potentially in a matter of seconds, and mostly based on what's going on around me.

Of course, it can occasionally decide that the trusty codger, Thought, the quiet, mystical iNtution, or the trickster Extraverted Sensing have provided it something worthy of reacting to, and it will again slam me.

With all of that going on it can become extremely difficult to discuss my emotions. However, I can discuss someone else's with great ease. Hell, I can usually tell them what they're feeling (or, rather, emoting) before they know themselves. Problematic.

Here's an example of how a conversation may go between me, someone else, and Fe itself:

Someone Else: "How are you feeling right now?"
Me: [thrown for a loop] "Uh....
Hey, Fe? How am I fee—"
Fe: BLAAAAAARGHRAGHFJWAKKA HAHAH, ASS[etc. cussing] FWARHGTH!
Me: "Nevermind, Someone Else, let's talk about your feelings — I can tell you're really in a bad mood. Fe won't shut the f-ck up about it."
Someone Else: "...You're a crazy-ass [mean woman synonym]."

2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?

Whoa whoa, that's three separate questions.

First, yes. But that doesn't mean much, and if I answer with just that, it doesn't give the whole story. I trust Fe, but I don't always trust the crazy ideas that it can generate if Ti and Ni decide to let it knock them for a loop. In other words, Fe has the potential to adversely affect their functioning; it can influence Ti easily, making it 'panic' from the emotions, thus generating rather paranoid ideas, while Ni is awash in the emotions, temporarily drowned and creating all sorts of potentially goofy sh!t.

Furthermore, if I just put a gag on Fe and give it time out, I'll pay a price. Eventually, it's not going to let itself be hindered anymore and break loose, usually after I've been 'brooding' over a situation with Ni and Ti, who inadvertently feed too much to Fe. I can often trust Ni, but Fe makes me go ballistic. Sure, it may be feeling something legitimate, but it can get out of control directing my emotions.

Second, emotions aren't anything more than the reaction my brain's perception has to the environment. Thus, my emotions are only as trustworthy as the input driving them. Thing is, I usually trust my perceptions, and by extension, my emotions.

God, I hope I make sense with all of this.

Thirdly, I think I answered that with what I answered to the first of those three questions.

3) How does the feeling translate into action?

Again, I think I answered that within 2. Best I can tell, Fe drives me by grabbing at my environment and feeding Ni and, to a lesser extent, Ti, and being a weird buddy with Se (I have an XSFP side that can be pretty strong at times). All these functions are part of how I perceive the world around me, and so whatever they're doing creates an emotional reaction, mostly thanks to Fe.

I'm in touch with Fe pretty strongly, and the result is that less emotionally 'in-tune' people call me 'overemotional,' 'unstable,' and 'spastic'. Funny thing is, other Feelers I know think I'm too stable and rational, at least at points because of my constant love-affairs on the side with Ti. I can't win.

4) Anything else you feel like sharing. I'm just a T, so I'm not even sure how to word all this in F language.

I have often felt I'm cursed with all of my Feeling. I've never liked being as empathic as I am, feeling other's pains and suffering. I am overly sensitive to the 'emotions' of my environment, which can be overwhelming or stifling at times. All of that may be a big part of the reason I've developed my Thinking so much, but it's quiet and internal, like am intimate friend I talk to and confide in about intellectual meanderings.

In the winter I will have a lull in Fe and Se, and essentially become Ni, Ti, and to a lesser extent Fi. I'm sure that sounds like bullsh-t, but it can be heavenly at first. Then, as time goes on, I don't know what to do without Fe and become increasingly lost and introverted -- 'schizoid,' actually. It's then I realize I can't function without it.
 
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
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1,511
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ENTP
I'm a T, but I can answer these.
1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?
I'm pretty sure that Ts and Fs experience emotions in the same way. It's a human characteristic.
2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?
of course Fs don't always "go on" their feelings, and Ts aren't emotion-less robots. (seawolf?)

Isn't feeling that emotions are untrustworthy a contradiction in terms? A feeler would have to use a more empirical rationale to determine whether feelings are reliable....hence the perceiving functions. (which coincidentally, Ts can use to determine whether thinking is reliable)
3) How does the feeling translate into action?
I feel hungry so I'm going to eat?
 

Hotherym

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Dec 7, 2007
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I'm pretty sure that Ts and Fs experience emotions in the same way. It's a human characteristic.

This doesn't seem particularly accurate to me. My INTP doesn't seem to experience his emotions at all in the same way I do (mild alexithymia). Hell, even my INFP doesn't seem to. Emotional experience is, I'm sure, not just constrained by personality type, but many other factors.

Emotions are a reaction, but a person can certainly react to their emotions. Reaction is individual and based on many factors, and the outcome would be a different experience. This may sound nit-picky, but when I'm around people it actually comes across as fairly blatant differences, even if their base emotions are all very similar.

I wish I were better at explaining things, this is damn frustrating.

Isn't feeling that emotions are untrustworthy a contradiction in terms? A feeler would have to use a more empirical rationale to determine whether feelings are reliable.

This is the point I was trying to get across. Feeling is on its own, only my Ni and Ti (especially) can give me information about Fe. Fe isn't terribly informative, after all. I have to 'control' it with Ni and Ti.

I feel hungry so I'm going to eat?

I don't know about everyone else, but hunger is a compulsion for me, not an emotion. :D

The statement could be, "I'm pissed off so I'm going to go bash that woman in the face twenty times." Now that's the way I experience it.
 

erm

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1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?

Well, my feelings are very constant and stable, they only ever fluctuate over long periods of time, or possibly during a significant event. Feelings are the things that tell me what's inspirational or important, what's worth defending, what I should do in certain situations, and what I should do with my life overall. Very few things are more important to me than my feelings. The things that are more important I call ideals, and they were set in place by my feelings anyway. I think ideals are there to keep me stable when my emotions flux. My emotions being very inconsistent, unstable, and temporary. Emotions give me quick rushes like drugs, they react strongest around feelings. So, if I have strong feelings for a particular ideal, and someone attacks it, anger surges, if I come closer to achieving it, happiness surges. Basically my feelings inspire emotions to protect themselves.

I'm pretty sure everyone experiences emotions the same way, but feelings differently.

2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?

I always go on my feelings, they are the closest thing to my identity.

My emotions are rarely trustworthy, they are primitive and need overriding on a regular basis. Normally logic comes in to save my ideals and feelings from emotions that will ruin them.

My situations are completely controlled by my feelings, so they create the situations I guess, at least the important ones. However, my emotions always cloud situations, which is where logic and certain defensive ideals come in to control me.

3) How does the feeling translate into action?

Feelings create ideals, ideals create emotions, emotions cause motions. Logic and other ideals all step in to part two to stop me from doing something stupid.

4) Anything else you feel like sharing. I'm just a T, so I'm not even sure how to word all this in F language.

I have no idea how to word it either. The above is my attempt at doing so.

Instincts (hunger, sex, sleep, possibly fear) are normally an opposing force, they fight against my feelings. Which every one is strongest wins.

During strong bouts of feelings, getting all close and connected to an ideal, I feel a self, I also get a large amount of self control. During strong bouts of emotions, I lose a sense of self, and become a force. I don't know exactly what this means, except it emphasises how feelings are my identity, emotions are merely tools.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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Apr 23, 2007
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1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?
There can be a dichotomy to them. There is both a sense of important meaning and a repetitive trap. They can inspire growth and create roadblocks. They can instill a sense of appreciation and frustration. They are a strength when they produce understanding of self and others which leads to growth and inspiration. They are a weakness when they reinforce negative thought patterns and create an undue sense of neediness.

2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?
Feelings are not always trustworthy, but the problem is that they tend to be experienced as reliable in the moment they are felt. This is the core of deep inner conflict. Feelings are a source of information and can bring enlightened understanding of oneself and others. They can also create tunnel vision and blindness.

3) How does the feeling translate into action?
I see Feeling as an important factor to consider when choosing an action. The Feeling limitations and consequences of that action figure into the reasoning. For example, if I interact with a particular person whose perspective is distorted by their subjective view, I may or may not press them towards more rationality based on my sense of that view. I attempt to glimpse their distorted lens. Correct thinking can produce a desired state of being like peace, but a sense of peace can also produce more correct thinking. As someone who leans towards Feeling, my instinct is to first quiet the person or situation from a Feeling perspective before addressing issues of Thinking and objectivity. My impression is that the Thinker will press the individual towards increased reason with the assumption it will produce the desired subjective, individual state of mind.

4) Anything else you feel like sharing. I'm just a T, so I'm not even sure how to word all this in F language. :shock:
My understanding of F vs. T is that reasoning based on Feeling focuses on the subjective, inner experience of being human which necessarily places more importance on emotions themselves. Thinking takes a more objective approach, more detached from that personal, distorted sense of reality. T works towards allowing external reality to shape understanding. It values reasoning that can apply regardless of differences in individual vantage points. Feeling focuses more on those individual vantage points as a way of understanding reality. One way a Feeler can broaden their thinking beyond personal distortions is to spend energy understanding, from a deep and empathetic perspective, the distortions of others. By experiencing and understanding what the world looks like through a variety of distorted lenses, we can learn to not take our own distortions to be so absolute. Even with the broadened perspective, the Feeler can benefit from the perspective of the Thinker who perhaps strives to understand the world through the most correct, undistorted lens. A Feeler can reason into a nihilistic view that such a perfect lens cannot exist. A Thinker can perhaps more readily glimpse the clarity of such a lens and can sense the importance of striving towards it.
 

wedekit

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Nov 10, 2007
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694
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INFJ
1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?
I don't think I could entirely answer that question, since I only really feel comfortable talking about Fe specifically. My Feelings are directly affected by those around me, and so I spend a good deal of time trying to make sure everyone around me is feeling well and happy. If not, I can effectively go in and help them solve their problem. People go through gloomy times on a weekly basis, and the only solid cure for those moments in our life is the feeling that someone else is willing to listen, understand, and care.

2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?
I could never always go on my feelings or I would just be letting everyone in the world a free jab to my face. I never consider my emotions entirely trustworthy. I would say that I like to hide my feelings and ponder over them internally to make sure that what I feel makes sense. Having someone show me that what I feel is illogical comes across as harsh criticism to me and makes me feel ignorant, so I like to make sure I can back up my emotions/feelings with some degree of sound logic.

3) How does the feeling translate into action?
As I mentioned, I can give you the answer from my Fe perspective. I want everyone around me to be happy and to be the best they can be, but since I am introverted I can really only do that on a one-to-one basis. I make stable connections with lots of people since I am a RA at my University's Residence Hall, but I only deeply connect with a couple of people. However, I like to make sure every other person I meet knows that I am approachable and I don't mind helping friends out as long as it is within reason.

4) Anything else you feel like sharing. I'm just a T, so I'm not even sure how to word all this in F language.
Many MBTI books say that T's weigh out the pros and cons and choose their answer based on that. I think what makes me different from a T is that I never play that kind of game with people. I personally believe that people are always the most important factor when making any decision. However, I have learned that sometimes you can't always be considerate of other people and that you must be modest with your feelings. No matter how pure you intentions, some people don't hesitate to use them to their advantage.
I can easily see the value of any F learning to use their Thinking abilities more, but sometimes I fear that T's don't see the value in using their Feeling abilities more.
 

SolitaryWalker

Tenured roisterer
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
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MBTI Type
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Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I can perhaps give an intellectual account of what its like to be an F, but I doubt this shall be satisfactory.

So in short, I could say all I understand is that I don't understand, but I have a great deal of admiration for the INF inner life and outlook on the world, especially that of INFP. Tough world out there to be taken this personally. It is certainly an onerous burden to undertake doing so.

Both in my personal life and in literature, I often dont understand their ways and what they have to offer to me, yet I always listen.
 

disregard

mrs
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
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MBTI Type
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BlueWing said:
Tough world out there to be taken this personally.

Taking things personally is more a mark of being ruled by one's ego. As an INFP matures emotionally, he or she will feel less disrupted by the emotional climate of his or her environment, and will easily adopt a detached, harmonious point-of-view when it would prove beneficial to the circumstance.
 
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