User Tag List

First 56789 Last

Results 61 to 70 of 134

  1. #61
    Procrastinating
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    954

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Wandering View Post

    If, say, a friend is sharing a heartache with me or something, and my Ti comes up and points out some discrepancies in the tale, I'll just tell it to shut up and get lost, because that's not what *matters* at the moment.
    Ya know, I was following along doin just fine til I hit that. It just doesn't compute! What matters? Your friend?... probably, okay, I'll go with that.... you're trying to help them... right?... awe geez, I lost it.... wait... okay, don't you have to understand to help? How can you do that if you can't figure out what's being said due to discrepancies? I don't get it. Are you saying all the "help" they need is a hug? Then, yeh, I can see it doesn't matter if you understand or not. By the "moment " do you mean you will need to understand at some point? Am I on the right track here? or just completely dense?

  2. #62
    Highly Hollow Wandering's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    873

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    I had a friend that I never quite saw eye-to-eye with, because she couldn't accept that I wasn't suppressing emotions all the time--she felt things so strongly and paid so much attention to her feelings, that she thought that I must be the same internally, but just repressing.
    Projection, I guess: because she would have had to be repressing in order to be like you were, she assumed that you must be repressing too.

    By the way: Mr Spock, and the Vulcans in general, didn't help on that matter, since it turned out that their emotional detachment smells strongly of emotional repression sometimes. So when Feelers think of the logical Thinkers, I'm afraid many of us have this image of the emotionally-repressed Vulcans springing in the back of our minds, and we don't REALLY believe that it's healthy for you to be the way you are. Sorry

    I can suppress thoughts, but it's difficult, and I usually end up feeling I have to explore them and see if there's any validity to them. It sounds like that's what you're doing with feelings. Interesting!
    Yeah, I like this "inverted mirror" effect between Thinkers and Feelers: we are the same, but not about the same things. Same for iNtuition and Sensing: I commented the other day on how Si feels like "inverted Ni" to me.

  3. #63
    Highly Hollow Wandering's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    873

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Seanan View Post
    Ya know, I was following along doin just fine til I hit that. It just doesn't compute! What matters? Your friend?... probably, okay, I'll go with that.... you're trying to help them... right?... awe geez, I lost it....
    Is it OK that I'm laughing my head off at this point ?

    wait... okay, don't you have to understand to help? How can you do that if you can't figure out what's being said due to discrepancies? I don't get it. Are you saying all the "help" they need is a hug? Then, yeh, I can see it doesn't matter if you understand or not. By the "moment " do you mean you will need to understand at some point? Am I on the right track here? or just completely dense?
    Nah, you've got it, pretty much And I wasn't precise enough in my description anyway. I mean, obviously, if my friend was telling me her story because she truly doesn't understand where it all went wrong, then yes, discrepancies would matter, a lot! I would need to get all the little details just right, because that's often where truth is hidden, in the details.

    But I was thinking of those times when a friend would just sit there and bawl their heart out, and just basically want a shoulder to cry on. In those times, my duty is to make my shoulder as comfortable as possible, that's all. They want my sympathy, they want to feel like someone cares about how they feel, they want to feel like they are OK as a person. What they *don't* want is someone nitpicking their story apart and making them feel like their hurt is not paramount at the moment and like they may even have had a part of responsibility in it! So at those times, I'm all Fe ("I care about you, I feel your pain, I'm so sorry you're going through this, you're a great person, I'm here for you" <= not that I actually say those things, I only act them out), and no Ti. But if the conversation later moves on to the "why and how", then Ti will be called in to check the story in all its details, for sure!

  4. #64
    Procrastinating
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    954

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Wandering View Post
    Is it OK that I'm laughing my head off at this point ?


    Nah, you've got it, pretty much And I wasn't precise enough in my description anyway. I mean, obviously, if my friend was telling me her story because she truly doesn't understand where it all went wrong, then yes, discrepancies would matter, a lot! I would need to get all the little details just right, because that's often where truth is hidden, in the details.

    But I was thinking of those times when a friend would just sit there and bawl their heart out, and just basically want a shoulder to cry on. In those times, my duty is to make my shoulder as comfortable as possible, that's all. They want my sympathy, they want to feel like someone cares about how they feel, they want to feel like they are OK as a person. What they *don't* want is someone nitpicking their story apart and making them feel like their hurt is not paramount at the moment and like they may even have had a part of responsibility in it! So at those times, I'm all Fe ("I care about you, I feel your pain, I'm so sorry you're going through this, you're a great person, I'm here for you" <= not that I actually say those things, I only act them out), and no Ti. But if the conversation later moves on to the "why and how", then Ti will be called in to check the story in all its details, for sure!
    Whew! thanks... I got it... okay to laugh.. I just read it and did too

    I get the "shoulder" and the "nit picking" and learned it for the first time from my 12/13 year-old, at the time, grandgirl.... now I know, an obvious "F." In fact, she informed me that trying to understand or give advice just made her feel worse... like she was "dumber than" me. She got hugs from then on. Telling on myself: I thought it was just because she was a pre/teen as I didn't know anything about "F" or "T" at the time. Thanks for enlightening me.

  5. #65
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Enneagram
    1w2
    Posts
    5,514

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?
    2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?
    3) How does the feeling translate into action?
    4) Anything else you feel like sharing. I'm just a T, so I'm not even sure how to word all this in F language.
    So I've been thinking for a couple of days on how to answer this question.

    I have two separate sets of feeling emotions: mine and other people's. I don't know if this is because I'm a Fe-dominant or not but I feel much more comfortable dealing with/discussing other people's emotions rather than my own. I'm not always sure how to describe what I feel, but I always feel it.

    Most of my heat/emotions are generated from from others. I do have heat/emotions that radiate from my core but I don't care to investigate them. When I do try I get a lump in my throat and I feel uncomfortable like I said too much. I feel that other people's emotions are much more safer and handleable while my own personal emotions are more volatile and dangerous. Despite this I don't feel detached from my personal emotions, they're just chilling inside me and when they do emerge they tend to pop out like the Alien from Kane's stomach and I just push them back inside until the next time they want to pop out. People are like and I feel exposed. My personal feelings usually manifest in moodiness with no source. When I say moodiness I don't mean that in a negative way. I notice this especially when I spend time alone my natural, uninfluenced moods and emotions surface and I don't particularly care for them. I have sometimes thought of myself as an emotional parasite, using other people's positive emotions to generate my own. (I like DDs custom title because it's pretty accurate for me) Generally, I'm neutral to passive about my own personal emotions but I have no doubt they have a large influence over me.

    I'm much more assertive about managing other people's emotions and controlling my immediate environmental stimuli. The reason why I think I am is because they affect me too much and sometimes when other people get out of control, my alien baby wants to come out and I can't have that. My emotions/moods/whatever are very easily shift depending on my environment. I've noticed for this past week, when I enter the lobby of my job the receptionist placed very beautiful and fragrant lilies and I instantly perk up. Sounds and smells also round out things. If I feel a heavy atmosphere in my office it's a downer. I know this sounds arbitrary but it's really not. Outside influences on my emotions are easier to filter and stabilize so I'm actually pretty emotionally consistent. It's like some people like to study with white noise in the background because it helps them to concentrate. Basically, other people are my white noise. Or it's like a buffet of emotions and I can pick and choose what I want on my plate. These feelings are the ones that are trustworthy (more than my personal feelings) and I go with them 90% of the time.

    Quote Originally Posted by Wandering View Post
    "Clouded"? That's Thinker's talk, man
    My view of a situation is not clouded by my feelings: it's coloured by it. Constantly. Feeling is always there.
    I agree. Feeling as a rational judging function is no more "clouded" than thinking as a rational judging function. Usually I base my decisions on how myself and others are interpersonally/intrapersonally affected.

  6. #66
    Procrastinating
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    954

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I notice this especially when I spend time alone my natural, uninfluenced moods and emotions surface and I don't particularly care for them. I have sometimes thought of myself as an emotional parasite, using other people's positive emotions to generate my own.
    This is only true of "E" feelers?

  7. #67
    Large Member Ender's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    2w%
    Posts
    1,090

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Seanan View Post
    This is only true of "E" feelers?
    Not really no. I tend to do the same, especially in relationships. It's the empathic nature from earlier.

    It's really annoying.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Fe/Fi 36.9/37.7
    Ne/Ni 34.9/25.8
    Se/Si 25.7/19.5
    Te/Ti 28.4/31.9
    Type: 2w% sx/sp/so

    I don't want it, I just need it, to breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

    Never take life to seriously.. No one gets out alive in the end anyway.

  8. #68
    Highly Hollow Wandering's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    873

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Seanan View Post
    In fact, she informed me that trying to understand or give advice just made her feel worse... like she was "dumber than" me.
    Hm, yes, it would tend to make me feel that way too. It gives off an assumption that somehow my feelings should be reasonable and/or I should be able to reasonably deal with them (which, me being a Feeler, is simply not the case, so it's destabilising to feel like I'm being told that, especially when I'm asking for support!). And also it kinda relegates what truly matters to me at the moment (the feelings) to the background, in favour of what I couldn't care less about at the moment (what to do with them and where they come from). First things first: first I need to have this emotional flow taken care of, and then we'll see about taking care of any background cause or whatever.

    She got hugs from then on. Telling on myself: I thought it was just because she was a pre/teen as I didn't know anything about "F" or "T" at the time. Thanks for enlightening me.
    Hey, welcome Quite frankly: I think my son is a Thinker. I'm not looking forward to making the reverse mistakes, as I know I will

    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I have two separate sets of feeling emotions: mine and other people's. I don't know if this is because I'm a Fe-dominant or not but I feel much more comfortable dealing with/discussing other people's emotions rather than my own. I'm not always sure how to describe what I feel, but I always feel it.
    Same here.

  9. #69
    Senior Member dotdalidot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    UFO
    Posts
    100

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Seanan View Post

    I was just replying on another thread and think I might be getting a clearer picture. As a "thinker," when I'm conversing with someone, for instance, my mind works in a logical way. I'm fitting what they say into a logical construct. If they skip a part of that construct, I will have to ask for the fillin.
    actually, im quite the opposite. if someone is telling me a story and they skip a few details, i never really ask them to fill it in. because most of the times i just know.

    i just somehow end up understanding why they did it anyways, so i never ask because to me it makes sense. its as if i know why they did it, because i understand them somehow.
    lol, ah this probably doesn't make any sense whatsoever, and it's probably completely irrevelant to this whole topic. but oh well, i'd just thought i'd share.

  10. #70
    Resident Snot-Nose GZA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    MBTI
    infp
    Posts
    1,771

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?
    2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?
    3) How does the feeling translate into action?
    4) Anything else you feel like sharing. I'm just a T, so I'm not even sure how to word all this in F language.
    1) I generally don't talk about feelings and emotions because once I get into them they often pour out a little more than is comfortable or controllable. I have no trouble talking about values though.
    2) I don't always go on my "feelings" in terms of emotion, but I almost always go on my values and motivations.
    3) When I value something it manifests itself in action as stubborn all out highly motivated action done well. Maybe what I feel I need to or want to do isn't entirely logical or the "best" choice, but it will get done.
    4) Nothing to add for now...

Similar Threads

  1. ExxJs what's it like to be you?
    By proteanmix in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 08-17-2009, 09:43 PM
  2. What's it like to be a Thinker?
    By nightning in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 62
    Last Post: 07-06-2009, 02:01 AM
  3. What's it like to be a guy?
    By Giggly in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 378
    Last Post: 12-06-2008, 06:22 AM
  4. What's it like to be a Thinker?
    By nolla in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 11-09-2008, 04:10 PM
  5. What is it like to be human?
    By Grayscale in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 06-07-2008, 01:32 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO