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  1. #31
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Positives: silly, funny, smart, curious, thorough, well-dressed, gives good advice, and once somebody told me I was analytical

    Negatives: moody, impulsive/impetuous, argumentative, cynical, bossy, defensive

    Neutral: political, should be a lawyer or teacher (but never a doctor, astronaut, or pastry chef ), talkative, bourgie (I'm quite proud of my buppiness)
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  2. #32
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Santtu View Post
    Sounds like a rather wide-angle view of you, with many aspects covered. Do you think you're being WYSIWYG to promote that kind of insight into you? Do you get these evaluations in a short or a long time of interaction?
    Well, the therapist told me her perceptions a year into my therapy... but it was specifically her "first perceptions" of me based on my initial 2-3 sessions, and she said it was borne out over time.

    Is there any personality trait that people fail to comment on you, leaving you wonder if they don't notice it?
    Most people would see my creativity/music first. They'd learn about my thinking abilities only if I had an opportunity to talk with them, so some people were never aware of how deeply I thought about things.

    Normally my persona to people on first meeting is "quiet, not offensive, friendly" if I'm not neurotic, and otherwise "skittish, anxious, and withdrawn" if I am. (Unless they're N's; then they immediately get to see me come to life.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Another thing I get a lot is "diplomatic" (and I sometimes get the impression it's code for "avoids conflict like the plague"). People seem to think this about me to the point that, at a recent meeting of my local womens' group, we got into a heated debate over something and afterwards people kept asking me if I was okay. I was fine- I had enjoyed it greatly, actually, but they weren't used to seeing me argue a position passionately since typically I am the one who sees both side and facilitates. They were actually seeing a truer me than they were accustomed to seeing- and they didn't recognize it as me.
    That's fun, isn't it? Especially because all along you knew "you" were in there, but they had no idea.

    I have to admit the first few times I saw you passionately argue something [with me], I actually thought you were mad at me (because you facilitate so well, so if you STOP facilitating, then the assumption is that you're upset)... then later realized it was nothing of the sort.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  3. #33
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    what I usually get

    - smart, a bitch, a very loyal friend, the person you call to fix something that's gone wrong, the girl with all the answers, the last person you want to cross, the best drinking buddy you could have, a cool guy in a girl's body, the must have party guest

    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  4. #34
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    people often remark on my confidence - or what they perceive as confidence - it's actually a combination of obliviousness and preoccupation, as in I'm too preoccupied with whatever hairbrained idea I'm currently developing, to notice whether/how other people are looking at me or reacting to me or whatever.
    That makes perfect sense! Who could afford to be preoccupied if they were insecure about their immediate surroundings?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #35
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    I'm confusing to people or I am good in changing my behavior with people because I have said to be:
    - restless
    - calm
    - friendly
    - intimidating
    - very business like
    - very laid back
    - brainless
    - intelligent
    - logical
    - unlogical
    etc.

    One thing I have never been called is being serious and I am never unemotional. So most of time I'm smiling or laughing (which must be very annoying for serious people. )

  6. #36
    Procrastinating
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    Well, isn't this an embarrassing one? I'm going to view it as a challenge.

    I must preface it with... I don't, necessarily, agree with most of the descriptions. The inaccuracy/accuracy lies with the person describing and, the descriptions that have come to me, I've found very humorous actually. I've also wished I was a fly on the wall at times.

    * If you have a problem, go see/call ---- (me.)
    * From both sexes... she's more like a man. The good ole boys call that "aggressive" and the gals call that "confusing."
    * shy/snobbish/self-confident/classy
    * intelligent/nerdy/profound/wise
    * logical/objective/flakey(?)
    * wishywashy/resolute/stubborn/strong
    * philosophical/spiritual/psychic/looney/spooky(?)
    * scattered/focused
    * compassionate/cold

    Obviously, none of those thinking of me in these ways knows me very well... especially the good ole boys. The only person who does... hubby... just says "I've never known anyone else like you." That's open to speculation. I asked him what that meant once and all he could come up with was "You're unique" or "You're special." Nice. I think.

  7. #37
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alcearos View Post

    One thing I have never been called is being serious and I am never unemotional. So most of time I'm smiling or laughing (which must be very annoying for serious people. )
    Shiny and happy, yeah!
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  8. #38
    Wild Card Atomic Fiend's Avatar
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    People do talk about me, I know because I've been told that much, but I have no idea what they say.

  9. #39
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    Shiny and happy, yeah!
    Happy maybe but shiny - no way!

  10. #40
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alcearos View Post
    Happy maybe but shiny - no way!
    *sulks and skips back to the fluff zone where she will no doubt be confined to if she enters this thread as an ESFP again*
    Time is a delicate mistress.

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