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Thread: What's it like to be a Feeler?

  1. #131
    rawr Array Costrin's Avatar
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    Nov 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    This is a really interesting thread. What a cool idea!

    I was wondering (and maybe someone's brought this up already) if anybody here besides me thinks that, in a way, Ts are more emotional than Fs? Based on what (little) I've read here, it seems as if Fs really accept their emotions, and are very comfortable with them, and so don't really... I guess... react to them as much? Whereas Ts have a tendency to seem all-or-nothing emotionally... What do you guys think?
    Not true for me.
    "All humour has a foundation of truth."
    - Costrin

  2. #132
    Earth Exalted Array Thursday's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    8w9 sp/sx


    Quote Originally Posted by lemons View Post
    Do you guys always (try to) do the right things? Whatever that is in your world.
    That issue is on a level of maturity
    Not Feeler
    I N V I C T U S

  3. #133
    Banned Array
    Join Date
    Apr 2009


    I rarely get emotions that are positive.

  4. #134
    Senior Member Array Tiltyred's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    468 sx/sp


    Feeling for me is physical. I feel everything in my body before it even hits my head. When a person is talking to me, I feel everything they're saying. Sometimes this is funny if they're a strong T, because they'll be speaking dispassionately of something that I holler about when I hear it, and sometimes when I'm all outraged on their behalf, they're like. Oh, you know, yeah, actually. When someone else is talking, I am watching the movie of what they're saying in my mind and I'm feeling it along with them.

    I cried at work once when my boss stopped by my desk and I asked him why he was angry and he told me. It destabilized me and I burst into tears. He thought (because he's a T) that I was crying because I thought he had yelled at me. I knew he was not yelling at me, he was just yelling.

    I turned down an invitation to the opera because beautiful music makes me cry. The person said what if it's not a sad story? I said it has nothing whatsoever to do with the story. The intensity of the music blows my circuits.

    For me, that's why everything is personal. It impacts me physically. You don't get more personal than that.

    I put myself in the other person's position automatically. But this extends even to the physical world, like, I was looking out the window and two birds took flight, and my stomach lurched like I was flying and I felt it when they lifted up. So everything makes feeling. Everything. Smells, colors, tones of voice, qualities of light, everything gives me a physical feeling, some chemical surge.

    I like what was said above about ideals. Ideals are what hold me steady. For example, if you come to me telling me about some dumb-ass thing you did to yourself that's made you miserable, I feel your regret, maybe shame, misery, maybe trapped feeling, whatever else you bring, and I acknowledge it for you/with you. T might say, "Well, you brought it on yourself." F says, "And blaming doesn't help anything." What's the most important thing? The ideal is Do no harm. I try to do what will cause the least amount of negative feeling in the long run.

    Unfortunately being so attuned all the time makes me seem insensitive sometimes because I have to really pick and choose what I'm going to address and how far I am going to go with it, who I'm going to let in and who I have to exclude or they will literally make me sick.

    When I hear a story with a hole in it, my intuition says "glitch! glitch! glitch!" and I file it away. I know there is something hidden in that spot. I wait until the story comes out. It always does if you give it time. It's not my story so I don't force the telling of it. I wait for the other person to let it unfold, but I do note along the way when something doesn't feel right about what I'm being presented with. It's not about me showing that I'm smart and I can see a hole, though. It's about going through a journey with someone else and letting them know they're not alone. Hearing a story with a hole in it feels like you're walking along and all of a sudden your foot does not make contact with the ground when you put it down. What emerges when that spot is revealed tells me a lot about the person -- the things you hide are as important as the things you show.

    Yes, I always trust my feelings. That's why I have them.

    As much as possible, I don't show them, because I don't want to impose.

    Feelings do lead to thoughts but they don't always have to for me to realize truth from them. With maturity and practice, I know when I feel certain things, it means something. Also with maturity and practice, I hold off a beat or two before I act on what I feel. If it's true, it will still be true tomorrow. Sometimes I will wait until what I feel materializes. Sometimes, though, I don't. Especially with negative emotion, I try to hold it up to an ideal. That keeps me from acting out my revenge fantasies.

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