whew! got that out of my system. nothing personal to any of the posters as i'm deeply grateful for your insights. i'm just feeling frustrated because, while intimacy comes natural to people like me (generally speaking, i.e., ENFPs), we we need protection, too, otherwise we'd be spent. most people get the surface intimacy. it is genuine but nowhere near what i think we're capable of offering, reciprocating.
and therein lies the problem: i feel most stimulated, most engaged, and able to be most authentic around INTs. so is it a contest to see who can let their guard down first?
(parenthetically, we've spoken of the soft, creamy INTJ core. what's the ENFPs? )